Panic

Last night I forgot to take the statin I'm supposed to take every other day, so I took it when I woke up this morning. After taking my blood pressure pill the light headed effect was worse than it was on previous days and it was not easy to think straight and get on with the day. In the post, a couple of copies of report letters sent to the GP surgery by the Advanced Clinical Pharmacist, who discussed medication with me last week, plus a couple of blood sample mail bags for me to take to St David's hospital for blood tests on separate days next week. All well and good, but I felt I needed to query an instruction with the Pharmacist.

I went to St David's hospital after breakfast to find out how I could contact him. I thought I took the letters with me, and panicked when I arrived there to present the contents of the letter with my query and couldn't find one of them. I'd left it at home inadvertently. I wanted to know about making an appointment, and how to go about it, and I wanted to check I had understood what I was meant to do, given that I'd already reduced the frequency of taking the statins. The instruction read as if I was still meant to be on the daily dose for the first blood test, and then reduce it for the second. Very confusing. The staff member who dealt with me was unhelpful, and unconcerned that I was in a state because I thought I'd lost a letter. I still don't know how I can contact the Pharmacist as it's not clear from the letters received whose team he belongs to and how he can be contacted. I walked home disconcerted, my leg muscles stiff and reluctant to relax, due to the statin.

The other letter for me in the post was from HMRC, stating that I had an unpaid tax demand from last year's tax return as the system was unable to take the amount owing via the tax coding, perhaps I don't earn enough taxable income to cover the amount outstanding. I set about paying my due through the HMRC website, only to find that accessing my account has become more complex than before with extra layers of security for registration for a Government Gateway account. This is where I came unstuck. I don't know why. Not understanding how to proceed put me into panic mode for a second time in the day, the stress pushed up my blood pressure and my nose started to bleed, so the tax bill is still unpaid. Owain was helpful, and referred me to a live support line for help to get the job done. With slow memory and a swimming head trashing my concentration,  I find it so distressing if I don't understand or lose my way in a complex process.

Clare had an eye appointment this morning in UHW followed by a post hip replacement check-up down the Bay. I started preparing vegetables for lunch when I got home, and didn't notice veggie sausages waiting to be cooked in the fridge. Instead, I took a couple of haddock fillets out of the freezer and thawed them. It took far too long, but that didn't matter, as Clare hadn't arrived home. I left a plate of cooked veg on top of the steamer pan, and the uncooked haddock stayed in the fridge to continue thawing. A rather chaotic way to serve lunch, made worse by the chaos in my head from low blood sugar and fatigue. It was late afternoon when I went out for another walk to clear my head and calm down before supper. At least it wasn't raining and it was neither cold nor windy.

In the evening news, Britain is sending fighter jets to Qatar, and HMS Dragon to Cyprus to help defend against Iranian missile and drone attacks. Britain is being criticised for its poor military contribution in any case. Years of under-investment in the UK's armed forces is exposed by its inadequate response to this current crisis. The Prime Minister continues to field criticism about Britain's cautious response to taking military action. 

Trump chose to initiate a conflict with Iran. The US Congress debated whether to endorse the President's action. The vote was in Trump's favour. Just. Starmer dared question the legality of acting without a formal declaration of war, but if attacked, military action in defence of Britain's interests can be taken. There has to be an agreed understanding of war aims above and beyond defence, to justify a commitment to armed conflict. It's not clear what Trump's war aims are. He seems to be making it up as he goes along. Enough to confuse allies and adversaries alike. The Iranian elite is about to anoint Khamenei's son to succeed him as Supreme Leader. Trump says he wants to pick Iran's new leader. It's laughable but also sinister. Israel is still attacking Hezbollah in Lebanon, as well as joining America in destroying Iran's ability to defend itself or attack, and thousands are dead as a result.