Unreasonable delay

After breakfast and Morning Prayer, I drove to St Catherine's for perhaps the first time, certainly in the Polo, but maybe since we've been living in the Parish, as it's such a short walk from home. The reason for this was to transport the heavy Bosch vacuum cleaner which Clare bought when I was in Ibiza last year. It's proved to be too heavy for either of us to lug around the house with painful joints. I offered it to church warden Sue for the church, as it's quite a powerful device, better suited to cleaning dusty surfaces in church. A new much lighter one arrives this afternoon.

For the first time since St John's Day in Christmastide, I celebrated the Eucharist this morning, with an improvised sermon. There were eight of us regulars present and I much enjoyed doing so. Although I've not presided for three months, I was more relaxed at ease doing so this time, not worrying about going through the necessary anti-covid precautions. The correct routine seems now to have embedded itself in my memory.

I received an email from the European diocesan Safeguarding team about participating in the on-line Stage Two training which is now a prerequisite for those who wish to hold a diocesan PTO. Those who have done it say it's a worthwhile activity, and even though it's unlikely that I'll get an opportunity to do locum duty abroad any time soon, I intend to keep my PTO so there'll no hold-up if I am asked again.

Back on 23rd February I was due to have a telephone consultation about blood pressure medication side effects with a pharmacological consultant, who cancelled for reasons of sickness on that morning. Today I received an appointment letter for the 25th May. The initial appointment request had been made by my GP last November. For better or worse I've taken the matter into my own hands and feel better for not taking an additional daily tablet whose side effects made me feel worse. There's something absurd about this. 

Just suppose the drug combinations was putting me at more risk than the side effects indicated? I could be dead waiting that long for an assessment. People with mental health conditions get stuck on medications they don't need and which rob them of well-being because their case doesn't get reviewed. The Covid crisis provides an alibi for delayed treatments, so there's no point in making an issue of it. I think I'll cancel the appointment, but suppose I should report this to my GP, in case the system flags me up as 'no-show' or 'non-cooperative' to cover up the uselessness of a service which doesn't even bother to enquire of a patient what impact the consultation delay might have.

Fran and Mark came over to see us and arrived just as I was returning from collecting our Beanfreaks weekly grocery order. We had a cup of te in the garden and then went for a walk around Pontcanna Fields together. One they watched the footage of the icon video I shot with them, they decided to revise the script and re-shoot it at a different location. The editing has now been done and it'll be ready for showing on the Parish 'Holy Ground' webcast in Easter Week. I'm pleased they were able to get to a finished product they were satisfied with. I had fun being a small part of the process.

Seeing the world with honest clarity

After breakfast, I walked down to St John's to meet Mother Francis and be introduced to a lady whose father's funeral I'll be doing in ten days time. He was a teacher by profession who trained as a priest in mid life, working in school chaplaincy and later in a CofE Parish. It must be forty years since I last did the funeral of a priest who had once served in the St Paul's area parish where I was incumbent. It's rather a privilege to be asked to do this, though the reason is that the deceased was opposed to women as priests, which is why Mother Francis out of respect asked me. This is not a conviction I share, but I think I have some understanding of those who do. After all, some good friends and colleagues over the years were traditionalists. We shared the same spirituality and enthusiasm for mission and pastoral care, but agreed to differ on this issue, to live and let live.

As it's Clare's morning in school, I returned and cooked lunch, timed nicely just as she arrived through the door. The school has given her a covid self-test kit to use next week the day before she goes in again. If she tested positive she'd have to get a full test to ascertain whether or not it's a false positive, so we'd both have to go into self-isolation in between tests as a precaution. Better safe than sorry I suppose.

I walked to Victoria Park to take the St John's church keys back to the Rectory, then  walked on, out of the parish up to Ely Bridge, where there's now an access road into the riverside area formerly occupied by paper mills, in the throes of transformation into a new housing estate. It's not open to pedestrians or traffic yet, but what interested me was to find out if there's an old footpath along the river Ely. I've driven by many times, but never walked there. 

On the other side of the river is a turn of the 20th century row of terraced houses which may have been built for mill workers. I wandered along the terrace, facing the river bank, lined with flowering trees, and took a few photos. The terrace ends with the access road to a small industrial estate and a large RAF ex-servicemen's club. A curious location, I wonder why it was chosen?

Before starting the new batch of 2mg doxazosin, I decided to have a day's break, to see what difference it would make. My head has been clearer as a result. Recently, towards the end of my daily walk, the soles of my feet have started to hurt, but without any swelling. Tingling feet I expect when I exercise, a natural sign that blood is circulating properly. What I experienced was muscles in the soles of my feet burning painfully. The longer I stayed with the 4mg, the effect worsened. The day I stop, normal healthy tingling, but no burning pain. I now recall having had this side effect when I took high doxazosin doses before, but I mistakenly attributed this to the shoes I resumed wearing when the season for sandals was over.

I had an interesting chat with sister in law Ann about blood pressure this afternoon. As a medical ethicist it's a subject under debate she takes an interest in. In an effort to reduce incidences of strokes and heart attacks, medics have reduced the healthy norm of 140/80 down to 130/70. This may well be beneficial for the general adult population, but not necessarily so for elderly people, whose vascular systems age, and average blood pressure rises. If in older people it's artificially suppressed with medication this could have an undesirable impact on heart or kidneys, or result in fainting or dizziness. So maybe it's time to challenge the dogma that youthful low blood pressure is really such a good thing in old age.

We watched the second part of 'The Story of Welsh Art' on BBC Two Wales catch-up tonight. I hadn't realised how innovative Welsh artists were in the 17th-19th century, in landscape painting, the portrayal of working class as well as middle class people, and documenting the industrial revolution in paintings of the workplace. Seeing and representing realistically people and the land they belong to seems to have been characteristic of Welsh painters. 

There's an honesty of perception which art historians attribute to post reformation spirituality, a willingness to see things as they naturally are, not embroidered by myth or romantic sentiment. These artist were on a par with, if not ahead of their European counterparts, but hardly found lasting fame. The role of Welsh innovators is hardly acknowledged let alone celebrated in British art history. I hope this series of programmes may stimulate greater interest in this special dimension of our cultural heritage. Who knows, we may see some art exhibitions drawing attention to unsung Welsh masterpieces. 

Undesirable side effects

After a long and refreshing night's sleep, another Spring-like day to enjoy, and it's St Patrick's day too! I went to St Catherine's for this morning's Eucharist. We were the usual eight people plus Mother Frances. We chatted in the churchyard afterwards about how the past year had brought us back to value the scripture reading of the daily Offices, and how it enabled us to do without the frequent eucharistic diet we're used to, yet still feel fed spiritually. 

Francis told me that St John's now hosts a Russian Orthodox congregation on Sunday mornings, after the live streamed Parish Eucharist from there. St Luke's also hosts the Romanian Orthodox congregation that used to meet at St Dyfrig and Samson's. Somehow, covid closure and the long interregnum brought that to an end. Thank heavens Fr Edward Owen's appointment as Priest in Charge of Grangetown has recently been announced.

Mark and Fran phoned after lunch, gearing up to make a video artistic piece for Easter, using Fran's 'Nolli me tangere' icon and talking about it, with Mark playing a meditative piece on the viola. They've taken me up on my offer of videoing it, and the plan is to do this in St John's soon. That's be a nice challenge to do well. 

I cooked our lunch, and then went for a walk in a circuit around the Parish, taking in Thompson's Park and Victoria Park before walking down Cowbridge Road East to collect my prescription from Boots the Chemist. I spoke with the pharmacist about the side effects I've been experiencing from using the higher dosage of doxazosin. It's strange that the more physically well I feel with progress in the wound healing, the worse the side effects become. The last couple of days since speaking to my GP I started to regret having asked to continue with the 4mg dosage and have the extra 2mg dose supply to augment it if my blood pressure shoots up again. He agreed not to issue me with 4mg supply and take it back into stock. If I had taken it, not used it and returned it to the pharmacy, it would have been binned. I've got the 2mg and hope not to feel so groggy and not to have my blood pressure shooting up again.

Clare's morale has been boosted by having her ears cleared of wax and skin flakes which have reduced her hearing capacity significantly this past few months. She had to pay to get it done at a specialist clinic locally, but it's money well spent. We're not having to shout at each other across the noise of kitchen appliances quite as much now!

Rather than watch telly this evening I have been reorganising my recent photo archives to show Victoria Park, Thompson's Park and Bute Park separately from Taffside and Pontcanna photos. They don't all show a location, so it's better for anyone unfamiliar with the places but interested in the parks to have them grouped together.

State of Alarm - day Thirty Seven

The temperature dropped a few degrees and there was wind and rain overnight and through the day into the afternoon. It was overcast and felt just the way it did a month ago. A day without cheer save for calls from Clare and Owain. There was a certain irony in seeing Clare in a summer blouse under a cloudless blue sky in our Pontcanna back garden. She told me that a local organisation is trying to organise a local sewing bee to make PPE gowns for NHS staff. 

She still has an old Singer sewing machine in good working order, and has volunteered, though she suspects good intentions may yet founder on poor planning and organisation. Whoever is trying to run the scheme asks volunteers how many gowns they think they can make in a day, without stating where the start line is. Are the workers to be given a pattern and material, or ready cut parts to sew together, or what? It seems typical of the situation we find ourselves in. 

It reflects the crisis management chaos exhibited by UK government leaders at the moment. Those in charge are lacking volumes of practical experience at juggling all the necessary demands of an overwhelming situation. They can tell you what they've done, but on times fail to join the dots, and must suffer the humiliation of being reminded of this by news media which seem to have more information at their disposal. Maybe the media could do better by making sure to pester relevant officials on the job, not on-air to entertain (or agitate) listeners.

Jayne brought me my week's grocery order, plus a  month's supply of my main blood pressure pills. I emailed our GP surgery yesterday to get the name of an equivalent to the standard diuretic pill I'm also supposed to take, but the email didn't arrive until after Jayne had been, so unfortunately that's another thing that can't yet be crossed off the 'to-do' list. If things were normal I could get some posted from home, but there are no guarantees they would arrive. I'm OK now until the beginning of June. There's no way of knowing if I'll be able to get home by then, there's such uncertaintly.

One good thing is that Jayne bought me a mascarilla, which I can wear if I need to go to a shop or the Pharmacy to collect something. I felt very awkward going into places without one, and earlier none were available, so I thought it prudent to simply avoid going up to 'Es Cuco', as I did before. Maybe I am a bit over sensitive, but I don't want to be a source of bother for anyone, and need to protect myself from the possibility of being a bother to others, even though the risk on Ibiza is very low compared to elsewhere. Clare has ordered me a new innovative anti-viral material protective hood cum mask to wear when I do eventually travel. The next question is whether it can fit into an envelope for sending in a posted letter, as any kind of parcel post is off-limits at present.

Despite the weather, I walked my 10k, but there was nothing noticeably new to take a photo of and send to Kath today. If it warms up again tomorrow, however, there might be some new flowers to notice, and lots more snails of different sizes. I did notice that the injured snail I saw being attacked by ants two days ago has entirely disappeared. Not just dead, but re-cycled without a trace. Whether by ants or some other nocturnal creature, I have no idea.

This evening I listened to a Low Sunday service broadcast on-line by Radio Suisse Romande from the Temple de Rolle on Lake Geneva. The link was sent to me by my friend Valdo in Aigle at the other end of the lake. It was a Swiss French Protestant service with some Bach organ and violin pieces and several Easter canticles sung by a local Russian Orthodox Choir - Low Sunday was their Easter Day. If that went outlive, the choir must have been tired as the Russian Orthodox keep Vigil throughout the night on Holy Saturday!

Special and well worth a listen was the address and meditations by Pasteure Isabelle Court. I was able to follow nearly all of it (except when she got really passionate and picked up speed), since her romandie French was beautifully clear, at a measured pace. My Spanish listening comprehension is not nearly as good as my French, but then I lived and worked in a francphone environment for nine years. So glad I haven't lost the ability to understand spoken Swiss French. French spoken in France is another matter altogether!

The meditations were an imaginative journey taken with Doubting Thomas's twin sister (he was after all Thomas Didymus - Thomas the Twin), from the day of the resurrection to the day when Thomas was reunited with the Lord again. Her theological and spiritual reflections made use of the typology devised by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross to describe the five stages of grief. Ir was remarkable and relevant to here and now with the pandemic loss of life, and most people's loss of freedom due to lock-down. Plenty to ponder on. You can find it here.

State of Alarm - day Thirty Six

I was awake at first light this morning, prayed the Office, then went back to sleep. This happens from time to time when I'm mulling over ideas. Later in the morning I wrote a full draft of next Sunday's sermon for recording. It'll take me several more days to concentrate it further. I'd rather do the work before I have to speak into a microphone, and hope not to exceed the listeners' attention span. It's important to me to think about this when I can't interact with a live audience. What a challenge clergy are faced with during the time of lock-down! I wonder how will history remember this time?

Today's news states that EU borders remain closed to all but essential traffic until mid-May. There won't be any international overland public transport services until then. Will flights re-start after the next phase of Spanish lock-down ends on May 9th? When will I ever get home? Thankfully, Jayne has solicited the help of one of the GPs she works with to write a medication prescription for me. My supply of pills runs out in the first week of May. It's not without its difficulties however, as the standard brand diuretic tablet I take is unknown in the Spanish pharma directory. The question in need of resolving is the Spanish brand name equivalent. UK-EU interchangeable prescription arrangements are fortunately still in place in this Brexit transition year. I think this is a key issue for negotiation of the Brexit divorce deal. This crisis time is going to teach Britons a hard lesson about what we are losing that we will have cause to regret.

This afternoon as I walked my 10k, a chill wind sprang up and the temperature dropped by several degrees turning a time of pleasant exercise into an effort. How quickly, I noticed, the house cooled down, calling for heating and an extra pullover. Still strange weather for this time.

My car insurance renewal notice arrived by email from Aviva a few days ago, and this evening I paid it on-line. The Polo is a nice little car, but I wonder how much longer we will keep it as our use of it has decreased so much over the past two years. It's there for the occasional convenience, but it would probably be cost effective to use taxis or hire an electric car when needed, rather than maintain a vehicle of our own, adding to our domestic carbon footprint and local pollution to no good purpose. With the planet in danger, this is no time to be sentimental about such things. Plus it's only a matter of time before Clare's advancing glaucoma will stop her from driving. Would I keep a car, just for myself then? Or just in case? I don't think so. The world will be a different place in any case, by the time I get home.