Truce over

A comfortably warm good night's sleep and I woke up feeling clear and sharp, but again the medication made me feel drowsy, slightly unsteady. I posted today's WhatsApp link to Morning Prayer on YouTube before getting up for breakfast. I left for the Eucharist at St Catherine's in what I thought was enough time to be punctual I arrived a couple of minutes late, despite walking at what I thought was a brisk pace. Does this drowsiness affect my sense of pace as well as slow down my reactions? 

We were a dozen at the service. I bought courgettes grown in the church garden afterwards. I made an effort to walk home at a brisk pace and noticed I wasn't quite so drowsy when I got home, so I took charge of cooking lunch - fish with a big yellow courgette along with new potatoes and carrots. You can't get much fresher than that!

Rachel called us at lunchtime, and we chatted for an hour. She was driving north on a desert road at first light. She's investigating a possible move to Washington State for a live-in carer's job that will enable her to perform gigs when she's off duty. It's so hot in Arizona that the hours before sunrise are the coolest time of day for safe driving. It's cooler up north, the climate will suit her better. I hope it works out for her.

After church I couldn't find my reading spec's despite searching high and low for them. I found the case for them hanging from my sleeveless jacket top pocket, and deduced that when I knelt for Communion I was holding on to the Communion rail as my legs were stiff and unsteady, I may have expelled them from the pocket without realising. I called Clive to borrow a key to retrieve them, but he insisted on hunting for them himself as he lives close by. Two other pairs of reading glasses were retrieved from the choir stall where I was sitting, but neither of them belonged to me. They are probably hiding in plain sight on the sanctuary floor. I'll pick them up tomorrow when the church is open for choir practice.

I went out for exercise late afternoon and called in Tesco's to buy some flowers for Clare. It was just about bearable at 30C. I don't know how Rachel copes in 40C heat, it's not her natural environment. She prefers real fresh air to air conditioning. I went out again after supper and walked and down Llandaff Fields. The warm evening air was pleasantly fragrant with the scent of lime trees and mown grass.

Ships using the Straight of Hormuz have been fired on. America has retaliated by striking coastal targets in Iran. Truce talks have stopped and war has resumed with Trump declaring the cease-fire is over, the aim being to degrade Iran's ability to prevent shipping from transiting the Straight. I don't suppose it will be long before American allies in the Gulf are attacked again by Iran. How long before Congress reacts to the huge expense of this aggression by refusing to approve further military action? How long before the price of oil rises and exacerbates the economic crisis already precipitated by Trump's war?

 

Patronage under scrutiny

Another warm day under a clear blue sky. I slept for long enough though not well enough to improve sleep quality. I forgot to rub my strained shoulder joint with anti inflammatory gel before bed. It hurt each time I got up for a pee in the night and as I returned to sleep. Getting started after breakfast and medication was daunting due to drowsiness that's hard to shake off. Concentration becomes an effort. Clare's study group meeting this morning was thrown into chaos as Fran fell and broke her wrist and needed to go to A&E. It meant others couldn't attend, who usually get a lift from her, except Ruth who came with her own car. 

The Council's digital parking permit app, proved unworkable on Clare's phone, likewise the telephone payment service. Clare emailed the parking permit office to report this. This digital permit system discriminates against any person who has difficulty using phone apps for whatever reason, and there is no alternative. It is possible to park 5-10 minutes walk away in a place where there's a physical parking meter, but this  discriminates against people with mobility limitations. It's scandalous.

I went to Tesco's for groceries after lunch. It was hard going with a loaded rucksack, walking with stiff legs in the heat. It was 23C this afternoon and likely to continue warm for days to come. The drowsiness and slight unsteadiness on my feet didn't leave me until mid-afternoon. I was ready for a walk by then, and walked for nearly an hour before supper. It wasn't enough to complete my daily step goal, so I went out again afterwards, ostensibly to buy some bananas, which I forgot about earlier. I feel I have to push back against the awful lethargy the medication produces, even if it means being patient with myself and waiting until my head clears enough for me to feel safe on my feet.

Nigel Farage has been under public scrutiny over financial support received for his political campaigning from Christopher Harborne, a crypto billionaire investing in military technology. It now emerges that Harborne was also quietly generous to Boris Johnson during his time as a parliamentarian. He had vested interests in advocating Brexit as well as being a stake holder in the defence industry. 

Farage resigned his parliamentary seat intending to stand as a Reform candidate in a by-election he forces, anticipating a populist show of support by being re-elected. The other political parties have declared they won't stand against him. If he is returned to Parliament, he cannot evade being held to account over the issues that face him at present. He may end up being deprived of his seat anyway. Another of his financial backers has been convicted of fraud. Farage frames himself as an anti-establishment candidate, but will voters see through his posturing and endorse his effort to ensure a wealthy elite retain power without accountability in the shady background of public life?

 

Foolish Meddling

A cloudy day with a mild wind. I slept well having got to bed earlier than usual after reading for a while. I wasn't spared the medication impact however. I read about the way the Dipyridamole clot dispersal drug acts. It seems it lowers blood pressure and can cause dizziness. It makes me feel drowsy if I've slept badly, light headed not quite dizzy, but more like it's interfering with my sensory awareness, detaching me from my environment. It's unnerving and unpleasant. 

I didn't feel like going out, and spent the morning exchanging emails with Sara about sleep quality. Clare made curried veg with chick peas and rice for lunch. I made an effort to fight drowsiness and not doze off after lunch, preparing the Wednesday Morning Prayer text for the week after next, before going for a walk, thinking about a biblical reflection on Luke's account of the Jesus' apocalyptic teaching, which I committed to writing after supper while Clare was out at choir practice.

Trump has turned his attention to meddling in the disciplinary affairs of the football World cup, after an American player was penalised then suspended from playing in another game. World football authority FIFA has lifted the suspension after Trump expressed his opinion that it was 'unfair'. Adherence to the rules of the game is essential to honourable football matches. Not that players don't try and bend the rules or find other ways to get away with breaking them. Fair play relies on respect for the referee's authority and the agreed rules convention. 

He places himself above the rules, he thinks of himself as the ultimate arbiter. I don't suppose there are many prepared to challenge him while World Cup football is based in the Americas, too much is invested in the success of this sporting spectacular. It will be interesting to see what happens when it's all over and nobody feels the need to appease this fake messiah any longer. I hope that by that time, it's possible the mid term elections deliver a verdict on him which will drain him of all authority to play messiah, in every sphere of influence he thinks he has, one way or another.

Millions of Iranians have rallied for the funeral of Ayatollah Khamenei in Tehran, an immense show of solidarity despite all the country has suffered. Iran still has the strategic advantage, despite Trump and Netanyahu's four months of warmongering. 

There's no doubt that the Islamic Republic is a cruel tyrannical regime. If anything, regime change has resulted in an even more hard line regime dictating terms to the world and Iran's people, not just America and Israel. This war has cut off fertilizer supplies through the Straight of Hormuz to some of the world's most needy countries, threatening harvests for 45 million people. Will Trump brag about this to his MAGA supporters?

Losing track

A warm and windy day under a thin layer of cloud. I slept well, over eight hours and don't understand why I was left feeling drowsy. We went to the Eucharist at St Catherine's after breakfast. Yesterday's Summer Fayre raised over three thousand pounds we were told, and the turnout was remarkably good, helped by the fine weather. A young girl about eleven years old read the Epistle, a difficult passage to make sense of, from St Paul's letter to the Romans. She did well, and despite stumbling on one really tricky sentence, she stopped and corrected herself without faltering. I was impressed, and told her so over coffee afterwards.

A quick visit to the Co-op for wine and kefir on the way home, then we had tasty filleted sardines poached with a little olive oil for lunch. I couldn't shake off the drowsiness and dozed in my armchair for half an hour while my smart watch charged. When I went out for a walk I forgot to put the watch back on and had to resort to my phone's pedometer app to check how far I walked. I try to cover five miles each day to make sure I make the physical effort on those days when my leg muscles are tired and stiff or drowsiness and lethargy deprive me of motivation to exercise. I walked in Llandaff Fields and in Thompson's Park with a tea break in between. I know how much I need to keep moving for the good of my heart and physical mobility. It's hard to get back if you lose the habit.

After supper, my head cleared sufficiently enough to read another chapter from 'El Amor in los Tiempos del Colera'. It's slow going. Sometimes I need to savour the humour and insight of Gabriel Garcia's Marquez writing, looking up as few as possible words I don't know. I'd rather do that than buy an English translation. This way it's more of a voyage of discovery.

Another anniversary day to recall

A warm day 21C with a breeze from the west driving clouds across the sky. Shoulder pain robbed me of an hour's sleep again. Despite the heat I don't sweat enough during the day to reduce the frequency of having to get up to empty my bladder. I long for a really decent night of uninterrupted sleep. 

It's Kath and Anto's 34th wedding anniversary today. Lovely memories of a big family gathering in Pontyclun. It was the first time a video of such a family occasion was made by Brian the husband of my cousin Ros. It wasn't long before Clare's mother died in that year when we moved to Geneva. How few of the people in that video are still alive. I found the digital album of photos taken with my old Praktika SLR camera. Lovely photos showing how sharp photos taken with a post war Zeiss lens and Kodak Ektachrome film could be.

Niece Veronica posted video of a wildfire in her district of Catalunya. A concert performance her choir was about to give had to be cancelled, along with the meal for a hundred to follow. Bomberós crews fighting the fire benefited from the banquet instead. A nice touch.

It's St Catherine's Summer Fayre today. Clare baked a fruit loaf and a cake yesterday, and took them down to church before lunch. We went to the Fayre mid afternoon. The church grounds were busy, noisy with kids being entertained, a good atmosphere. I wasn't best equipped to enjoy the event as brain fatigue sensitized me to the chaos of sound and movement and stressed me out, so I went home and tried to rest. Later I walked in the quiet of Llandaff Fields and tried to clear my foggy brain with little success. 

We had a chat with Rachel after supper, which cheered us up. I made a video slideshow for next Wednesday's Morning Prayer and uploaded to YouTube, then got ready for bed, hoping for a better night. 

Schism

Cloudy and mild to start the day, but a warm wind blew away the clouds and sent the temperature up to 23C. It wasn't humid overnight. I slept quite well and woke up with a clear head. If only I could succeed in getting a succession of good nights of sleep I think it would boost my recovery. Often I feel as if I'm at a standstill just treading water but not sinking so to speak. Having said that, others say they notice an improvement in me. It's a battle against physical and mental tiredness. Making sure not to skimp on sleep time and quality is vital.

Yesterday the Vatican declared the traditionalist Catholic faction known as the Society of St Pius the tenth (aka SSPX) to be in schism and excommunicate for ordaining four bishops without papal mandate. Pope Leo appealed to the group not to do so for the sake of Christian unity, but they went ahead anyway. Based at Econe in the Swiss Valais, SSPX started as a fraternity of traditionalist clergy who opposed the liberal drift of second Vatican Council teachings, rejecting the Missa Normativa in favour of the old Tridentine Latin rite of Mass. 

Pope Benedict didn't suppress SSPX but made concessions to avoid schism, and appease conservative Catholics. Fifty years later, the traditionalist Bishops associated with SSPX are dying off. New bishops were needed to continue a mission extending beyond conservative clergy to a growing group of laity. Unilateral action by SSPX establishing independent leadership sets up a 'church within the church' an act of schism.  

It's interesting to note that Switzerland was one of the places where there was schism in reaction to the declaration of the dogma of Papal Infallibility in 1870, leading to the foundation of the Christian Catholic Church of Switzerland and the Old Catholic Church of the Utrecht Union. Both are strongly associated with the Anglican Communion. Conservative evangelicals within Anglicanism, having taken a strong position against liberal theology, oppose gay marriage and women's ordination, some of them siding with Anglo-Catholic traditionalists, but for different reasons. Maybe schismatic moves are inevitable on the long term journey of Christians learning to live together with differences in a world whose agenda is different from how it was in centuries past. Adherence to religious faith and support for historic institutional churches continues to decline. Is this exacerbated by lack of unity and consensus in witness and mission? At least Christians aren't persecuting each other under state patronage any longer, with a few exceptions maybe. 

Christian factions today may or may not discuss their differences in a way that commends faith to others. Seekers after a life of faith may fail to find the discussion relevant, meaningful or attractive. Our world is going through a huge phase of cultural upheaval, questioning and redefining meaning and purpose in all kinds of ways. Can Churches and interpreters of Christianity engage constructively in dialogue in this secular materialistic ethos, and move beyond talking among themselves about things that are of little concern to others? 

Clare cooked tagliatelli with a veggie sugo for lunch. I don't know why, but I started to feel tired after the meal and slept for half an hour. It didn't do me much good however. When I walked to the Post Office to bank a cheque I felt a bit unsteady. My balance and strength were OK but my legs felt wobbly, as if I was close to the end of a long distance run. I sat down to rest and dozed off for another twenty minutes. I've been sleepy headed all day for no reason I can understand. It's perplexing and frustrating.

After supper, I watched another couple of episodes of 'Panda', uninspiring detective romantic comedy fiction. Then bed. 

Inconvenient shopping

A warm day with a blue sky. I didn't sleep well as my strained right shoulder was painful when I moved in bed, disturbing my rest. At least my head was clear. I had a dental appointment at ten, and took a taxi to get to Llandaff North as I wasn't prepared to rely on buses. The taxi deposited me at the dental practice in good time, and I was seen immediately. I had to report to the dentist about my stroke medication. Apart from de-scaling, my teeth didn't require any other attention. I didn't have to wait long for a bus to take me to Llandaff Fields, but it took me twice as long for the return trip, as temporary traffic signals were in use adding to rush hour congestion. 

Owain returned to Bristol shortly after I returned, needing to make the most of his few remaining days of leave. It's pleasing to see him in good form at the moment, enjoying his job and success with his techno record label. He's involved with his apartment block tenants association in a technically difficult to navigate situation regarding property management. His analytic skills acquired as a civil servant are proving useful, and giving him confidence in supporting a tenants' initiative. I'm proud of him.

Clare cooked a chick pea curry for lunch. I went to Tesco's afterwards to buy a few items on her shopping list. She wanted some baking powder, and although she showed me the empty container, it was a challenge to locate it on the 'Baking' supplies shelf. Sometimes I have difficulty identifying products if shelf position or label design has changed. If I've seen something I usually remember it. Today I came across a printed label on a shelf, but no baking powder visible behind it just a space which looked empty but wasn't in fact. The cardboard tray holding half a dozen packs appeared empty until I bent down and peered into the void behind the label. The sole remaining pack was there, right at the back of the shelf, and I had to pull out the almost empty tray to retrieve the remaining one. 

Little details of stock shelf management like this can add to the frustration of shopping, especially if you're visually impaired or have problems bending down to look. I've had similar issues in small Co-op stores where products are packed on shelves at levels that make it difficult to identify what you're searching for, due to the way they are arranged. It must be hard for wheel chair or buggy users to go shopping. People have to stand and stare, maybe bend down and block aisles that are too narrow. It's not a spacious big supermarket issue, but a disadvantage of mini-markets and convenience stores.

I walked in Llandaff Fields for an hour before supper and afterwards watched the last couple of episodes of 'Blanca'. An interesting idea, to have a blind police woman with extraordinary skills in listening and detecting what is happening. The background story however, was convoluted, increasingly melodramatic adding nothing of real interest to the story of a highly functional disabled woman in an all male workplace. The acting was wooden, more an exercise in posing before the camera in scenic settings with anguished faces. It was followed by the first ever episode of 'Astrid - Murder in Paris'. Oh no, not again! It must be time for bed.