Twelfth night family reunion

Another frosty night under a bright full moon which has just started to wane. Bright sunshine and a clear sky when I woke up after a fairly good night's sleep. Owain came over to join his sisters to take Clare to St David's Spa for a belated birthday treat with her offspring. I didn't join them as I'm not sure if I can take that measure of unusual stimulus without being overwhelmed. It's a kind of vulnerability I've never experienced before, and I need to proceed with caution to avoid accidents. 

Instead of going with them, I did the grocery shopping, and then cooked a veggie sugo ready for tonight's pasta supper. I ate enough at lunchtime to ensure my blood sugar didn't drop but still felt unwell, my head throbbed as if I'd been poisoned, and my thought processes slowed down and became erratic. When I laid the supper table, I forgot to include myself. Fortunately however, I cooked enough for five. A walk in the park cleared my head, and this time when a pied wagtail landed on the path ahead of me I was quick witted enough to get a good photo of it. Earlier, Clare took a few photos of me with the girls. At supper time I took a full family photo of the five of us at the dining table using the timer with the camera perched on the piano. I must have taken the same picture of us all together at family gatherings many times over the years.

After supper we relaxed and made music together until tiredness caught up with each of us in turn.  

Guitar maintenance

Minus one when I got up in bright sunshine with the rising sun illuminating cirrus cloud over the horizon and frost on the ground. Clare made pancakes for Rachel's breakfast with gluten free flour, improvising a recipe as she went along. They were slow to cook, so it was just as well Rachel got up late. 

I went to the St Catherine's Eucharist on my own and did some food shopping on my way home. The girls were on their way out for a walk as I arrived, but I didn't go with them as I felt a bit light headed, though not as bad as when my blood sugar is low. 

Shopping in the Coop I found difficult with many visual distractions and items to hunt for, not always clearly visible. My brain processes slow down when it comes choosing and finding things on shelves as well as navigating my way around cramped aisles populated by other busy shoppers and shelf stackers. I find it drains me, and I need recovery time to clear my head. I have to be much more patient with myself, and that's perhaps the hardest thing of all to do.

We had our customary Sunday lunch of salmon, roast veg peas and snap peas, followed by mince pies, and went for a walk before tea. Out came the guitars for music making again, but this developed in an unusual way. Rachel discovered that my Bernal flamenco guitar had a broken D string. The spare D string Kath put on for me on a previous visit had snapped yet again. I was once told when buying strings that the D string is the one most prone to break. The reason for this physically speaking is unclear, as there's no flaw in the neck alignment or upper bridge of the guitar. Rachel took on the challenge of mounting a new string with a tiny cushion beneath the string where it connects with the bridge to spread the stress at the point where it is most likely to break.

Not only is she an accomplished guitarist, she loves working on instruments. She successfully fitted a sophisticated electronic pick-up to a guitar of her own, a job involving some careful carpentry. She said with enthusiasm that she'd love to train as a luthier. My 65 year old Tatay guitar is one she loves to play. it is a special instrument full on memories, scratches and dents. She's keen to give it some TLC. Decades ago the original machine heads needed replacement. I bought a pair and fitted one but either lost my nerve about fitting the second, or just never found time to finish the job. When she found the unused spare, she set about fitting it, a rather tricky task, but one which made her eyes light up with pleasure. I have a third guitar, a nice acoustic Fender, inherited from my sister Pauline's daughter Kay with a machine head that no longer turns. It's jammed. If I can buy a replacement machine head, I foresee Rachel bringing that instrument back  into service too.

We had a lovely relaxed evening playing together in different ways, piano, flute, guitars in action, pauses to  re-tune guitars as the strings settled down after maintenance, until tiredness defeated us all in the end and drove us early to bed.

Home reunion

Another bright frosty winter's day after a fair night's sleep. I woke up clear headed for a change and stayed like that until lunchtime low blood sugar assailed me. Clare cooked pancakes for breakfast, and afterwards I went grocery shopping. On returning I started to feel light headed as my blood sugar dropped, so I made haste to cook some pasta and make a chick pea and mushroom sugo to go with it. Fast food but tasty, and it quickly boosted flagging energy level. While waiting for Kath and Rachel to arrive, I walked in Llandaff Fields for an hour, and spotted a pair of pied wagtails foraging on the footpath but they moved too quickly to photograph. The girls had just arrived when I got home.

After cups of tea and biscuits, Rachel took out her grandpa's 'cello and started playing, I accompanied her on the guitar and Clare or Kath joined in on flute. I rarely feel inclined to pick up the guitar to play on my own, less so since the stroke, but when Rachel started playing, I automatically joined in with her, despite a few errors due to lack of practice for many months. My guitar playing relies on harmonising from memory and I found that my musical memory and ability to recognise things without latency isn't as affected as it is with visual memory, which still works, but is slower. For this, I am most grateful.

We went out for supper to Stefano's and had an excellent early evening meal. The rising 'Wolf' full moon was with us on the way to the restaurant and the way back. We stopped and howled at it, the way we did when the girls were young. When we got home we made more music until it was time for bed, preceded by a foot rub from Rachel. So lovely to be together again.

 was less impaired

Swiss tragedy

Another cold bright sunny winter's day. I benefited from getting to bed earlier, but only in the sense that I coped better with interrupted sleep, getting up half a dozen times to empty my bladder. I wake up now, eat a banana and drink water before taking my first round of pills, then I don't feel as poorly when I get up for breakfast. Clare made herself lunch early as she had an afternoon hospital appointment which requires her not to eat for several hours before the scan. When I got around to making my lunch at midday, I started to feel light headed and continued to feel poorly after l'd eaten. Then it occurred to me that I may not have drunk enough fluid to replace the amount lost overnight. I didn't feel desperately thirsty and drinking more than a litre of liquid isn't easy if swallowing muscles tend to work spasmodically.

Terrible news of a New Year's Eve fire at a party in a bar in the Swiss Valais ski resort of Crans-Montana killing over forty young people and injuring 115. Hospitals in Italy, France and Switzerland are receiving badly burned patients helicoptered from the site. Identifying victims will take time for forensic teams. Phone videos of the blaze as it spread through the bar ceiling, and attempts to extinguish it have appeared on social media. How could it happen? It's common enough to have lit candles on tables, flares, sparklers and firecrackers used at indoor parties, and if there are flammable festive decorations there's danger. In this case birthday cake sparkler candles were mounted on Champagne bottles People can take risks without realising it. Risk taking is part of the thrill of winter sports. Does this excitement extend to playing with fire indoors as well? Someone holding sparklers up, close to a wooden lattice ceiling in a warm dry environment, a moment's inattention in a crowded place could trigger a blaze with unforeseen tragic consequences. 

Text and email messages from BT arrived to say our new broadband router will be delivered at some time from today onwards. We still have to wait four days for an OpenReach engineer to come and install it. Tracking the delivery was useless. Not even an approximate time within the stated time frame was given. I had to stay in for the delivery as Clare had a hospital appointment. I didn't want to waste an hour's sunshine, so I put a note on our letter box asking that the parcel be left in the blue recycling bag in the front garden. Five minutes later as I was walking away, I had a text message informing me that delivery would take place mid morning tomorrow. 

I walked for an hour until sunset, and on my way home Rachel video called me from Kath's kitchen in Kenilworth. It was lovely to see her and Kath together again. They'll be visiting us tomorrow. She was still on line when Clare returned, slightly radioactive, she said, following a brain scan. Keep away from children for a while, she was told, while the radio isotope in her blood stream passes out of her system. Clare baked a fresh batch of delicious mince pies with her own mincemeat and puff pastry before supper. Another episode of 'Little Drummer Girl' after we'd eaten, then bed.

Inspiring faithfulness

I got to bed by eleven and slept through the midnight hour, without hearing any more fireworks, waking up just in time for Thought for the Day, delivered in verse by regular contributor Jane Manfredy. Clare and I had a lie-in together until breakfast time. Another bright sunny day, four degrees this morning. We went grocery shopping together. Most shops were shut but the Turkish supermarket on Cowbridge Road East was open. We bought vegetables and I cooked fish to go with them for lunch when we returned. I slept for an hour after we'd eaten, overwhelmed by tiredness.

I had an email message this morning from Staysure travel insurance about advising the company about any change in health status likely to affect my travel policy when time comes to renew it in three months time. Well, sadly that won't be happening. I won't be travelling abroad any time soon, maybe never again. To avoid complications with automatic policy renewal hassles, I'm going to cancel the policy early. I don't know if I'll get a refund for the last couple of months, but if I do it I won't need to contact Staysure and go through the hassle of dealing with the renewal process debiting my account automatically on the assumption there is no change in my insurability. 

I received an email this afternoon from the niece of one the last of the stalwart faithful members  of Saint James' Parish Church Tredegarville telling me that Iris Salmon had died recently, aged 92. Only ten days ago I sent her a Christmas card and newsletter, containing our contact details. Hence this message. She was a diminutive bright eyed woman with a wry sense of humour. I enjoyed working with her when she was church warden and I was Vicar of the church, now converted into apartments. 

Having failed to obtain EU social funding to turn the building into a church community resource centre, it was a hard decision to give up worship in a building that the small congregation could no longer afford to maintain, but her love for the parish she lived in and its church school led her to support the decision to continue services in the school hall on Sunday afternoons and Mondays after school, and she was a regular participant in these while they lasted, always quietly steadfast and faithful. I remember her telling me that as a young seamstress during the war she had worked on making parachutes for the military, so thorough, patient and loyal.

I'm especially thankful to our Maker for her gentle kindness and devotion to church life and its school in daunting times for faithful people. She never married, but was devoted to the children of the Parish. She never gave up on God or His church, as so many others did. May she rest in peace and rise in glory.

I walked in Llandaff Fields an hour as the sun was setting. At the top end of the park, I was accompanied by a big Mistle Thrush that hopped along the grassy path just ahead of me. Sometimes as the light begins to fade I glimpse movement in the trees or undergrowth, maybe a dark shape,  but because of my visual impairment I can never be sure if I'm seeing a bird, or a floater in my eye, or hallucinating. This time the bird hopped slowly, unafraid of me it seems, and its distinctive plumage was clearly visible at close range.

Today is the 75th anniversary of the launch of BBC Radio 4's soap opera 'The Archers', which I remember  being listened to on the radio at home on BBC Light Programme when I was a boy. Several programmes in the schedule are devoted to discussions about it. Womens' Hour this morning explored the portrayal of female characters over the years, and The Archers podcast is now a regular feature. Recent episodes have focused on the toxic and disruptive behaviour of young ex-prisoner George Grundy whose personality disorder drives him to alienate himself from family, friends and villagers. In tonight's episode George is found unconscious on a bridle path after a bottle has been smashed over his head. 

In an unusual innovative spin-off, a Radio 4 drama follows, set in a local police interview room where key soap opera characters, whose relationship with George have turned bad, are interviewed by the lead detective conducting enquiries. An interesting way of probing and exposing motivations. A great way of spinning out a dramatic story line affecting the whole village throughout the holiday season and turning it into a 'whodunit'. Then, the annual New Year's Day concert from Vienna's Musikverein on BBC iPlayer. As ever, it's a great delight. Given the many uncertainties the world faces with the shadow of war and catastrophic potential of climate change to destabilise the world, taking refuge in two hours of genteel optimistic music is a consolation before going to bed. It may not change the way the world is, but it may lift the spirits enough to help us face the future and keep us from despair

Rachel's homecoming

Minus one this morning under a cloudless sky with bright sunshine. I heard the central heating switch on automatically when I woke up in the night. I was awake for nearly four hours of nine and a half in bed, a poor night's sleep indeed, lying half awake plagued by anxious thoughts and feelings, maybe due to eating more than I normally do yesterday.  I don't have trouble getting to sleep to start with, but if I'm disturbed by the cold or my bladder amd wake up, it takes longer to let go of consciousness again.

I posted today's YouTube link to the WhatsApp Daily Prayer thread when I got up at half post eight. After breakfast I went through my postings on the prayer thread to make an archive copy of all this year's weekly Biblical Reflections, about four dozen of them. The few missing are from the period I was recovering in hospital after the stroke. This task took me up to lunchtime. Despite having cooked bacon for breakfast, my brain was foggy and tired with low blood sugar by lunchtime, but Clare's fish pie for lunch revived me.

Veronica's Christmas email newsletter illustrated with family photos arrived. The resemblance between her and her mother June is striking.  There was a WhatsApp message from Rachel in the small hours, when she was about to take off from Phoenix to fly home. It will be so good to see her again, especially after the uncertainties of illness over the past three months, wondering on bad days if I'd survive to see her again. It won't be long now! Her flight arrived at half past one. Kath picked her up at Heathrow and drove her to Kenilworth to celebrate New Year. 

I went out at three and walked in Llandaff Fields for an hour and a half until the setting sun lit the clouds along the horizon in shades of orange yellow and pink against the clear sky above. Tonight is going to be another cold one. Once it was dark the random noise of festive fireworks, far away or near, shook the neighbourhood, distressing pets. I watched a couple of episodes of Le Carre's 'Little Drummer Girl on BBC iPlayer and then opted to see the New Year in by going to bed early, tired already.

Winter chill

I thought I saw the sun rise through the haze over the rooftops when I got up this morning, after another inadequate night's sleep. High cloud prevailed. giving occasional glimpses of sky, and the temperature dropped to three degrees. I didn't feel hungry but my blood sugar must have been low as it often is before lunch, making me feel faint, thinking incoherently.  Initially I thought it was due to another broken night, but I slept fairly well. I don't understand what's happening to my metabolism.

Clare had an early lunch, put a load of washing on the line in the sun, then took a taxi to Rumney to have her hair done by Chris at his salon. I made a veggie pasta dish for lunch and took my daily clot busting medication with plenty of water. My head cleared enough for me to record and edit next Wednesday's Morning Prayer and Reflection. I felt relieved that mental exercise didn't drain all my remaining energy. I helped Clare hang a load of washing on the line as rain wasn't threatened. It was still damp  due to high humidity when I brought it indoors before going out for an hour's walk in Llandaff Fields before sunset.

As I was passing the camp site in Pontcanna Fields, a man emerged, eager to tell his story to someone else. He told me he'd just bought a jacket in a charity shop for four pounds, and found thirty quid hidden in an inside pocket. Just as well it wasn't someone's forgotten stash of drugs!

Before and after supper I made the first Morning Prayer video slideshow for the New Year using the audio I'd edited earlier and uploaded it to YouTube. I watched the concluding episode of 'The Night Manager', and then went out for a breath of fresh air and exercise before going to bed early, determined to get more rest, if not real sleep.