Reflecting

Cloudy and humid at 20C today with the promise of rain. I hung a load of washing in the bathroom after breakfast, but rain didn't arrive until after lunch. I had a good night's sleep and started the day with a clear head. After taking the clot dispersal medication I noticed the light headed sensation develop. I previously associated this with tiredness or a clash with other medications. I think it's due to the impact of the slow release capsules on my stomach whether I've eaten or not.

Clare went by taxi to her study group in Penarth. With the house to myself, I recorded and edited Morning Prayer and Reflection for the week after next. It was impossible to escape intrusive background noise from vehicles in the street and banging from a loft conversion job going on a couple of doors away. This seems to have been going on daily for several weeks now. Audacity's noise reduction filters reduce some but not all of the background noise, unless you're an expert user, which I'm not, but I have found a way to remove the worst of it.

When Clare returned, she cooked a fish pie for lunch and then went out to a meditation group. I continued with the essay I started yesterday, then walked for an hour and a half before supper, finished writing it afterwards and sent a copy to Ali Gray. Goodness, that day passed quickly, it's sunset already.

A lifetime perspective on the environment

Cool and cloudy this morning. I slept fairly well though not well enough for me to feel clear headed when I got up. The irritating effect of clot dispersal medication on my bladder and bowels was worse than usual. It may be to do with a change in the rate at which blood cells disperse from the occipital lobe clot, due to heat or variation in blood pressure. The medication reacts to prevent these stray cells from degrading blood circulation. There may be no way to avoid the mildly toxic side effects which slow me down and take half a day to clear from my head.

I had a phone call after breakfast from one of the Stroke Association support team to inquire how I'd been during the red alert hot days. We discussed an assortment of matters relating to life in the aftermath of a stroke and reflected together on them. She thinks I've made progress in coming to terms with life that has a different set of limitations. It hasn't stopped me from being impatient with myself and constantly feeling that I'm running out of time to set my life in order. It's a side effect of running out of control I guess.

America and Iran keep exchanging strikes in the Straight of Hormuz. The number of ships passing through went down from seventy to forty one over the weekend. Truce talks are said to be continuing as the agreed Memorandum of Understanding contains a detailed agenda of issues on which negotiation between Iran and America is required. A change of location for the talks from Switzerland to Oman was announced by America stating it was at Iran's request. This was disavowed by Iran. American and Lebanese armies have agreed to work together to disarm Hezbollah in Israeli occupied south Lebanon. it's a precondition of Israeli withdrawal. This move has been denounced by Sunni Lebanese as a surrender to Israeli and American demands. No alternative proposal is offered to end the occupation or reunite the country.

Clare went shopping this morning and I attempted to finish a brief autobiographical essay I'm writing on the environmental legacy of the coal mining industry, I grew up with, and what this has to teach us. She called me when she was on her way back, giving me an opportunity to cook veggies for lunch so the fresh hake from Ashton's she brought home with her could be poached swiftly in olive oil to complete the meal with perfect timing.

I found walking was an effort when I went out to the park mid afternoon, my legs were stiff and tired and took a long time to warm up. I didn't push myself hard and wasn't breathless, but I needed to stop and sit on a park bench until the resistance in my muscles subsided. I may not be getting enough physical rest at night to recover from the previous day's activity. I'm not sure what to do about this. I'll talk to Peter about it at this week's acupuncture appointment.

I spent the evening checking and adding to the essay I started yesterday, reflecting on the destructive impact on the planet of industrialised mineral extraction. A slow job. It was dark by the time I finished, and definitely time for bed.

Futile escalation

A cooler night, making it easier to sleep, but my strained shoulder kept me awake more than my bladder. I didn't sleep for long enough and had to contend with persistent drowsiness into the afternoon. Maybe it's the restorative quality of sleep that's lacking. We went to the St Catherine's Eucharist. Fr Rhys celebrated the anniversary of his ordination anticipating the feast of St Peter the Apostle the traditional ordination day. The congregation was unaccountably half its usual size. There's no extreme heat warning today, it's breezy, 20C with bright sunshine delivering a mix of strong heat and cool gusts. It reminds me of alpine weather in early spring, thirty years ago. Glaciers melt more rapidly now as winter snow covering ancient ice doesn't last as long. 

Fighting has broken out again in the Straight of Hormuz, after an Iranian drone attack on a commercial vessel, asserting its control and ownership of the waterway, America responded by bombing oil export infrastructure and military targets in a vain attempt to force Iran to accept truce proposals. Iran retaliated by attacking Kuwait and Bahrain, where the US Navy's Middle East Headquarters has been significantly damaged. It's Iran's response to Trump's claim that future control of traffic through the Straight is in his hands. Confronted with Trump's bellicose rhetoric, Iran demonstrates its defiance militarily, adding to the anxieties of America's Gulf State allies. Escalation and threats of escalation can only undermine cease fire negotiations in the light of Iran's strategic advantage, possessing the Straight of Hormuz as its border.

Meanwhile, Israel has instigated a process involving the Lebanese army in disarming Hezbollah militias as part of returning full control of the country to its government. Will this work, after Israeli troops have displaced a million people, destroyed homes and killed more than eight thousand? The Lebanese government is too weak and divided to disarm Hezbollah on its own, but trusting Israel which has so forcibly deprived Lebanese people of their sovereignty is a lot to ask in these circumstances.

We had falafel with red cabbage and new potatoes for lunch. Afterwards I slept soundly for three quarters of an hour in my armchair but it didn't entirely dissipate the drowsiness, not even after walking in Llandaff Fields for another three quarters of an hour. I spent the evening until bed time watching a couple of episodes of 'Blanca' as I didn't have the energy for writing.

Interpreting

It's not quite so hot today at 24C but it's humid and cloudy. I didn't sleep so well as shoulder pain made it hard to relax into sleep, and get started after waking up late. Clare had already cooked pancakes and gone out shopping when I had breakfast. 

I spent the morning watching a video of the speaker Ali Gray at the Ty Mawr Associates Day conference with 'Eco-Anxiety'. She spoke about the climate crisis and the practical faith response that's possible for disciples of Christ. The audio responses from her listeners weren't loud enough to follow unfortunately. It was good that conversations and story telling were bound to emerge from such a group of participants. It led me to spending much of the day writing about my journey into understanding and helping others to understand about environmental concerns and human development.

Clare cooked ravioli for lunch. Afterwards I walked a couple of circuits of Llandaff Fields while thinking about what I wanted to reflect upon in telling my 'environmental' story. I've never seen myself as an activist, but as an educator interpreting scientific insight to people with little understanding of how scientific method works. This absorbed my slow thinking brain for the rest of the day until it was time for a breath of fresh air before bed.

Cooling down

Another hot and humid night soaked in sweat, sleeping in fits and starts, needing to drink plenty of water and slow to get started when I got up at nine. The sky is clear, the sun fiercely bright, it's 28C and rising. Blinds and curtains down, windows closed to prevent the in-flow of hot air as much as possible. Gulls cry out from the rooftops as if they are complaining about the heat. I trimmed my goatee as short as stubble when shaving this morning, hoping this will let my chin feel the benefit of the breeze if we get any today.

I cooked a savoury veg and lentil dish with rice for lunch, and then had a siesta to appease the tiredness that accumulates over a series of restless nights. Before going for a walk I finished reading John Doyle's novel 'Communion'. It segues between being the story of a lonely failed seminarian working as a steel works security guard at the time of the Port Talbot Passion Play in 2012, and a crime drama in which he is manipulated by a girl friend from his teenage years into being a 'useful idiot' in bomb plot logistics. 

She tells him her plan claiming the confidential seal of the confessional (though he isn't ordained and isn't licensed to hear confessions. He avoids betraying her confidence and extricates himself from her plot by destroying surveillance video and equipment in which they appear, then dumps his keys in the river while disguised as a character in the passion play, wearing liturgical vestments brought home from seminary. 

We are not told if the bomb goes off in the closed down steel works? We're not told if the security lodge gets blown up eliminating evidence of his action. He has found a way to do the right thing but we are offered no clue as to whether he finds satisfaction or fulfilment in this. The basic premiss is annoying, relying on a flawed idea about the discipline of the confessional. It's annoying not to find out if there's any possibility of relief proposed from loneliness or inability to make meaningful relationships. It's a bleak portrayal of existence in a world without hope that anything can ever change for the better.

There was a cooling breeze from the west, driving hot air eastwards, bringing welcome relief from the humidity, but remained warm inside a house that takes a while to cool down again after a week of hot weather. I

Double Earthquake in Venezuela

Despite the heat I was able to sleep and was awake in the night only for an hour, but I didn't feel rested after nine hours in bed. The lowest temperature in Bute Park last night was a record breaking 23.5C and higher daytime temperatures are expected above 35C today. Clare bought a couple of cheap fans to use. 

In the morning news, reports of a double earthquake in Venezuela with hundreds killed. Since Trump's removal of President Maduro from office, American emergency aid will be made available quicker than it might have been otherwise. Both houses of the American Congress have opposed continuing financial support for Trump's war against Iran. The impact on the American economy and huge military expenditure concerns Democrats and Republicans alike. Peace talks continue during the sixty day truce. Iran calls for Israel to withdraw from Lebanon, but Netanyahu persists in waging war against Iran backed Hezbollah, ignoring Trump's criticism of his action for putting the truce at risk. The Israeli American alliance is under strain while America and Iran negotiate, regardless of what Israel gets up to. Netanyahu's defence policy relies on attacking Iran and its allies. He relied on Trump's support for this, but making war didn't lead to regime change or Iranian defeat. Will Netanyahu survive much longer politically? The mess this war has made for Middle Eastern countries allied to America is leading them all to reassess relationships with Iran, America and Israel.

We stayed indoors this morning and went out after lunch, walking in the shade of the trees in Thompson's Park for half an hour. There was a breeze, which was cooling in the shade, but gusting hot in exposed streets, I couldn't stay out for long. 

A fledgling gull found its way into our garden. Not the best place to forage or take refuge. I opened the back gate and shooed it out of the flower bed into the lane with a sweeping brush. 

I went out again after supper and walked slowly for an hour stopping at benches often as my legs were unaccountably stiff. It was 31C after sunset. It's supposed to cool down over the next few days. I hope so. The persistent high humidity has made yesterday and today unpleasant,

Midsummer heat feast

A humid night, losing a couple of hours of sleep, but feeling none the worse for this. I seem to adjust easily to higher ambient temperatures, and find I'm sharper, more alert. All I have to do is avoid unnecessary exertion and exposure to sun and wind that would cause me to overheat. Heaven knows why, but I'm grateful to feel less worse due to sleep loss than I might do otherwise.

I posted today's YouTube Morning Prayer link to WhatsApp when I got up at eight. St Catherine's was pleasantly cool for today's celebration of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist. Cancellation of the service I was due to celebrate at St John's left me free to attend the St Catherine's Eucharist, celebrated by Fr Colin. There were six of us altogether. By the time I was on my way home from coffee and chat following the service, the temperature rose from 25 to 31C.

Work on the loft conversion next door but one must be nearing completion, a fully loaded builder's skip was taken away while I was out this morning. I imagine little work can be carried out safely on roof tile replacement or loft conversion jobs in weather as hot as this. It's the hottest June day on record apparently.

Clare cooked fish and made couscous to go with it for lunch, not so heavy on the digestion in this weather. I ventured out to post a letter, then dozed in my armchair for an hour, and ventured out to buy fruit - short spells outdoors, cooling off in between. The same in the evening too. The humidity is inescapable. When I went out for an evening walk there a concert by 'The Cure' was taking place in Bute Park. The volume of heavy sound from bass and drums echoing a mile away from the concert stage was unpleasant and obtrusive, the singer and cheering audience in between numbers were hardly audible in comparison.

Later when it was quieter, I recorded and edited the audio for next Wednesday's Morning Prayer, made the video slide show and uploaded it to YouTube, relieved to find concentration to work on it despite the heat, Slowly after sunset the air cooled down, so it was possible to keep the bedroom window open at bed time. So far I've avoided using the dehumidifier. It's not a welcome noise when you're trying to fall asleep.