Drought

I slept fairly well despite inevitable interruptions from a full bladder. Another cloudy humid day.  A state of drought has been declared in half of England's counties, and in North Wales.  There's been virtually no measurable rainfall for two months. It's not only South West France and Spain that are fighting huge forest fires. There are wild fires in Suffolk and in the Cairngorms too. 

I was awake in time to say goodbye to Owain as he left the house to attend a work meeting in Cardiff HMRC. I felt light headed but reasonably clear. After taking the morning meds I didn't feel nearly as terrible as I did yesterday, my sensory awareness wasn't as blunted the way it was before yesterday's acupuncture. Even so, coping with the light headedness made walking feel unsteady, although I was steady on my feet.

Meanwhile my nostril wound has dried up even more and shed the scab covering its surface, which means I can now breathe through both nostrils at the same time. This will make a difference to my ability to relax in sleep.

I went for a blood test appointment at the surgery after breakfast. On arrival, I was sent straight to the treatment room, having been recognised approaching the surgery from an upstairs window by one of the practice nurses!  I was told that I'd get a message by SMS to advise me of the result, and of the next step.

For months we've been unable to install a new toilet bidet as the one we bought is designed for American plumbing. Investigating the correct piping adapter to connect it to the mains has been frustrating. Rachel, bless her, has set about investigating how this may be done, making enquiries of local hardware stores

Clare and I walked to Thompson's Park for a cup of tea mid afternoon. The central garden containing the statue 'Joyance' by William Goscombe John is full of a variety of brightly coloured plants and tall golden grasses at the moment. It's a delight to behold.

After supper, Rachel made a batch of hummus according to her own recipe with a subtle touch of cayenne and paprika highlighting the chick pea flavour. My head cleared enough for me to go out and walk for ten minutes to get some cool fresh air. The western sky was tinged bright pink by the setting sun. Worth making the effort to go out and see before going to bed somewhat refreshed.

Acupuncture to the rescue

I woke up from quite a good night's sleep feeling fresh and clear, but once I'd taken my morning meds, the world closed in on me again, slowing down my thinking and perception and undermining my ability to get on with normal life. It's just as well that I had decided to give up posting my Wednesday Morning Prayer YouTube video slot. I felt too ill to attend the midweek Eucharist. Rachel commented that she thought the medication was too strong, to be having such a bad effect.

I had an acupuncture appointment with Peter after a lunch of delicious fresh mackerel. Rachel walked with me to Parkwood Clinic to be sure I reached there safely. I walked there without difficulty, but felt as if I was enclosed in a bubble that prevented me from sensing my environment properly.

Peter talked through the impact on me of my stay in A&E as he treated me. He too thinks my prescribed medication is too strong and could be having such a negative effect. It's something I need to discuss with my GP soon. By the time I left the clinic the sensation of being trapped in a bubble reduced considerably. When I got home I promptly fell asleep in my arm chair for nearly an hour. 

Owain arrived in time for supper. He has a work meeting tomorrow in Cardiff, which enables him to stay overnight with the added blessing of spending time with Rachel. It's great to have them both here with us at the same time. I just wish I felt better enough to savour the pleasure of their company.

Rachel's homecoming

I woke up clear and sharp after the best night's sleep I've had in months. I was only awake for an hour and a half out of nine in bed. I had intended to take a precautionary beta blocker before going to sleep but didn't, partly from tiredness, but my nostril wound wasn't as inflamed or threatening to leak so I relaxed into sleep easily. What a difference sleep quality makes. Although my head was clearer to start with and the morning meds didn't affect me badly at first, by lunchtime the usual effect of brain fog hit me hard, slowing me down, depriving me of the ability to sustain concentration for long, exhausting me.

Rachel flew home overnight from Phoenix for our diamond wedding anniversary on the sixth of August. She arrived at Heathrow at eleven and arrived in Cardiff at two thirty. It was so frustrating not to feel well enough to go and meet her at the coach station but Clare did. Such a joy to welcome her home again, looking lovely and brimming with positive energy despite her loss of sleep.

Apart from a short walk up to Penhill Road and back, and walking inside the house, I've not felt well enough to exercise fully today, and have spent most of my time sitting in my armchair feeling unsteady and deprived of the kind of alertness needed to move confidently outdoors. I can't help feeling that despite stopping the nose bleed, my stay in hospital did me more harm than good.

After supper, Rachel and I walked up and down Llandaff Fields, enjoying the cool evening air, catching up on our lives and hopes. Then early bed. Rachel having to face travel tiredness and jet lag, and exhaustion on my part. 

Western Europe forests ablaze

I slept a bit better, grateful that Clare took on the task of queuing at eight to get me a GP appointment. It meant I didn't have to worry about waking up early to make the call, but it was an effort to get myself out of the house and down to the surgery on time, as the meds were taking effect, making me feel light headed and woozy. Although I was punctual I had to wait twenty minutes to be seen as a person in need of more urgent attention was ahead of me. The outcome of my appointment, a blood test appointment to check if I've become anaemic due to blood loss. My reaction to beta blockers seems to be expected - exhaustion.

Clare cooked thick swordfish steaks from Ashton's for lunch. They go well with sweet and sour red cabbage. A pleasant surprise. I slept for an hour in my armchair after eating, then went out and re-stocked our fruit supply in the Co-op. Then I slept in the chair again for another hour. Is this all part of recovery from the awful experience I had in A&E?

The sky was overcast for much of the afternoon. When I went out for a breath of fresh air as the sun was setting there was a fine drizzle brought down from the north west by a cooling wind. The contrast between this and the heat trapped in the house by recent hot weather was refreshing. I didn't have the energy to go far. When my head feels trapped in this soporific state, I'm not sure how far I can trust my body to walk and not stumble.

The high wind that has driven disastrous wildfires across western France and Spain has abated enough since yesterday for firefighters to work on making fire breaks to  protect towns and cities within ten miles of the blaze. The air temperature is 40C and the behaviour of flames unpredictable in turbulent hot air.  Three hundred and sixty thousand people have been evacuated, wearing a face mask to protect against smoke pollution is a necessity. The environmental damage to regional agriculture is likely to be serious. It may take months to extinguish forest fires completely. The reality of climate change, denied or ignored for so long is now unavoidable. President Macron speaks of this as the most difficult fire situation to face France since World War Two.

After supper, we watched a fascinating edition of 'Fake or Fortune' - real life detective stories about works of art whose origin and history are doubtful according to experts familiar with the the work of a painter to whom a work is attributed. Scientific research into materials used and historical research into associated documentary evidence is used to make a case for the authenticity of a work. It's always worth watching. Early to bed again tonight.

Reason for gratitude

Another awful night of lost sleep, despite going to bed early. I was light headed and drowsy by the time I'd eaten breakfast, taken my meds  and got to St Catherine's for the Eucharist, fighting the feeling of being unwell, needing the holy normality of receiving the Sacrament at Sunday Mass. A senior churchgoer asked me how I was. I said how I was feeling. "Then why did you come?" I was asked. 

If you don't know why you commit yourself to give God thanks for everything at 'all times and in all places',  There's no answer to that. Feeling well, or feeling in the mood doesn't come into it. Life is hard going at the moment, but it's still to be received with gratitude from God.

Fr Rhys gave us a lift home after church, giving me a moment to update him on my condition. After lunch I went to bed for an hour, not that it did me much good. Shoulder pain kept me awake. Then I walked down to the Half Way and back for some fresh air, but it didn't do anything to clear my head. I went out again after supper and walked around the block for ten minutes. Still no change. I sat in my armchair and dozed some more until it was time to go to bed properly, defeated by this strange mental exhaustion.

Stuck

Last night was less worse than recent ones with three hours awake and seven hours asleep. The soporific effect of today's meds wasn't as pronounced to start with. It wasn't quite as hot and humid and that makes a difference. The nostril wound continues to heal slowly. I suppose the beta blocker med stabilises the blood pressure and reduces blood leakage, but the side effects are troubling, including the heart skipping a beat which hasn't happened quite so noticeably before. My leaky aortic valve is normally quiet and has rarely drawn attention to itself until I started on the latest medication.

America and Iran have paused exchanges of fire in the Straight of Hormuz to make room for diplomatic moves. Oman, with coastline in the Straight and an interest in negotiations about safe passage for maritime traffic, has taken the initiative in discussions about managing sea traffic. Iran laid sea mines in the Straight to assert control over traffic lanes, but with the loss of much of its navy is not in a position to manage them. A tanker attempting transit without Iranian authorisation has been blown up by a mine, but this could have been accidental, as the minefield isn't properly managed. It depends on who is telling the story. The Americans continue to embargo Iranian shipping to put pressure on negotiations. The stalemate continues.

Clare cooked Saturday breakfast pancakes, with the added pleasure of strawberry jam she made yesterday. She left me to cook fish for lunch while she went shopping in town. By the time she returned my head was foggy as is often the case before I've eaten, but it didn't clear up and drowsiness took hold of me and stayed with me all afternoon. I don't know why, and don't know what to do with myself. It really impairs my ability to carry on with routine life. 

I made an effort to concentrate on transcribing a couple of pages of my Ulster travel diary. I began doing this starting from an optical character recognition of a scanned page, but it wasn't accurate enough to be useful. The original typescript version proved more effective to work from. I could have done a text to speech version with the android phone app, but it's totally locked into an American AI boosted version of what it computes you're saying. Annoyingly useless.

I waited until mid afternoon to go out for a short walk and again as the sun was setting, altogether half my usual daily distance. My legs were stiff and I felt as if I was sleep walking. On my way to bed before sunset.

Stench of wildfires

Another poor night's sleep, three hours awake out of nine in bed. Dropping off, then my snores jerking me awake, or my shallow breathing as I start to drift off and waking up panicking from lack of air. Waking up with  my mouth and throat dried out in the heat, due to drifting off breathing with my mouth open. Sheer misery. Clare went shopping in town while I recovered over breakfast. Another inactive morning resting as much as I can, avoiding getting over-heated. 

I cooked trout with blueberries for lunch, a tasty combination with rice, french beans and carrots. I stayed in to avoid the heat after lunch, relaxing quietly and sleeping in my armchair for a couple of hours. It may be the only way I can recover from the over stimulation and exhaustion of the past two weeks.

I stayed indoors until after supper, when it started to cool down, then walked a circuit of Llandaff Fields as the sun reached the horizon. Owain called for a chat while I was walking. He's been to Newcastle and back for a work team meeting today, starting at six this morning. He remarked how badly managed the train catering trolley service was, giving exclusive priority to the few first class customers at that hour.

As I walked, the smell of burning vegetation hung in the air, though there was no sign of smoke in the vicinity. A breeze brought the stench of fire from Blaenafon and Maerdy on the northerly edge of the South Wales coalfield plateau down into the city. France and Spain are suffering from more serious wildfires as a Europe wide heat wave continues to dry out trees and vegetation. Spain has declared a national emergency. Two separate fires have merged into one in the region of Madrid. 80,000 have been forced to evacuate a holiday area at Cap Ferret, west of Bordeaux. Firefighting teams and equipment have been brought in from Scandinavia to help.

Iran has warned of more reprisal attacks on US allies in the Gulf, including UK air bases in Britain and abroad from where American strikes are launched against Iranian military and civilian infrastructure. An Amazon data centre in Bahrain has been attacked by Iran. Last week Ukraine attacked a Russian consumer distribution centre with unsettling consequences for the Russian economy and morale. Iran seems to have borrowed the tactic in resisting the American onslaught. Ships using the Straight of Hormuz and Bab al Mandeb in the Red Sea are still being attacked by Yemeni Houthi forces, which have declared a naval blockade of Saudi Arabia. The Saudis have continued to export oil using land pipelines where they can as a workaround. The Saudi response to the blockade has been to bomb the Yemeni port city of Hodeidah, to protect its own interests. Trump calls the Saudis 'a great ally' though there is no formal alliance in place, just a beneficial trade in American military hardware which the Saudis can well afford to  pay for.

Six thousand seafarers are trapped in these waterways. American military might has so far failed to prevent Iranian backed militias from halting marine traffic. Iran has rejected a cease fire proposal made by Trump, and is preparing to discuss the war with representatives of Russia and China. Where will this lead?