I officiated at a funeral this morning, at Thornhill Crematorium. Last Sunday's pastoral visit to the next of kin left me not knowing how many people would attend. About two dozen people were there, and few of them were interested in engaging with me, as is often the case. Engaging with each other also seemed problematic as well. Moving beyond showing respect for the deceased to being reconciled with each other is a journey that's difficult to take, and many are reluctant to take it.
Apart from the carefully chosen prayers of the funeral liturgy, it was difficult to know what to say that would help everyone involved, when as it seemed, relationship with the deceased was for each of them the point of contention. A priest cannot any longer compel anyone to go some place they don't want to go. The priest's presence and role is not fully understood, yet it is tolerated and to an extent trusted to help people through a rite of passage which they themselves find it difficult to place properly within the context of what their lives mean to them. So, I come away yet again in the absence of any feedback, wondering if I have been of service to anyone.
Having shared things that matter most to me in life, I have to trust that God will take and use this to enable everyone to move on, learn and grow, accepting that I may never know if this made a difference to anyone.
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