Repair Cafe

It's slightly warmer today, but overcast. A heat wave is approaching from southern Europe and the threat of extreme heat is being talked about in the news. I noticed the air temperature gradually rise during the afternoon as the cloud lifted and dispersed.

I had a good night's sleep with fewer disturbances than I'm used to, and felt the benefit from that with a clear head and sharper senses until the clot dispersal meds took effect and robbed me of the improvement. How come the medicine that's meant to reduce the risk of something really serious happening actually makes you feel worse?

After breakfast we went to Chapter Arts centre with three pairs of garden shears for sharpening at a busy session of the Repair Cafe Wales in the foyer. A team of volunteers register people sort out their requests and direct them to other volunteers with expertise at diagnosing and fixing things which no longer work, whether mechanical, electrical or a combination of both. Some items can be fixed by soldering a broken connection or replacing a readily available component. Others are unfixable, fit only for recycling. It's a great public service, run by skilled enthusiasts and people concerned about the environmental impact of waste generated by industrial society. 

A taciturn guy called Dave took our sets of shears outdoors to where an electric grinding wheel was set up for sharpening. The secateurs he sharpened by hand with a suitably tool. It reminded me of watching my father sharpening his garden shears when I was a boy. He had tools to use for maintaining his own equipment and the skills to use them. A few of these are still there in our domestic tool kit, a small family legacy. To my shame, I doubt I have the skill or experience to use them properly, let alone the confidence.

Clare cooked lunch while I was out. I walked for an hour  afterwards. I was charmed by a little girl as she rode ahead of her mother singing to herself "I'm riding in the park!" It reminded me of moments like that with our children at the same age. 

Since I last walked down to the end of the camp site nearest the cricket stadium, a large Holm Oak has been brought down by the wind, blocking the path. Alongside the Pontcanna Fields boundary wall is an avenue of these trees. A few others have shed large branches in recent years, probably weakened by spells of drought. They are heavy limbed evergreen trees, that flourish around the Mediterranean. They produce acorns and are quick to colonise any place where they are transported, making them an invasive species.

We had a long chat with Rachel on WhatsApp after supper. She's recently started doing gigs as a wedding singer recently, an interesting musical challenge. We're looking forward to her coming over to celebrate our diamond wedding and Clare's 81st birthday.

Ships passed through the Straight of Hormuz again today. Then Iran declared its closure in response to Israel bombing Southern Lebanon despite the cease-fire declared between Israel and Hezbollah. Contradictory messages are coming from America and Iran about what's happening on the ground. Trump meddles in a situation over which he has no control, declaring America will charge a 'guardian angel' toll to escort ships through the Straight. America hasn't delivered the change his warmongering promised, only stiffened Iranian resolve to resist. Peace talks continue in Switzerland, but can progress be possible while the situation in Lebanon is volatile and so violent as to cause outrage and non-cooperation from Iran?

The Israeli government is hostile to deal making going on, as it's considered to make concessions to Iran. Netanyahu is uncompromising in his determination to defeat Iran and destroy its power, contemptuous of diplomacy to end the war. Strikes by Iran and Hezbollah on Israel feed a national sense of insecurity. Netanyahu's resistance to appeals by Trump asserts that America doesn't call the tune in Israel's war. His extreme aggressive stance towards Iran and Hezbollah promotes himself as Israel's defender. As long as he's considered electable he avoids prosecution for corruption. He is motivated to be awkward in dealing with those he entered into an alliance with.

Meanwhile, Andy Burnham Mayor of Manchester, has been elected as MP for Makerfield with a majority big enough to see off all the right wing contenders. He's had a lot of political exposure in this past few months as a potential Prime Minister. Media criticism of Sir Keir Starmer has moved parliamentary Labour party colleagues to call for his resignation and effectively promote Burnham instead. He is popular and charismatic as a regional leader, though nobody knows how well he is likely to perform given the complexities of national leadership. The public, however, are unlikely to forget how these MPs deal with each other and switch loyalties pragmatically if not cynically. 

Slow motion

It's good to see more blue sky than cloud to start the day. I slept well again, though I'm slow to get going, even if I'm alert, as the medication seems to blunt my reactions and compels caution as a self protective instinct. The more sleep I get, the less worse I feel, but I'm still awake for two hours a night, emptying my bladder, not because I drink excessive amounts of liquid but my body is eliminating the irritating by-product of medication. It impairs quality of life, that's for sure. Clare's inflamed hip muscle is still painful, taking its time to settle down.

I didn't feel like going out this morning, so I started work on another Morning Prayer and Reflection. Then I made a savoury veg and canelli bean dish for lunch, and afterwards went to Tesco's to buy weekend groceries. Quite a heavy load to carry home slow and steady. We're both in slow motion today. I walked in Llandaff Fields before supper under an overcast sky. So disappointing when we're so close to the longest day.

Urged by Trump, Israel and Hezbollah agreed to a cease-fire, in order not to endanger peace talks between America and Iran. Israel still occupies south Lebanon, and striking targets in response to attacks after the cease fire was meant to start. Relationships between Netanyahu and Trump are even further strained. Israel resents being told what to do, and pushes back against American pressure to restrain its lethal response. Over 3,700 civilians have been killed in Lebanon in the past four months and a thousand killed in Gaza during the so-called cease-fire with Hamas. 

I daresay it's difficult to control Hezbollah units embedded in their own country when they are being hounded by the Israelis and not necessarily communicating well with their Iranian sponsors. The flare up in fighting has led to a meeting cancellation between America and Iran. For the moment marine traffic through the Straight of Hormuz is still flowing, blockaded Iranian ports are open, but there's no certainty this will continue as long as the impulse to retaliation and revenge by all parties to the conflict controls the magnitude of the chaos.

Pink clouds decorate the sky at sunset as I bring my day to a close.

Nuffield clinic visit

I slept fairly well, and thanks to Clare, usually getting up before me and phoning the surgery on my behalf I was given a mid morning appointment with Dr Dyban, in which I was able to discuss the impact of my medication regimen and how to mitigate this by spacing differently ones with combined side effects that affect my quality of life. She reported back to UHW cardiology that I had been too poorly to attend for the fitting of a 24/7 blood pressure monitor, due to the effect of the clot dispersal medication, just in case the letter I sent had not been read and noted. It was a good conversation with no added prescription to take away with me, just a suggestion to take the blood pressure medication after lunch. My head is fairly clear, even if my blood pressure is high. As long as I relax and don't drive myself hard when I exercise I won't be making things worse. My shoulder joints have improved since my physio session with Clive yesterday. The numbness and tingling in my left arm hasn't gone away but doesn't vary in intensity so much as it did, perhaps because there's less pressure on nerve endings from stiff muscles. The strained right shoulder isn't so painful either.

America and Iran have signed a peace deal, but Israel continues to attack Hezbollah targets in Lebanon despite the Memorandum of Understanding stating that Israel's occupation of Lebanon will not continue. Shipping may be moving through the Straight of Hormuz and the American blockade of Iranian ports may be lifted at the moment, but for how long? Israel isn't safe from attacks by Iran's allies whatever moves it makes. America and Israel did not succeed in sparking a successful revolt against the Iranian regime. The regime change they achieved resulted in a more hard line leadership, daring to resist Western might. 

Despite the destruction of much of its military hardware and infrastructure, Iran is still able to fire missiles at any American supporting Gulf state, and still holds the geographically strategic asset of the Straight of Hormuz. Leading Democrats assert that Trump didn't start the war with any plan of how it would end. Diplomatic negotiations are finally taking place, but America is now in a weaker position, having failed to think things through thoroughly, with Trump treating the whole affair like a deal making game show, relying on uncertainty, making things up as he goes along.

While I was out at the surgery Clare went shopping. I made a seafood paella for lunch on her return. It's the first time I've done that for a long while. My head was swimming, as is often the case late mornings, due to the impact of medication on my stomach. I feel better as soon as I start eating, but never feel hungry, just more light headed than usual. 

Once I added the mixture of fish pieces at the end of cooking the rice and veg, I 'irrigated' the paella with a generous dose of Sauvignon Blanc, as I didn't have a whole lemon to use. It tasted good. I allowed myself a glass to drink with lunch as well, thankfully without ill effect. It's pleasing to know I've not lost my touch in cooking one of my 'signature' dishes.

Again, I took my blood pressure pill after eating and noticed less ill effect than when I take it with the other meds in the morning. That's an encouraging finding confirming the value of Dr Dyban's suggestion.

Clare and I took a taxi to the Cardiff Bay Nuffield clinic at tea time for an appointment about her increasingly painful hip joint. Dr Mohenty the surgeon who did her hip replacement examined her and established that there was inflammation in the lining of a group of muscles at the top of the hip bone. He injected the area with a mixture of anti-inflammatory and anaesthetic drugs, and prescribed her more physiotherapy sessions. We missed a number nine bus that would have taken us to the bus interchange in the city centre, and ordered a taxi to take us home, just too late to hear 'The Archers' live, so we listened on BBC Sounds as we got supper ready.

I watched a couple of episodes of 'Panda', the rather eccentric downbeat family comedy detective series, with love stories, confusing to follow on times. I'm still not sure what to make of it. Lightweight escapist entertainment, observing relationships in a quirky way. And so to bed.

Election news

Another damp overcast day, but I had a good night's sleep, and posted today's YouTube Morning Prayer link to WhatsApp when I got up at nine. I went to the Eucharist at St Catherine's. There were a dozen of us this morning. I collected my medication prescription on the way home and cooked a savoury veg and tuna dish for lunch. Afterwards, Clare went to Peter for an acupuncture appointment and I went to Clive for an osteo-massage appointment. Somehow an element of chaos crept into the situation, starting with the fact that Clare had double booked herself for both. I took on her appointment with Clive as I was intending to have a treatment on my strained shoulder joint. So far so good. I turned up to his place, rang the bell but got no answer. I called him to check if I had the time right, got his answering machine and left a message explaining that something had gone wrong, then walked home. 

Half an hour later he called and offered me an appointment in half an hour's time. I retraced my steps, rang the bell and got no answer a second time. I realised something else must be wrong and called Clare again. Only then did I discover I had the incorrect house number in my appointment diary, and my Contacts file had no address for him at all! Anyway, this time he was expecting me, and gave me a treatment which was beneficial to both shoulders. His practice website is marked as closed. I think he may be winding down towards retirement and isn't taking any new clients.

When I returned I found Clare in bed. Her hip is giving her a lot of pain despite this afternoon's treatment. I took supper upstairs to her on a tray. I felt a bit nervous about doing this as I was feeling light headed, and a bit unsteady. Maybe it was just tiredness after quite a physical treatment. It's made a difference to my shoulders, that's for sure. Hopefully I'll feel better after another good night's sleep.

Traffic is moving through the Straight of Hormuz. Global oil reserves are critically low and will take months to replenish, also for the industrial economy as a whole to recover from shortages of other raw materials and export commodities. The US blockade on Iranian ports has  been lifted, and Iran has agreed to abandon its nuclear weapons programme. Negotiations about the destruction of its enriched uranium stocks overseen by the International Atomic Energy Agency will take place during the sixty day truce agreed in the 'Memorandum of Understanding' as the context for peace negotiations. Details are being slowly released, but it won't be signed until Friday. 

Things could still go wrong, and meanwhile Trump issues coercive threats to Iran to 'behave'. It's such foolish and demeaning talk when Iran has shown it still can close the Straights and perform retaliatory attacks to paralyse American supporting states in the Middle East. Uncertainty continues to prevail, as it has done for months.

The election of the Dean of Bangor Manon Ceidwen James as the next Bishop of Bangor was announced this evening. She was instrumental in the establishment of the St Padarn's Institute for ministerial training in the Church in Wales, the successor to St Michael's College in the same buildings in Llandaff. Following a troubled period in the life of Bangor Cathedral and Diocese she was appointed to help restore the Cathedral's reputation. She is now elected to the same role for the diocese, regarded as a safe pair of hands no doubt, entrusted to the sensitive task of rebuilding trust and confidence after a period of contention and dismay over the failure of leadership and erosion of authority in recent years.

Resilience

Another overcast and warm day. I failed to get a good night's sleep as painful trapped wind woke me up at first light. I took the platelet dispersal medication with breakfast and delayed taking the blood pressure pill to see what difference it made. Any time I don't get enough good sleep I expect to feel worse after taking all my meds. I was certainly aware this morning of how strong the ill effects of the former are, taken on its own. I took the blood pressure pill after lunch, and this didn't make me feel worse, just light headed with  thinking and senses less dulled than previously. 

I walked in Llandaff Fields for an hour. I saw a heron flying down the Taff and an egret wading near the weir. It's been a while since I've seen either bird and I was starting to wonder if they'd deserted us. A large tree trunk rests on the top edge of the weir. It was uprooted during winter storms and carried downstream when the Taff water level was very high. The water washed its roots clean of all soil within a short while of landing there. I thought it was dead and being leached of its sap by the water, but I noticed today that in several places on the trunk twigs have sprouted and bunches of young green leaves are flourishing. Such natural resilience!

When I got back home I slept in my arm chair for another hour. By supper time my head was even clearer. Rachel called. We chatted for an hour and a quarter on WhatsApp, and then it was time for bed.

Formalities relating to the truce between America and Iran will conclude with the Memorandum of Understanding due to be signed on Friday. Details of the content have not yet been released, much to the annoyance of Trump's critics. There's no clarity about how peace talks will work out. Trump is clear that Iran will not have nuclear weapons or the means to manufacture them. Details of the disposal of Iran's stock of enriched uranium are yet to be worked out fully, but at least the reinstatement of traffic through the Straight of Hormuz can proceed, provided that clearance of mines from the waterways can be achieved safely. Oil prices have dropped, and the price of related stocks has risen, but it will take time for the status quo ante to return. Trump has openly rebuked Netanyahu, as Israeli forces continue to bombard Beirut in its attempt to defeat Hezbollah. Iran regards this as violating the cease fire, adding continued uncertainty to a process overshadowed by mutual distrust.

Hormuz unblocked

Cloudy today, but warmer. I slept fairly well and woke up clear headed but that didn't last after taking my meds. The Prime Minister has announced a ban on social media for children under sixteen, in the light of the established harmful effects of addictive algorithms on young minds. It's about time this happened in my opinion. Every aspect of internet communication is capable of being exploited to hijack attention and make money from information gleaned about our interests and concerns. We're being manipulated by programming technology over which we have little control and even less accountability. 

AI puts us all at even greater risk of unforeseen unintended consequences from erroneous information and deliberate falsehoods. The spread of disinformation via 'fake news' on social media to deliver propaganda and  stir up unrest is already playing a part in cyber warfare. Recently a research team demonstrated the danger, planting fictional medical information with nonsensical citations from fake source material. It was picked up by AI bots and presented as authoritative without question. Painstaking verification of authentic data takes time, and the poison of misinformation spread by the internet can be potentially damaging and even dangerous meanwhile.

Iran and America signed the 'Memorandum of Understanding' agreement in Geneva, the immediate result of which will be the opening of the Straight of Hormuz to maritime traffic and the blockade of Iranian oil exporting ports will end. There will be a sixty day truce during which peace negotiations will take place, but there is little detail about what the talks are intended to achieve.

An estimated 750 ships are still trapped there since the war started with an estimated 20,000 seafarers between them. The agreement is being declared as a win for both sides. Iran has demonstrated its power to resist American might. Trump claims he's delivered a solution to a problem which his foolish ill-judged and very costly aggression caused. Israel's occupation of southern Lebanon continues and Hezbollah targets in Beirut are being bombed despite the the cease-fire. Will this 'Memorandum of Understanding' make it possible for a cease-fire to take hold and stabilise the situation? It remains to be seen.

Clare wanted to turn the big mattress on the double bed this morning and asked for my help. It turned out to be much more difficult than anticipated. The weakness of my strained right shoulder and aged muscles made heavy lifting too risky. We had to settle for turning the mattress around on its vertical axis instead of flipping it over horizontally. I hate getting old and losing the ability to do things I once took in my stride! When my brain clouds over with fatigue or the impact of medication, I notice how my cognitive function slows down. I make more typos, and when it's really poor, stop what I'm doing completely out of caution against making mistakes. It slows down anything I'm trying to get done, although my mind seems to continue to work at its usual pace, disconnected from the exterior world.

We had chickpea curry for lunch. I dozed in my armchair after eating, then walked for over an hour to clear my head. Clare had supper early and went out to choir practice. I watched a couple of episodes of 'Panda' and after that got ready for another early night.

Geneva in lockdown

A good night's sleep, waking up clear headed and refreshed to sunshine and warmer weather. After breakfast and taking the meds my head went foggy again. Is it something to do with the combined effect of the different drugs? I went to St Catherine's for the Parish Eucharist, while Clare and Kath went into town to check out a venue to hold our Diamond Wedding anniversary family feast. 

This afternoon, we had a phone call from our dear friend Gill Howie in Geneva to tell us she's moved into a retirement home in Grand Sacconnex. It's the first time we've spoken for a year. She couldn't get through to exchange greetings with us last Christmas because of the mess TalkTalk made of transferring our phone number to British Telecom. She said there'd only been an on-line service at Holy Trinity Geneva today as Geneva is on lock-down due to Trump's visit with the expectation of potentially violent protest against the war. 

Just as the cease fire was due to be signed between America and Iran in Geneva, Israel bombed Hezbollah targets in Lebanon again despite the ceasefire supposed to be in effect there. Inevitably this will delay the conclusion of the negotiations Trump has been touting for months. Trump has openly urged Netanyahu  not to attack Lebanon at this pivotal moment, but is he being listened to? A former Israeli ambassador to the USA expressed the view that Trump's annoyance with Israel reveals his recognition that Netanyahu is trying to undermine him. Whether it's true or not, it suggests he's not taking Trump seriously and misled him into making an alliance against Iran that has not delivered the success anticipated. Iran has emerged from the war stronger and more emboldened, while Israel now faces a less favourable regional balance It sounds to me like a retired diplomat speaking who disapproves of his country's leadership.

Kath left us for Kenilworth after lunch. Clare and I went to the Co-op to buy some coffee and kefir as we'd run out of both this morning. Then I walked in Llandaff Fields until supper time and resisting the temptation to watch telly, I got ready for bed early. 

Kath for the weekend

It seems I need to be in bed and ready for sleep before ten, just after sunset at the moment, to be sure of a good night's sleep.  First light is just before five at the moment, and the sky is often bright so I've taken to wearing a blindfold early morning in an attempt to prolong sleep time. Clare was up before me cooking breakfast pancakes. It takes me an hour or so for my head to clear, wake up properly and get on with the day. Sometimes it takes much longer. The morning just ebbs away with little achieved.

Details of the peace deal between America and Iran are being revealed, but Israel continues bombing Hezbollah targets in Lebanon, America again exchanges fire with Iran in the blockaded Straight of Hormuz. Trump keeps promoting promised progress. Is there any substance to his assertions? Trump claims there will be a signing tomorrow, but the Iranians are reluctant to commit, resisting Trump's efforts to control the narrative, which he's been trying to do from the outset. Damage to the American economy due to paralysis of trade through the Straight of Hormuz is resulting in American opposition to the war increasing and unpopularity for Trump whose cheerleader tactics further undermine his credibility.

Kath arrived at lunchtime, having spent last night catching up with her friend Emma. We had lunch in the sunshine under the garden umbrella. Then Clare and Kath went to see a dance performance at Chapter Arts, while I walked in Llandaff and Pontcanna Fields in a vain effort to clear my foggy head with fresh air. We had delicious swordfish steaks for supper. I risked drinking a glass of red Bordeaux wine to go with it, the first wine I've drunk since Christmas. I enjoyed the taste, and am crossing my fingers that it won't mess with my digestion tonight. I walked for half an hour after the meal, then we spent the rest of the evening chatting and planning the celebration of our diamond wedding when the family gathers for our sixtieth anniversary on the sixth of August. It's hard to grasp that we've been together that long - actually it's sixty three years since we met. Am I really that old? The answer is yes. These days I need to go to bed so much earlier, even before sunset, and suffer if I don't.

Truce talks announcement

Another dull overcast day. I woke up at first light and heard the garden blackbird singing. I benefited from getting to bed earlier somehow, but was awake for three hours  out of nearly eleven in bed. Bladder and bowel irritation in the night is inescapable and daunting. The impact of medication after I get up makes it hard to get started. Even if I don't feel tired, my senses are dulled, reactions slow, I'm not fully alert. I find it unnerving.

Artist David Hockney has died. His varied body of creative work embracing photography, stained glass, theatre design and painting invites people to notice things and see them in a new light. It's one the most important contributions any creative person can make. It's no wonder he has enjoyed popular acclaim.

Trump has called off strikes on Iran, claiming yet again that a peace deal to extend the cease fire and open the Straight of Hormuz is imminent. During the day, Pakistani mediators confirmed an agreement has been reached. Possibly this will be signed in Geneva while the G7 summit takes place in nearby Evian. That would be a suitably theatrical occasion for Trump to claim success. Israel's assault on Hezbollah in Lebanon continues unabated. If Netanyahu ignored Trump's calls for restraint, Iran would persist with retaliatory strikes against Israel, halting peace talks again. Netanyahu is facing criticism at home for doing Trump's bidding, as well as open criticism of his unilateral actions from Trump himself. It remains to be seen whether a 'memorandum of understanding' setting the agenda for future talks, will help de-escalate the situation or do anything to bring Israeli occupation of Lebanon to an end.

This evening we went to Chapter Arts centre for the launch of Diana Morgan's new book 'Sojourn with Ice Cream, the second in a trilogy she's writing about an elderly widow who is an intuitive listener to others in need of quiet understanding and support. She spoke about her main character and read passages to her audience. Several people were present whom we have as mutual friends.

Thankfully my head was fairly clear. We were home again by nine, and aiming for another early night.

Xenophobia

Overcast with light rain all morning after a cold damp night. It's quite unlike summer. I had a poor night's sleep in which it took longer to settle back into sleep due to the chill in the air after getting up hourly to empty my bladder. After breakfast I took my morning medications, returned to bed with my senses dulled, and slept until midday. Clare went out shopping and when she returned just before one, we made lunch together with frozen veg, couscous and cod.

Following a violent knife attack in North Belfast made by a Sudanese refugee, there have been two nights of racially motivated riots with the homes of ethnic minority people set alight and police officers injured. Behind the mob of angry masked men terrifying citizens, social media exchanges have turned complaints and protest toxic. People wind each other up into rage, due to media algorithms that highlight and spread negative views amplifying anxiety felt when violence occurs in their neighbourhood. Vigilante groups set themselves up to 'take action'. Trust and good will between those in authority, responsible for maintaining public security, stability and community health, and the majority of citizens, is being eroded by anxious often angry criticism from those who think they know better, but only know what social media feeds them. Mixed communities of Republicans and Unionists in Northern Ireland learned to organise themselves in self defence against each other during the Troubles. Now innocent black people and Ukrainian refugees are persecuted as if they were all foreigners, due to the ability of social media to track people.

There are always difficulties when people of different cultures and ethnicity live alongside each other, but resentment against immigrants and refugees is being politicised in Britain by those wanting to blame anyone but themselves for society's failings. Learning to live together with our differences is a moral and spiritual challenge of the highest order, especially if we don't have faith or culture in common.  Resistance to making an effort to be compassionate and hospitable neighbours to strangers leads to people to avoid each other under the pretence of  'live and let live'. The feeling that differences are threatening can easily be distorted into xenophobia with evil consequences. 

Social division for whatever reason, undermines the unity of Britain at a time when threats to security from Russia and Iran are of increasing concern. Trump's contempt for NATO allies  adds to European vulnerability. Government prevarication over defence spending is a bone of political contention in the context of rising costs of health and social care. Britain is failing to generate adequate wealth to match expenditure needs. It's a phenomenally complex situation during a period of radical change when there's a debilitating war going on in the Middle East. No wonder it's taking time to make sustainable decisions in the national interest. The Prime Minister's leadership is under challenge, but would a new leader really make that much of a difference? For the moment, the restoration of law and order at home must be a top priority, along with finding remedies that counter the toxicity of social media, and nurture good will. I just wish that Trump and his acolytes would keep their ill informed comments to themselves instead of making things worse for all who are victimised by the opinion of others.

Mid-afternoon I walked for an hour in the drizzle, choosing a route that would minimise gusts of wind driving rain from west to avoid getting completely soaked. Much needed fresh air and exercise didn't clear my head or sharpen my senses altogether so I went out and walked again after supper and ended up getting ready for bed early.

Forgotten pole

Despite rain in the night, a bright sunny start to today.  I posted today's Morning Prayer YouTube link to WhatsApp just after eight, before getting up for breakfast. There were a dozen of us at St Catherine's for the Eucharist celebrating St Ephrem. This prompted me to remember my brief sojourn and encounter with Syriac Orthodoxy in the Metropolitan Cathedral of St George in Aleppo thirty two years ago. 

Ephrem was a deacon and hymnodist ministering to refugees driven west by the Persians from Edessa in the fourth century. His lyrics meditated on the mysteries of the incarnation and redemption expounding poetically on the teachings of the Nicene Creed. 

When Syriac Christians were persecuted and driven out of Turkey in the early twentieth century, the community exiled from Edessa settled in Aleppo, one of Syria's oldest and largest cities. It's tragic that resistance to the Assad regime in the Syrian civil war resulted in extensive destruction and thirty one thousand deaths. There was an earthquake in 2023 but reconstruction was under way already. Due to persecution, diaspora communities of Syriac Christians thrive in America, Sweden and Germany. The Indian state of Kerala has had an indigenous Syriac Christian church community since the fourth century, arising from trading links between Mesapotamia and the western coast of India. It's a remarkable history of resilience and vitality stretching back fifteen centuries.

We had lunch at midday today as Clare had an early acupuncture appointment. Falafel balls, sweet corn and spinach, an unusual lightweight combination. I followed up with a stodgy custard doughnut left over  from yesterday to fill the gap. Then I did a circuit of Thompson's Park to see how the juvenile moorhens are getting on. Several motor driven lawn mowers were busy filling the air with the scent of cut grass. The noise of the machines was inescapable, robbing the park of its usual peace. Then I went down to Tesco's to buy chamomile tea bags. At the junction of Romilly and Llandaff Roads is a corner house with a hedge of beautifully scented white lilac bushes, thanks to the recent warm and wet weather, now overgrown. Again more noise as a couple of guys with motor driven hedge trimmers cut back the luxuriant growth robbing them of their beauty and most of their scent - until they re-grow. Clare was having a flute lesson when I got home, and being complemented for making progress in producing a good consistent sound.

After her lesson, Clare went out shopping. When she returned, she was in a panic, as she left the house with her walking pole and returned without it, having visited two local branches of the Co-op in search of frozen food items. She parked her pole next to the freezer while extracting what she wanted to buy and left the pole behind, but in which store, she couldn't remember. Walking back without the pole was painful and exhausting, so I went to both, a circuit of about a mile, and retrieved it from the second one. What a relief!

After supper I finished editing the Morning Prayer audio for the Office of St John the Baptist's Day, and made the video slide show, then uploaded it to YouTube. 

There have been more exchanges of fire between America and Iran today. An American helicopter was shot down in the Straight of Hormuz and there have been more Iranian strikes on US Middle Eastern bases, breaching the ceasefire and halting negotiations. Trump has returned to threatening more strikes on Iran, to pressurise Iran into resuming talks. The Iranians and their allies are bound to retaliate. Trump's bullying tactics and lack of strategic clarity have resulted in his inability to gain control of the situation. He really is the 'elephant in the room' trashing relationships between Middle Eastern states and the West. How much longer can he retain authority by making a mess of everything he turns his hand to? And why do so many Americans trust their fortunes to him and his false promises?

My Madeleine moment

I had a good night's sleep, although I woke up for no reason I can think of at first light, and was awake for an hour before dozing off again. Sunshine with clouds driven by wind from the west. My head was clear when I got up but after breakfast and medication, it was as if my brain clouded over. Clare went off to her study group and I stayed in as we expected a lunchtime delivery of a convertible chair bed. It didn't turn up until gone three. I occupied myself with recording and editing a reflection for St John the Baptist's Day, I  cooked lunch with a foggy brain and mis-timed the baked potatoes and the frozen beans. It wasn't my best effort, but not quite a disaster either.

Two men arrived in a large white delivery van and carried several large cardboard boxes in, containing the components of the chair bed. They unpacked it and then had to work out how to assemble it from a sheet of instructions. Then it was a matter of working out the best place to put it in the front room that already contains a smallish three piece suite. The bay window seemed the best place. Book cases and telly needed repositioning. The chair's furnishing fabric is the same as the three piece suite. The shape is different, but the most important thing is that it's comfortable, and there's no problem about converting the chair into a bed that fits in the length of the room. The delivery men worked quietly and did a good job, having driven from Swindon, but they were finished by four with an hour's return drive ahead of them. They even took the cardboard boxes away with them. Tomorrow is our rubbish and recycling collection day. I was relieved not to have to deal with them.

Putting the bins out was my chore for the day. Then I walked to the Coop to buy almond milk. I spotted a discounted pack of doughnuts stuffed with custard and bought them for sentimental reasons. Sixty years ago, the year we graduated and got married, I was a night shift worker in a bakery at the bottom of Ashley Hill in St Paul's Bristol, putting trays of bread into a conveyor belt oven and removing scalding hot at the other end. I didn't get to fry the doughnuts, but injected jam into them when freshly cooked, dip them in sugar and put them in rows on a tray, ready for packaging. When I looked at the custard filled version I ate with a cup of tea, there was a hole in the side of the bun where the injection nozzle had been inserted, only this time to deliver custard not jam, probably in an automated process these days. Such a vivid memory, my equivalent to Proust's 'Madeleine moment'. I also remembered how tired I was at four in the morning, tired enough to fall asleep at the injection machine for long enough to cover the outside of the doughnut with jam, not the inside, and being teased by Italian migrant shift workers from whom I learned a few of their swear words, well before I learned any Italian.

I went out and walked again in Llandaff Fields after supper remembering the night bakery. I recall on one occasion removing a freshly baked loaf from the conveyor belt. It was scalding hot. I couldn't hold it and dashed it to the floor in a fit of temper. One of the Italians reproached me in a half mocking way and said in broken English. "Eeet's no way to treat the body of Christ." I think I may have told him that when I finished University I was going to train to be a priest. The fresh air cleared my head somewhat, though not entirely. It's so frustrating.

Israel launched deadly attacks on the ancient city of Tyre this morning. The UN Secretary General Antonio Gutierrez insists that cease-fires in Iran, Lebanon and Gaza must be respected. Netanyahu's actions are in contempt of cease-fire agreements. nine hundred have been killed in Gaza during the cease-fire. He clearly isn't listening to anyone but the extremists in his own government. Border crossings into Gaza have been closed, no humanitarian aid can be delivered. This makes it even more difficult for America and Iran to complete a peace deal. Retaliation by Iran against Israeli attacks on Lebanon boosts the determination of Iranian hard line military leaders to take more risks and escalate the conflict. Iran still controls the Straight of Hormuz, Bab al Mandeb and the flow of maritime traffic, determined to make users pay for it.

Unfamiliarity in a familiar place

The return of blue sky and sunshine this morning after what felt to me like a cold night of broken sleep. It left me tired and muddle headed, struggling to collect information from bank statements to use on my tax return. Clare cooked salmon and veg for lunch. Afterwards I went to the Kings Road pharmacy to order my next prescription medications in good time, and collected Clare's, which was handed to me confirming her name without needing to be asked. The assistant probably saw us together in the pharmacy before and remembered our names! That's nice.

I set out from there to visit the city centre and managed to miss two 61 buses in succession by walking and standing in between two different bus service stops, aiming to catch the first that arrived. I wasn't at all alert this morning. I went to Santander Bank to ask for a copy of my certificate of taxed interest earned, and was told about a new credit card issue which has no account fee and offers cashback. I'm not a fan of credit cards and would rather do without the one we have, except that using it for on-line purchases does offer a degree of extra security. I'm less of a fan of digital commerce than I was as an early adopter of new technology at the turn of the century. It's the impact mild visual impairment has had on me, that I now find the intense concentration required to deal with numbers on-screen leaves me distrustful of my perception. Despite years of habitual use I feel like I'm in foreign territory. So I do as little as possible unless I can get someone to check what I do. 

It's strange that this doesn't apply in the same way to writing text. I never learned proper touch typing and make typos thanks to my poor level of accuracy. It's always worse when I'm tired and stressed. But writing doesn't make me feel unsure of myself. Maybe correction of typos and spelling errors calls on an area of memory which remains relatively fast, exhaustion permitting,

The experience of  shopping in town is the same. I know where I am and have no problem recognising and remembering places, navigating my way to them but it doesn't change the feeling that I'm in an unfamiliar place. I worked for eight years in the city centre and know the area very well. Memories of experiences of the place return somewhat slowly, but the feeling of being there as if for the first time still prevails. It's an experience I associate with becoming familiar with the streets of a new city when I'm on holiday or living there on locum duty.

I returned home on a 61 bus in time for tea and a slice of lemon cheesecake. Despite necessary care over consuming dairy products, just in case they upset my digestion, I've found that I can enjoy this without consequences. Clare went out to choir practice, and I went out for a walk in Llandaff Fields enjoying the evening sunshine, while listening to 'I'm sorry I haven't a clue' and 'The Archers' on my phone. 

Israel's recent strikes on Lebanon in its war on Hezbollah resulted in Iran firing ballistic missiles at Israel undermining cease fire-talks and threatening further and wider escalation of the conflict. Iran's attacks on Israel have ceased but will resume if Israel continues striking Lebanon. Iran's allies are able to halt traffic in Bab al Mandeb the gateway between the Mediterranean and the Indian Ocean, and the Straight of Hormuz.

Trump called on both sides to stop firing at each other, and return to negotiations, but is anyone listening to him? He was backed by Netanyahu when he started waging war with Iran, and it hasn't worked the way they presumed it would. Trump is openly angry that Netanyahu is waging war in Lebanon without regard for the conflict escalating, or for jeopardizing peace talks between America and Iran. It seems that Pakistan's diplomatic efforts at mediation have made progress. All this could be lost in the volatile and sensitive situation surrounding marine traffic through the Straight of Hormuz. America and Israel have the military power to enforce but not the wisdom and foresight to master a situation in which their adversaries hold essential territory and waterways which cannot be taken from them without making things worse for everyone.

Both Trump and Netanyahu are unpopular because of the impact of the war on their countries they cannot bring to an end, politically or diplomatically at the moment. Iran has survived regime change and is united in determined resistance to Western powers, likewise Hezbollah in Lebanon, both sustained by Shi'a Islamic spirituality. It seems to me that despite Iran's cruel and tyrannical regime, the people's strength and resilience has been underestimated by the West from the start.

Time now for early bed. I wish this would result in a better quality of sleep. I have suffered brain fatigue for most of the day.

Nobody is winning, some are profiting

Another overcast day with occasional drizzle, still feeling tired after an average night's disturbed sleep. We went to the Eucharist at St Catherine's. Sunday Club is back in session so the congregation was back to its usual size with forty adults and a dozen lively children. 

Clare's prosthetic hip joint was giving her pain, as it does when she stands after sitting for a while. The design and positioning of the pews too close together leaves only a narrow gap at floor level. On stepping out of the pew  It's necessary to manoeuvre carefully to get into the aisle without tripping.  I find this difficult, but it's harder for Clare as the required movement proved very painful. She needed support to walk to the altar. Sheila noticed her limping and kindly gave her a lift home. I stayed a little longer then walked back. Clare had started cooking by the time I arrived. I was grateful for this as I wasn't feeling well, lacking in energy. I slept for half an hour after lunch, then walked in Llandaff Fields for an hour. The light rain forecast for this afternoon didn't materialise.

Israel continues to pursue Hezbollah, attacking its strongholds in Southern Lebanon and Beiruit suburbs. No progress has been made on peace talks between Israel and Lebanon. Iran is firing missiles at Israeli targets. Israel's air defences may prevent most drones and missiles from hitting their targets, but air raid warnings are issued by mobile phone urging people to shelter from falling shrapnel as well as from drones and missiles which may get through. Palestinian mobile network SIMs to not receive these warnings only Israeli ones. Gaza and the West Bank are left vulnerable to attacks, whether successful or failed. but not Israeli settlers. Does Iran know or care about the consequences of its retaliations?

Ceasefire talks between America and Iran are still at a stalemate, and no wonder as Iran and America are exchanging fire in the Straight of Hormuz. It's now a hundred days since Trump's vain threats to topple the Iranian regime turned into what is in effect an undeclared war of questionable legality. The regime hasn't fallen and the consequences have been far reaching for the global economy and the whole Middle East. Trump came to power promising Americans "no more forever wars". His inconsistent and unpredictable leadership is delivering the opposite. Nobody is really winning apart from those profiting from armament sales and high unstable oil prices

Bed even earlier tonight to combat accumulated fatigue.

Sluggish system

Overcast with drizzle again this morning. I didn't sleep as well as I hoped I would. Shoulder pain made it difficult to get comfortable and settle. No Saturday breakfast pancakes today, as Clare was focused on her trip with Gail to the Steiner school year end gathering for leaving students. I recorded and edited Morning Prayer and Reflection for two Wednesdays hence as I had the house to myself. I need to plan ahead as I can never be certain how well I'll feel to do this at short notice. It's consolation for not preaching these days and I enjoy preparing and writing Reflections. 

 I made the video slide show and uploaded it to YouTube, then it was lunch time. As I was on my own, and didn't know when Clare was due to return. Assuming she was going to eat at school, I steamed potatoes and cauliflower and opened a can of tuna for an improvised lunch. I fell asleep in my armchair after eating. Later Clare arrived home and cooked herself an omelette. If only I'd known I could have cooked for both of us.

It was dull overcast and windy, when I walked for an hour and a half in Llandaff Fields at tea time. It's not at all like summer. When I checked my distance on the Google Health phone app it forced an elaborate security check on me to establish who I really was, using the Fitbit Versa and new software I didn't ask for and isn't as user friendly was the app it replaced. I've started coming across complaints on-line about the functionality and accuracy of Google Health. It feels more like a work in progress than a reliable asset. 

The security checks convey the impression that Android and Google are insecure about device ownership. The phone unlocks now with either a pin code or face recognition which is irritatingly slow and erratic in action. I've noticed the Android operating system is getting slower as time goes on. Background internet calls to send or receive all kinds of data automatically, essential or not, plus additional reliance on AI, mean an increased volume of data traffic makes demands on processing power and connectivity. The phone runs warmer sometimes and the battery doesn't last as long. No matter how powerful it is, traffic congestion is going to slow the device down.

We had a call from Rachel. Her cat Zeek is sick, maybe dying from toxins in their urban environment. It's upsetting for her, as Zeek is a communicative creature who likes company, except that now he disappears into neighbourhood gardens, and Rachel doesn't know if she'll see him again. She's planning to return to Cardiff to celebrate our diamond wedding in August, despite the uncertainty surrounding flight reliability and costs due to the war.

Middle Eastern peace talks seem to be getting nowhere. America attacks Iranian vessels blockaded in the Straight of Hormuz, and Iran launches missile and drones at US bases in Bahrain and Kuwait. Trump is facing increasing opposition to his policies. In the House of Representatives some Republicans joined the Democrats in passing a measure that seeks to halt moves by Trump to take further military action in Iran. It puts pressure on the Trump administration to find an end to the war, as US economic damage becomes more evident with rising prices. Trump's White House ballroom vanity project spending is likely to be obstructed by Congress, another sign of disapproval. A poor result for Republicans in mid-term elections could put even more pressure on him to change policy or lose support completely.

In the light of recent successful drone strikes on facilities in the St Petersburg area, Ukraine's President Zelenskyy has called on Putin to engage with him in talks. Putin has dismissed the invitation, but it may be seen as an embarrassment, implying that Putin's war hasn't achieved subjugation of Ukraine, despite the loss of life and cost to the Russian economy. Ukraine is demonstrating its ability to hit long range targets and inflict strategic damage to the Russian economy, as well as striking Moscow, something that's bound to unsettle Putin's loyal supporters. Each day I wake up wondering what's going to happen next. I hope and pray these foolish tyrants realise it's not in their best interests to continue waging war and consider an exit strategy from their futile acts of aggression. 

One small step

An overcast day with occasional rain showers. Another good night's sleep - two in a row! Admittedly I did feel sleepy for much of the morning, but not as poorly as I have done often in past months. After breakfast I made the Morning Prayer video slide-show and posted it to YouTube. Clare went out and I cooked pasta with the veggie chick pea dish for lunch when she returned. I slept soundly for another three quarters of an hour after we'd eaten. When I woke up an email invoice arrived from Dwr Cymru. My head was clear and my focus was sharp. I set about paying the bill online immediately and completed the process with neither hesitation nor apprehension. After the stroke with its associated trauma, I lost confidence in my ability to make digital transactions. This is the first occasion for me not to feel anxious or nervous about doing this. Kudos to Dwr Cymru for producing a clear user friendly website to facilitate this small step in recovery!

After supper Clare and I watched a BBC documentary about the foundation of the world's greatest science teamwork project, the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in the Pays de Gex. As Chaplain at Holy Trinity in Geneva I ministered to a congregation, many of whom worked at CERN most of their adult lives. What a privilege that was! I remember a guided tour of the installation when it was still a work in progress, but didn't recognise anyone in news footage showing some of the world's top scientists celebrating the finding for the Higgs Boson back in the day.

I spent the rest of the evening writing a biblical reflection to go with Morning Prayer in two weeks time and then it was already time for bed.

Check-up

The sky is filled with clouds on the move again today, with occasional glimpses of sunshine and the threat of rain. I slept quite well, despite irritation of my bladder and bowels robbing me of rest, leading to diarrhea and a miserable start to the day yet again. It's not due to a bug but to the impact of clot dispersal drugs on my digestive system. It's always worse if my diet has been protein rich. Heaven knows why.

After breakfast I went to the GP surgery for blood and blood pressure tests and a urine sample as well. I'm losing so much fluid at night, despite drinking a pint of water to compensate, my veins aren't easy for the phlebotomist to access and it took two separate attempts to draw blood. My blood pressure is very high. It's not surprising given the shock my digestive system is subjected to. My senses are dulled, thinking and reactions are lethargic. To recover, I have to rest though I'm not really tired, but feeling incoherent. Clare cooked lunch, and after more rest I made an effort to walk in Llandaff Fields for over an hour. There was a strong wind again. It cleared my head somewhat and boosted my energy. 

When I arrived home, Clare was out having an acupuncture and massage treatment. Her repaired hip joint is painful, and cause for concern. Why this should be happening has yet to be diagnosed. My concentration was good enough to record and edit the audio for next week's Morning Prayer. 

I spent the evening watching a couple of episodes of 'Les Invisibles', the French crimmie set in Lille. The series is about a team of detectives that focuses on identifying murder victims about whom nothing is known. The predominant accent of the characters is that of north eastern France, and is less familiar than the accents of the Midi, Paris or the Alps often heard in TV dramas, glimpsing the sub-titles to check what saw said was more necessary than usual.

Creative defence

I woke up at half past eight  to the sound of hammering and the whine of an electric screwdriver from the loft conversion work next door but one. Then the sound of torrential rain, which sounded like someone was spraying the bedroom window. I had a good night's sleep despite the usual disruptions nevertheless, but I didn't feel much benefit from it. When I was preparing to post today's Morning Prayer YouTube link to the Parish WhatsApp group, I noticed a typo in the title. I couldn't figure out how to edit this on my phone, so I got up and corrected it on my Chromebook before posting.

Despite the sun shining through the clouds, there was a drizzle of rain when I walked to St Catherine's for the Eucharist, and a downpour when I set out for home afterwards. There were eight of us this morning. Jean spotted that my face was drained of colour and asked if I was all right. I admitted that I wasn't. The clot dispersing medication I take upsets my bowels badly from time to time and drains me of energy. I didn't realise it was noticeable to others.

Clare cooked fish for lunch. I had a siesta afterwards, then went for an hour's walk in Llandaff Fields. It was very windy, but it didn't rain again, and I didn't feel so unsteady on my feet as I did earlier in the day. 

Despite peace talks in the Middle Eastern conflict and Trump claiming progress is being made, the reality makes him look foolish, and he faces mounting criticism as the mid term elections draw near. America has disabled a tanker exporting Iranian oil from the Straight of Hormuz. Iran has retaliated with missile and drone strikes on US supporting Gulf States including Kuwait Airport and Bahrain. 

In the past six months or so, news from conflict zones has been dominated by reports about military use of drones. Ukraine has succeeded in containing Russian advances in the Donbass region in a way that has been very costly to Russian casualties and equipment. The use of remote controlled drones to observe and fire on adversaries has advanced remarkably on both sides, benefiting defenders more than attackers. Into the fray now, remote controlled armed vehicles are appearing. The development and use of artificial intelligence in deploying aerial drone swarms is making a significant difference to what can be achieved on the battlefield tactically and strategically. 

Ukraine's ability to hit Moscow targets is dispelling the popular illusion of Russian invincibility. A drone strike on an oil terminal and a warship in St Petersburg last night occurred while an international economic forum opened in the city. A confident message from Ukraine that nowhere under Russian rule is safe. Last winter Ukrainian energy infrastructure and the city of Kyiv were bombarded by Russian and drone attacks at the coldest time of year. Ukraine's capability to hit long range targets, especially oil and munitions production facilities undermines Russia's ability to wage war, draining its resources. Putin's 'special military operation' led to courageous and determined resistance by Ukraine. Not only that, but it led to a surge in technological creativity and military innovation. Ukraine's experience and expertise in drone warfare is now being sought by those coping with conflict in the Middle East.

Israel continues to attack Hezbollah within Lebanese territory it has invaded and occupied. Talks between  the governments of Israel and Lebanon continue, though it's hard to see how progress can be made when Lebanon is fragmented and not strong enough to disarm Hezbollah, when under duress from Israel with Iran backing Hezbollah. The situation is unstable and chaotic to the benefit of Iran with its own expertise in drone warfare capable of wreaking havoc regionally. Despite the American blockade, it's still Iran that effectively controls traffic in the Straight of Hormuz, propagating an economic crisis that is affecting the world, especially poor underdeveloped countries.

Hopefully when a stalemate in conflict is reached that is too costly and unsustainable for all parties, with warmongers and demagogues discredited and support lost, there will be no alternative left to seek peace other than by dialogue and diplomacy. That's a day I pray will arrive soon.

No response

I had a terrible night's sleep. Each time I got up to empty my bladder I began to feel anxious about the hospital appointment I was facing at midday, to wear a blood pressure monitor for a day. It was a stressful uncomfortable experience last time, and I'm not sure what was gained from it anyway.

An email reply from the dental receptionist arrived telling me to phone for an appointment, though the reason I had emailed was because I had tried phoning twice and got no response. It was third time lucky however. I now have a checkup booked in a month's time.

Clare's study group arrived at ten. I was still feeling exhausted, and came to the conclusion that getting myself to UHW and subjecting myself to this procedure would only make me feel worse. I discussed this with group members and decided to call the cardiology unit to say I wasn't feeling well. I tried the two different contact numbers given for the cardiology unit and got no response. I couldn't even leave a message, so I rang the main switchboard and also got no response. I wrote a letter to the consultant explaining what happened and posted it first class mail before lunch. 

My anxiety dissipated and I slept soundly for an hour after eating, though brain fatigue dulled my senses and made me feel a little unsteady on my feet. I have a surgery appointment booked on Thursday this week for a blood test and blood pressure check in any case, a follow up on the mini-crisis in Tenby. In the end, I'm the only person who can protect me from exhaustion and getting over stressed. If it means saying 'No' to a medical system which makes exacting and complex demands on time and energy, and accused of being an uncooperative patient, so be it.

I walked to Thompson's Park, under a sky filled with fast moving clouds driven by a strong wind. Rain was threatened in the forecast but there was none. I counted five moorhen offspring, almost as big as their parents but not fully fledged around the weed strewn big pond. Sadly, I had left my camera at home. I only stayed out for half an hour, as I found the gusts of wind unnerving. When my senses aren't sharp as normal I'm instinctively cautious. Better safe than sorry. I walked again for nearly an hour before supper, hoping to clear my dulled senses with fresh air and exercise. I just wish I could get more rest.

A wet start to Summer

A cool and cloudy start morning with occasional rain showers. I slept quite well, despite pain from my strained right shoulder. Even so, I felt drowsy from the medication until I went out for exercise. After breakfast I started preparing another Morning Prayer and reflection. Then Clare and I went out for a walk around Llandaff Fields together before going to Jason's greengrocers to stock up on essentials. I cooked a spicy veg dish for lunch with cannellini beans, mushrooms, onions and carrots, flavoured with a mild curry paste as an experiment. The carrot added unexpected sweetness to the overall taste. 

I wrote an email to our dental practice receptionist, after failing twice to make contact by phone. I need to book a checkup appointment, to replace the one cancelled when I was in hospital. I hope I get a response, or I'll have to go there by bus and make the booking in person. I wrote to June's friend Elaine to inquire about my sister's health as she's not responding to my messages.

It was drizzling rain when I walked in the park at tea time under my brolly for nearly an hour. Thankfully, no brolly wrecking wind.  It's the first day of meteorological summer. A disappointing start in the light of the brief heat wave we had last week. It's been raining most over the evening.

Israel is occupying more territory in Lebanon in an effort to neutralize Hezbollah, which continues to send drones and missiles across the Israeli border. Ceasefire talks have changed nothing. The Lebanese state is too weak and disunited to disarm Hezbollah, or stand up to Iran which supports and arms what is in effect a state within a state. Israel's latest land grab has led to Iran suspending peace talks with America. Under pressure from Trump Israel and Hezbollah have agreed to stop attacking each other, but how long will this last. Iran threatens to pull out of peace talks, widening the scope of the conflict and completely close the Straight of Hormuz through which select traffic is passing. 

Maintaining this war is proving very costly for America in terms of expensive military hardware losses, estimated at $20 billion, with broader economic losses varying from a hundred billion to a trillion dollars so far. How much longer can America afford to sustain such costly aggression against an enemy capable of enduring much greater hardship, and showing how smart it can be in waging war? Despite American optimism about peace talks, perhaps aimed to keep the price of oil from rising further as much as anything else, Trump's claim to have the upper hand in this conflict, on the basis of its destruction of Iranian military assets so far doesn't seem to match reality. 

Trinity Sunday Baptisms

Bed at eleven up at eight thirty, but nearly three hours of intermittent wakefulness. As Owain is with us I have the opportunity of help to fill in my tax return, provided I can find my P60 income statements. My study is not quite chaotic, but in the throes of being organised. I've simply not felt well enough to harness the mental effort to do it, and get anxious about losing control of my affairs. I think it's part of the reason for losing sleep. I walked briskly to St Catherine's for the Eucharist in an effort to wake myself up. Clare stayed behind with Owain. There was a double baptism during the service this morning, a baby and a child of Junior School age. Quite suitable for a Trinity Sunday. There were only about forty of us, including the baptism family. It's half term week and many families with children are away.

After the service I went to Tesco's to buy some breakfast porridge oats as we ran out yesterday. Clare and Owain had already eaten a snack as they were about to go to St David's Spa for a swim, but left cooked veg and tuna fish for me. After I'd eaten I focused my attention on retrieving and checking the necessary documents for compiling an income statement for the tax man. 

At midday I had a SMS reminder about the blood pressure monitor fitting appointment on Tuesday next. I'm feeling unhappy about this. I found the experience stressful previously, and now even more so, as the sound and sensation of the device working brings back memories of trauma in A&E. I wonder if I should discuss this with one of our GPs?

My aim was to obtain Owain's support to check and file the tax account. With a list of previous income entries for guidance it wasn't difficult, with the exception of finding P60 pension documents from two small CofE diocesan supplementary pension schemes from Bristol and Worcester dioceses where I worked in the eighties. The most recent pair of these had not yet sent their P60, but I was able to track payments from bank statements. 

Owain investigated and found that the management of these funds had been taken over by another company. It may be that the P60s will arrive late due to the takeover, rather than me losing them. I can check another time. At least I had what I needed for my income statement, so that's one less worry. There's no hurry, so I may just wait until the next time Owain comes so he can supervise my filling in the on-line form. This is the measure of how much confidence I've lost about doing financial affairs online, something I used to take in my stride. At five he took his leave of us, and returned to Bristol. It was so good to have his company over the weekend.

Clare made a vegetable soup for supper, with the addition of some leftover pieces of ravioli. An interesting confection. Then I went out for a walk up and down Llandaff Fields as the sun was setting, which cleared my head at last. I heard the Green Woodpecker's eerie call as I turned for home. One of the neighbourhood resident blackbirds sang at dusk, as they do also at first light. Such a calming sound at bed time.

A Blue Moon wish

Another glorious blue sky sunny day to wake up to, comfortably warm to start with, but the temperature rising to 25C during the morning, cloudy and a cooling wind in the afternoon. My shoulder is less painful today but I could have done with more sleep after half a dozen awakenings in the night. Despite this, my head was clearer when I got up, clearer than yesterday. I can't figure out what makes the difference between a bad start to the day and a good one.

Clare cooked crispy buckwheat pancakes for breakfast, then went food shopping. I exchanged messages with Sara about recovering from joint and muscle damage, reflecting on how much learning Chi Gung has helped me to maintain strength and balance since the stroke, and prevent my strained shoulder from seizing up - so far so good anyway.

After lunch I walked for nearly two hours in Llandaff and Pontcanna Fields. On my way back I met Owain carrying a bunch of flowers for his Mam, and a big pork sausage bap for me, bless him! He's in good spirits, relaxed thanks to the benefit of his recent short holiday in Lisbon. We agreed on getting a takeaway supper - just salad for me. Eating less in the evening will, I hope, enable me to have a less disturbed night's sleep.

Owain and I went for a sunset walk in Llandaff Fields. The clouds were beautifully lit in orange and pink hues. Sadly it means there's little hope of seeing the rising of the Blue Moon, the second full moon of this month. If only America and Iran, Israel and Lebanon could agree to permanent cease fire terms. That really would be a historic  'once in a blue moon' occasion.

Peace talks between America and Iran are still stalled. While there is some traffic through the Straight of Hormuz, the blockade of Iranian ports continues, and Iran is not yielding to pressure. A key issue is Iran's stocks of enriched uranium which can be used for peaceful energy production or nuclear weapons. America insists these stocks must be destroyed. It's stupid rhetoric. Radio active substances can be diluted and dispersed for secure containment in other countries willing to accept them, but not destroyed.

Neither side trusts the other and Trump is determined to force the issue one way or another. The Americans keep on saying there is progress on cease-fire talks, but nothing seems to be happening. The price of oil stays high and fluctuates every time there is a new pronouncement from Washington or Tehran. Every variation is a money making opportunity for the global energy market. Cynical commentators say it's a new version of 'insider trading'.

Whatever peace talks are going on in Lebanon, Israel continues to treat the whole country as a battlefield in its war against Hezbollah. Over three thousand have been killed and a million displaced. In Gaza over two hundred have been killed since the ceasefire and forcible displacement of the Palestinian population from their land already in ruins from war against Hamas. The Israeli government's violent ethnic cleansing policy and subjugation of Palestinian people is a moral outrage. It will do nothing to secure a peaceful future for the region, apart from adding to the reservoir of violent hatred between Israelis and Arabs. With America doing little to restrain the Israeli government, this could lead to violent revenge attacks in the United States. The belief that 'might is right' is a form of idolatry, the ideology of fools.

Musical nostalgia

I woke up at eight to the noise of hammering and drilling from loft conversion work next door but one, but dozed for another hour. One way or another, I had a good night's sleep. I felt slightly queasy rather than light headed after getting up and having breakfast. Although I didn't feel tired my head felt congested though not aching, an odd sensation. Clare and I had hairdo appointments with Chris at lunchtime. I decided to give mine a miss and not take the risk of feeling worse when I'm out and about. In the past, queasiness has been a side effect of what medications do to my stomach especially slow release capsules. Eating live kefir yoghurt generally relieves the symptoms, and is included in our regular diet, though not over the past few days, so I went out and bought some, and it had the desired result. It's disturbing to think that medications are intended to prevent strokes or heart attack undermine the healthy functioning of the digestive tract. 

While I was out shopping I bought a pack of chicken legs to cook in a casserole. In the fridge I found some uncooked new potatoes left from a change in menu yesterday, and roasted them in oil on the lid of the casserole turned up side down - a convenient way to benefit from the oven heat. I don't know why I didn't think of this before.

Kath and Anto reported with pleasure on Rhiannon's successful end of year Fashion Design show and sent us a video clip of her posing with her exhibits, a huge smile and delight shining in her eyes. She's doing well and obviously loving the course.

I recorded and edited the audio for next Wednesday's Morning Prayer after lunch, then walked in Llandaff Fields for an hour and a quarter. After supper I made the slide show video to go with Morning Prayer and uploaded it to YouTube. Then we watched Paul McCartney being interviewed in a Radio 2 special called 'Tracks of my years' reflecting on ten records which embody the influences and inspirations of his musical life story. An hour of pure nostalgia, starting from 1956, the year I started Grammar School, and first heard Elvis and the Beatles songs on the radio, or on family record players. Happy days indeed, filled with memories of a world so different in many ways from nowadays.

Beware digital tyranny

Despite the heat I had a good night's sleep, though it left me feeling light headed after taking my meds for the day. High cloud and cooling wind from the west limited the afternoon air temperature to 24C, which is hot enough.

After breakfast, I worked on a biblical reflection on Luke's story of the giving of the Lord's Prayer. Clare called me from town to ask if I would prepare lunch, which I did at short notice, so it was ready by the time she got home. I met Rufus at Cafe Castan for coffee and chat after lunch. He's very busy in his work with Missions to Seafarers, involving a lot of travel and organising volunteers. 

Sadly the response to his ministry from the Church in Wales leaves much to be desired - an institution in survival mode tending to turn in on itself, away from the concerns of the wider world. I get the impression that morale is low among clergy approaching retirement age, drained by decades of struggle against slow  decline. We're among the number of faithful who have come to feel like strangers in the household of God, as it manages its own demise. 

The demise of physical parking permits and imposition of digital parking permits in our car crowded area is leading to many complaints on our neighbourhood WhatsApp group. The system is comple. The permit managing app is giving users grief. Civil Parking Enforcement officers are having a field day issuing fines to parked cars, some of which may have tried to use the app and failed, or entered details incorrectly.  It is possible to pay using one's mobile phone SMS, and by calling a live operator, but the volume of demand for this large enough to jam the system. 

Clare wants to pay for a permit for one user, but it's far from clear how this is meant to work when a house has no set parking space, only a designated zone in which there may not be an available space anyway.. In order to obtain a digital permit, Clare needed our Council Tax reference number. It's in a document in a physical file cabinet that's so old it's falling apart. Once every file was properly labelled, but over the years many of there have detached themselves. Taking out folders from a ground level cabinet in a poorly lit corner of my decrepit pre-digital office to examine them isn't easy. It's precarious. Bending over threatens to provoke a nose bleed. 

I already had a nose bleed earlier today sitting quietly, trying to figure out how to respond to an NHS appointment SMS with a distinctly ambiguous labelled response button, as the respond by date was yesterday. I was about to go to the GP surgery and ask them to decode this for me when Jorja arrived for her house cleaning session. She dialled the mobile number from which the SMS was sent, something I had assumed wouldn't ring out as such automated messages can come from a server that blocks return calls in favour of messages from the auto response button. Jorja called the mobile number anyway and got to speak to a real human being, and identified me as the recipient of the SMS. It turned out there was a date error in the message I was sent. The impact of over-reliance on 'smart' digital forms of administration and management is generating more chaos than order, as we are seeing with the EU's electronic passport gate network. Clever people are making stupid and costly strategic decisions because they don't consider the human element and regard people as immutable cogs in a machine.

In November the spacecraft Voyager 1 passes a distance equivalent to one day's travel at the speed of light. A story about human teamwork is being told which celebrates the truth that human beings at their best are anything but immutable cogs. 

'A spacecraft built by people, many of whom are no longer alive, was rescued by people who had retired — called back specifically because the knowledge of how Voyager works had become rare enough to be precious. The fix required no new hardware, no rocket, no rescue mission. It required old engineers, deep institutional memory, two days of patience, and an extraordinarily careful understanding of a computer designed before most of the modern world existed. Voyager 1 is now so far away that its signal, travelling at the speed of light, takes most of a day to reach us. In November 2026 it will cross a strange threshold — it will be a full light-day from Earth.'

In the past thirty years, communication technologies and social networks have brought about huge upheavals in culture and relationships influencing values and social priorities. Whether something is popular rather than just, true or correct is unduly influencing moral thinking, or perhaps just distracting attention from the pursuit of truth. Making sense of this from a disciplined Christian perspective and challenging where necessary is vitally important. Especially given the rise and rise of AI. 

Pope Leo has been outspokenly critical in his first encyclical 'Magnifica Humanitas' published this week. An important contribution about human value and the dignity of God's children in an era when computer algorithms are so powerful they threaten to eclipse real human intelligence. To trust and rely on such digital devices of our own making to reason for us, is to my mind, nothing but idolatry.

After Rufus and I parted company I walked home, had a drink, then went out again and walked for an hour before supper. As the sun reached the horizon, I went out again for a breath of fresh air in the cool evening breeze before bed.

Mona's thoughts on the Haj

A hot and sweaty night, though I managed to sleep fairly well, but didn't feel as if I'd slept enough, and felt physically tired. It wasn't brain fatigue, my head was clear enough, if a little slow thinking at first. A cooling wind from the west brought the temperature down below 30C today. Meadow Street was noisy again when I got up with the sound of scaffolding being erected and the workers' loud conversation. A loft conversion is under way a few doors down from us. 

I posted the YouTube Morning Prayer link to WhatsApp just after 'Thought for the Day' Mona Siddiqui reflected on the significance of the annual Haj pilgrimage to Mecca which started last Sunday night. Saudi Arabia has been under attack in recent months from Iranian allies like other America supporting Gulf States. She remarked on the presence of anti-missile defence batteries around the holy city protecting the 1.5 million pilgrims arriving in even greater numbers this year despite Trump's war. She interpreted this as expressing the people's faith in God defying their own fear, and refusing to let themselves be defined by uncontrollable chaos and anxiety unleashed by regional conflict.

Despite getting up in good time, I arrived five minutes late at the St Catherine's Eucharist, detained at home by my irritable bowel which runs on a timetable of its own. There were ten of us this morning, including Pam who's been housebound for months. It was good to see her looking well, and happy to be among friends again. I settled accounts with Ann for our Tenby stay and she brought me home in her car to collect the key to their Sandy Reach apartment.

I prepared the veg to cook for lunch, and Clare cooked ravioli stuffed with ricotta and chicken or spinach, bathed in our best olive oil. It was a pleasant change, and good to find that a pasta enriched with egg and a cheesy filling didn't give me indigestion. Then, a stimulating acupuncture session with Peter, one which literally made my feet tingle. Despite the stress and sleep losses of the past couple of weeks my body has responded well to the ups and downs of changing routine. I won't need a session so often from now on.

Clare also had a session with Peter this afternoon as well, but got muddled about her destination and went first in the opposite direction to the clinic where we have osteo massage treatment with Clive. Fortunately Peter didn't have another client at that time and all ended well. 

I had a rest when I got home, though I didn't sleep, and went out for a walk before supper. Banners for an orienteering event had been planted in Llandaff Field, marking the start and finish points for the day's course. It made me think of Sara and Gunnar as they are keen on orienteering in the countryside outside of Gothenburg. I took a photo and sent it to her.

Having completed my daily mileage quota, I started getting ready for bed before sunset, hoping for extra rest. Sometimes I feel as if I'm wearing myself out, as I rarely feel fully recovered after a night of broken sleep.

Stalemate

Another 30+C clear blue sky day of sunshine. It stayed warm overnight with the usual sleep interruptions from my bladder and painful shoulder. Rubbing the joint with Voltarol when the discomfort woke me up in  the night, made a difference however, but robbed me of an hour's sleep. The house next door but one is having work done on its roof. A work gang started before eight this morning. Scaffolding poles banging against the terrace walls with a thump woke me up, together with the loud non-stop talking of the gang leader, continuing all morning. If this was Switzerland a policeman would have been summoned to tell the gang to work without disturbing the domestic peace.

Only Fran came to study with Clare after breakfast. I confined myself to the front room and fell asleep for an hour and a half after saying Morning Prayer. I started to wake up after Fran left. Thankfully for a change, I escaped the effect of sleep loss. Clare cooked mackerel for lunch, with red cabbage and brown rice, followed by raspberries with ice cream and chocolate sauce to follow. We ate in the garden, and when the breeze died down it felt really hot under the sunshade, the kind of heat I associate with Spain.

After lunch, a walk to the shops on Cowbridge Road East with a stop to collect prescription items from the pharmacy in King's Road before buying a few more items I needed. I still can't find a suitable antiseptic liquid to replace TCP since the supply chain broke down. I meant to ask in Boots this afternoon but there was a queue to be served so long it snaked around the store. I'll try again another day. Walking the streets with the sun still casting short shadows was a bit like going near a furnace on times. Rather than extend my walk into the park, I returned home straightaway, to shelter in the relative coolness of the house. After supper, I went out and walked for an hour to complete the rest of my daily distance before settling down for the night. The sunset was spectacular, made special by the sound of the Cathedral bell ringing practice in the distance. It was over 32C in Bute Park this afternoon, a record breaking high temperature for May,  Europe is heating up faster than anticipated, an indication of things to come.

Despite peace talks during a cease fire between Iran and America fighting over access to the Straight of Hormuz and to Iranian ports continues, very little oil traffic gets through and the economic fall out grows and gets more serious in its effect. Trump's team makes optimistic noises about imminent progress, but in effect there has been no change. It seems the Americans are trying to talk their way out of a stalemate in an attempt to quell the rising price of oil. Israel keeps punishing Lebanon in its war against Hezbollah, with cease fire talks supposed to continue in the background. Iran threatens to extend the war beyond the region's borders if American and Israeli aggression continues. It has shown its military effectiveness with missile and drone attacks across the Middle East, and has Russia's discreet background support. 

The US  mid-term elections in November will no doubt reflect dissatisfaction over the war and the economy under Trump, and may well shift the balance of support away from him and his costly Middle Eastern interventions. How this war may actually be brought to an end in such circumstances is unpredictable. Chaos has spread throughout the region, with Iran's allies, for reasons of survival or taking revenge against US backed Gulf States, no longer fully under control of the leadership in Tehran. Gulf States which have benefited from their relationship with America in the past are seeing their economies and infrastructure damaged. How will this influence their partnership with and reliance on the United States in future? Whatever happens in the mid-term elections, future relationships seem unpredictable.

As hot as Spain

A comfortably warm night, a consolation as a painful shoulder added to my wakefulness. It's hotter than Málaga here today - 30C, as opposed to 23C on the Costa del Sol. I had a lazy morning indoors out of the sun. It wakes me time to acclimatize, and as medications dehydrate me, extra care drinking enough water is vital. The heat is going to persist for a while, the media already talks of a heat wave and record breaking high temperatures.

I read an article about saving wear and tear on a digital hard drive by disabling its 'fast boot' setting, Both my Windows 11 devices have digital hard drives and were several years old when I bought them. Length of life with a used device is uncertain, so better safe than sorry. It took a while to find the relevant means to disable the setting - it's not as if I need to boot up extra quickly, when my uses for a Windows 11 device are limited. If I want speed, I have the convenience of a Chromebook as a writing and editing tool, and can live with its limitations. Sound and video editing are what I use Windows for. With practice I could do the same on a Linux device, but learning how to achieve this habitually at speed would be an effort when my brain is sluggish and dull for lack of sleep. Remembering how to find and use the legacy Windows Control Panel to disable 'fast boot' was a slow exercise. As I don't use my Honor laptop often, undates were needed which took a couple of hours to download and install. 

Meanwhile Clare baked sausages and potatoes, and cooked green and red cabbage for lunch in the garden under the shade of our umbrella sunshade. A family of sparrows in the vegetation on top of the garden wall accompanied us with their chirruping while we ate. After a siesta in my armchair, I walked for an hour in Llandaff Fields. The afternoon sun was very strong and I navigated a course from one patch of tree shade to another to avoid sunburn. There was a cooling breeze from the west, but the wind was pleasantly warm, a change from how it has been for months.

I went out again after supper as the temperature began to drop, this time for a circuit of Thompson's Park. I saw one moorhen on its nest, but instead of the other parent at the water's edge there was a juvenile bird which had shed its hatchling down and was growing its flight feathers. It probably hatched while we were in Tenby. I wonder if there's a second clutch of eggs under the bird on the nest? Time will tell.

I completed by daily distance returning home, and started getting ready for bed.  I rubbed Voltarol into my shoulder when I got up this morning and it hasn't been painful during the day. Hopefully I can make up for last night's broken sleep. It left me feeling light headed and a bit unsteady for most of the day.

Quiet Pentecost

I got to bed by ten thirty but had an uncomfortable night's sleep, due to shoulder pain. When I eventually woke up it was ten o'clock. A day of clear sky and bright sunshine, 25C. I slept better than I felt I would, given the pain. I had to rush to get myself to St Catherine's by ten forty five and arrived during the first hymn. As it's a Bank Holiday weekend, parents with children were absent. There were about thirty present, half the number, our faithful choir. 

We had lunch in the garden under our big umbrella sunshade, eating the chick pea and veg I prepared for yesterday's lunch, to which Clare added a dash of curry spice. After lunch, Pete called in bearing a copy of Diana's latest novel, just published. What a lovely surprise!

A lovely afternoon for a walk along the edge of Pontcanna Fields along the so-called Spine Road. It's lined with tall trees in full leaf. It looks magnificent and provides ample shade for humans and cover for robins, wrens, thrushes, blackbirds, collared doves and starlings to sing their hearts out against a background of children's excited shrieks as they chase each other around playing football. The aroma of meat roasting on picnic barbecues pervades the air. It's lovely to see so many people enjoying the park.

A quiet evening after supper, catching up on news until the light began to fade. Cue for an early bed time, in the hope of another restful night and minimal sleep disturbance. Life is so much less stressful when I'm not overtired.

Surprise turn

The weather gradually gets warmer each day, under a thin layer of high cloud, but it's cooler at night. The house stays relatively cool as the building itself takes a long time to warm up and stay warm. I notice this as I'm more sensitive to cold than I used to be, and need to wear extra layers until it becomes really hot. I remember my mother quoting the proverb "Never cast a clout until May is out." or was it 'the May is out' meaning May blossom, which already appeared before the end of April. We're already in the last week of May and it's possible to go out with no top coat at last, even if there's a wind. I notice other walkers more thinly clad than me. I don't generate as much heat walking slower and aim to stay comfortably warm in whatever way I can. 

Although I had a fair night's sleep, I wasn't comfortable, losing three hours to bladder interruptions, and I'm not fully awake until well after breakfast - Saturday pancakes this morning followed by doing nothing until it was time for lunch. Clare went out shopping, leaving a bag of frozen chick peas to thaw. I assumed this was intended for lunch and got busy with making a veggie sauce to cook them in. I didn't notice the   message  arriving to say she was bringing home fish and chips for lunch. Ooops! My savoury dish will have to wait until tomorrow, or go in the freezer.

After we'd eaten I walked in Llandaff Fields, and my head began to clear of sleepiness that slowed down my brain and reactions. As I walked back along Penhill Road, a man wearing a rucksack reversed out of his front gate on my left hand side without looking, hauling a push chair behind him right into my path  when I was just two paces behind him. Not only did I see him, but responded quickly enough to swerve and avoid a collision. He appeared in the corner of my left eye where my field of vision was impaired by the stroke. The sun was bright, he was partly in shadow. My physical reaction didn't lag behind my perception of a possible collision and I wasn't thrown off balance. 

This unexpected gift astonished me. There have been other moments too lately. Occasionally in this spell of bright sunshine, I started to experience  faint sparkles of coloured light in the left hand corner of my field of vision, the area which was darkened enough in the early months of recovery for me not to notice things on the upper and lower periphery of my vision. It led to collisions or near misses with overhanging foliage, rubbish bins and a protruding gate parapet, but it has slowly improved with the passage of time. The neuro-plasticity of the brain as it's called means repair happens with suitable stimulus. Something special to thank God for this afternoon.

I went out again and walked around Thompson's Park to complete my daily distance. The moorhen pair are taking turns to sit on their nest in the pond. I watched them change shifts. I don't think their eggs are  hatched yet. 

Owain returned from his excursion to Lisbon and sent us photos. Then after supper, he video called and told us all about it. He was impressed by the low cost public transport system, metro, trams, cheap taxis and buses. The city  is apparently very hilly. No wonder he sounded tired after his trip. It reminded me to take myself to bed earlier.