I took the funeral service for a Ely nonogenarian this afternoon. Her family came from far and wide, including a son from Australia. One of her grandsons wrote and read his own tribute, which was both appreciative and humorous. She'd been in a home for the last five years, suffering from dementia. Different family members spoke about their conversations with her, and her being fully present and so much her old self, and yet when asked by a fellow resident who her guests were would say: "I haven't a clue." She didn't recognise her own daughter, because the memory she retained wasn't of a seventy year old woman, but of the much younger child and adult. How the mind plays tricks.
Yet, the essential loving communion between people who have been close to each others remains a reality even when the factual knowledge is jumbled, faded or out of date. People in their dotage speak of the presence of dead relatives and parents, and indeed speak to them on times. They may not realise the others are dead, or they have forgotten - yet the bonds of affection which nurtured and strengthened them at different times in life are still there, making them who they are. We exist by, in and for relationships. And through relationships with God and each other our network of life extends from here into the beyond.
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