Creativity gap

I woke up early yesterday morning from a strange panic nightmare about moving out of St Michael's College. It left me feeling rattled for the rest of the day. In an effort to discharge some of the dream's negative energy, I had a go at levelling and stabilising the paving slabs I'd laid for the new garden shed. I guess the exercise was good for me, even if it did leave me feeling slightly stiff. Note to self: must do more exercise. Then, I went into the office for a couple of hours, to compile documents for the VAT authorities to re-register with them, as they had lost our details. Owain came in to chat with Ashley and I about the Company's public profile. It's good to bring an objective analytical mind to bear on the issues we deal with from time to time.

I woke early again this morning - or so it felt like. It's not that early, just that it's the sun rises later, but this time I woke up thinking about the poetry I'd written but not yet published on my poetry blog page. So, I got up, switched on and had a look. The first thing that surprised me was that the latest posting was from four years ago, and it didn't belong there at all. It was a piece I'd written for my previous blog 'Edge of the Centre', and posted in the wrong place. When I checked the other, it was apparent that I'd only half corrected my error, for the posting was in both the wrong and the right place, very much a symptom of being under pressure, as I was in the run up to retirement.

Since then, I've only written four poems, now posted. All my creative energy has gone into taking photos and journalling. Occasionally a line or a phrase comes to me, but doesn't materialise into the effort to grow them into a poem. Editing my prose takes enough time, and the discipline of doing that has improved over the past few years. Telling stories, however, is easier than painting an insight or image with a few words - which is the kind of poetry writing that appeals to me. But then, I make very little music these days, and spend a lot more time in silence instead. I just have to follow the inspiration, after all there's nothing to prove to anyone any more.