Vicious circle

Another bad night of wakefulness, being dehydrated by the meds and as a result diarrhea, dehydrating me further. I was in bed for eight hours and awake for four. I called the surgery for an appointment and was given one face to face with Dr Mullaney and a student. Urgent blood tests were arranged immediately after, with a report to arrive for the GP later in the day. I may receive a call that leads to a hospital stay. I'm dreading this. Hospital wards are such a stress inducing environment, my blood pressure is bound to rise and more aggressive medication foisted upon me to bring it down. Another vicious cycle. Having run out of oral re-hydration tablets, I bought sachets at the pharmacy on my way home. I have an acupuncture appointment tomorrow lunchtime, and will try and delay going into hospital until I've had a treatment.

Clare made a veggie curry for lunch. Owain also had some with the portion of pasta he cooked last night. I rested for a while afterwards then walked a circuit of Llandaff Fields for an hour and a half to complete today's step quota. I saw Richard our park's rubbish collecting hero and we chatted, as we often do if we meet when the Fields are looking clean and tidy. I poured out my woes to him. He's a sympathetic listener.

Just after five Dr Mullaney called. This morning's blood test information hadn't arrived, so no conclusion has been reached over whether I need to be hospitalised or not. Also no conclusion about what is going on in my body. It's a matter of record now, that my kidneys are suffering and not working properly, but there's no proposal or plan about how to address this. Tomorrow I have an acupuncture appointment at lunchtime, which I can keep in the meanwhile. I'm relieved about this, confident it will do me good. If I do have to go into hospital later, it will help me get through the ordeal.

Owain returned to Bristol at the end of his working day, in which his team seems to have been rehearsing how they will deal with the volume of new website information they will have to deal with after next Tuesday's budget speech. I'm so glad he was able to change my Microsoft account login details, and brief me about starting a new broadband supply deal. It's lovely having him around the house and sharing meals with him occasionally. He's been helpful with shopping too. As I've been feeling poorly again the last few days, his support has been invaluable.

I decided to drink less water and tea than usual this afternoon and evening so there's less fluid for the diuretic effect of the meds to flush out of my system. I'll keep a cup of water by my bedside and add an oral re-hydration sachet to it, and sip from it when I wake up to pee with the aim of replacing salts which the meds are leaching out of my body during the night. After a light supper I sat and dozed. A celebrity archaeology programme was on, showcasing the excavation of a Roman fort on Hadrian's wall. It was fairly interesting but not much helped along by constantly chuckling women of a certain age, expressing amazement rather than curiosity. Rather dreary in my opinion. I wish I could have dozed off completely, but apprehension about what sort of night awaits me crept in and made me unsettled.