I didn't venture far yesterday, except to buy a printer cartridge from a shop on the way into town. I was expecting to meet with the wedding couple again in the evening to complete unfinished business from yesterday to enable us to get started properly, but the call came too late to act upon, and again we had to re-schedule for the day of the wedding - too close for comfort in the event of irregularities in my book.
Anyway I walked to the Balcon for a ten o'clock rendezvous and all was quickly resolved. I then went to the church shop and hung around there and Rosie's bar for an hour or so. I bought a cool loose fitting tee shirt in the shop to exchange for my clerical shirt until it was time for the wedding, then went for a walk, then sat in El Salvador for a while, then sat in the shade near the sea for a while, passing the time until it was time to change back and go on duty.
There were a hundred and fifty guests for the wedding, with an unusual predominance of younger couples with children under ten, contemporaries, if not relations of the couple. So, by all accounts there were fifteen bridesmaids, mostly under ten, plus several page boys, who were especially good at looking after the younger little girls, and four groomsmen. It was a mammoth feat of organisation, causing headaches for the wedding arrangers, but quite apart from the splendour of the occasion, it was a congenial and orderly family occasion with few tears and wails. Word had got out about the promise of a spectacle, and several church people turned up discreetly to watch, and I hope admire.
There was a twenty strong local community choir, which sang beautifully a classic repertoire of choral music, almost a dozen pieces, apparently chosen by the groom, plus three popular hymns. Mine was the only mishap as I skipped one choir piece, distracted momentarily, but the conductor was quick witted in concealing my error.
The best moment was when the six month old daughter of the couple was brought up to the altar to be included in the nuptial blessing. After the group family cuddle, the child gave me a huge beaming grin as I blessed them. "The Lord make his face to shine upon you ..." comes to mind. Yes, that open look of radiant love from the infant was like looking into the face of God. Exhausted though I was at the intensity of it all, this made my day.
For many hard working people with cash to spare, sinking a large amount of money into arranging a wedding and reception in a place far from one's home base is an interesting phenomenon, facilitated by budget airlines, tour packages and professional wedding organisers. The wedding package is yet another commodity for well-off consumers that wouldn't have existed thirty years ago. A much older generation brought up in real austerity, often married on a shoe-string budget puzzles over this. What's the point and purpose, when the money (or credit) could be put to better use? Needless to say, I've been reflecting on this, and trying to evaluate the phenomenon.
First, it has little to do with traditional institutional religion. Yet, people alienated from the church and the demands they perceive it makes upon them and their behaviour, still find significance in making solemn vows before the presence of an Authority infinitely higher than the State.
Secondly, far more couples want their families and friends to be with them, than want to elope and plight their troth in semi-privacy. The making of a bonding journey as family and friends, with all the costly demands this may entail, to celebrate a marital commitment, is a reflection of the value still placed on family life and dedication. Perhaps those taking it seriously are prepared to invest more, in reaction against the perceived threat from all the forces that devalue traditional marriage and family life. It's not a political campaign, but a popular consumer response.
Thirdly, venues that conjure with the imagination - beaches, castles, terraces with grand vistas etc. - appeal more than many traditional sacred spaces which no longer inspire with higher thoughts the way they were intended to. God in the beauty of the ordinary wins over against God in sacred space. It's a symptom of priestood no longer able to commend what it exists to serve. The church senses that despite the questionable morality of conspicuous consumption involved in foreign weddings, there is an underlying affirmation of what matters most, the lasting bonds of affection we need inorder to survive in this mobile often impersonal world. Perhaps if we can let that teach us about what people really need and value, we can breathe new life into the same old social rituals on our doorsteps.
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