Under the shadow

A good night's sleep, but I woke up with muscle pain in the middle of my back above the pelvis, stiff neck and shoulders. I must have slept for some time in an awkward position. I had to move slowly, carefully and in a balanced way to avoid putting my vertebrae and pelvis out of alignment. I had a phone call while I was in the shower about an appointment at St David's hospital, following up on a GP referral. Clare brought the phone to me, but the line dropped as the phone was too far from the base station. I called the hospital and was given a date for triage at an incontinence clinic. I wasn't sure why and enquired of the appointments secretary what this was all about. 

It's been six weeks since the boil on my buttock burst and I asked to be referred for wound dressing to the district nurse team, aware of the daily demand for care this would place on Clare. No pasa nada. Thanks to Clare the wound has healed nicely. Given that the initial infection broke out in scar tissue as a result of a violent diarrhea side effect from clot busting medication, I thought it might be worth asking for a scan of the affected muscle tissue to check how stable it now is. 

Step one is a consultation with Dr Morse, whom I saw back in March as part of the general health check I received six months after the stroke. At that time the medication was having a bad effect on me. I asked how long I'd have to continue taking it, and was told it's 'a life sentence'. Well, I've been given a reprieve. My digestive tract works as God intends it to. No incontinence to deal with, but I shall press for a scan to find out if there's any hidden risk remaining. Getting the appointment sorted lost me the time needed to get to St Catherine's for the Eucharist. I went to the church hall half an hour later to say hello to people and buy a bag of church garden tomatoes. I called at the pharmacy for a prescription renewal while I was in the vicinity and was told it would be ready in a week's time. Just as well I have two week's medication left.

When I got back home I lay on my back with a book under my head and worked on relaxing muscles and warming them up gently while Clare cooked pasta for lunch. I needed to sleep for half an hour afterwards  then I felt ready for a brisk walk up and down Llandaff Fields as the muscle pain had eased.

Russia has stepped up its bombardment of Ukrainian energy infrastructure and residential areas of Kyiv. Trump's 'energy ceasefire' is a figment of his imagination. He is coercing Ukraine into complying with his wishes, influencing Elon Musk, to throttle Musk's Starlink satellite network, making it much harder to detect incoming missile strikes and defend against them. Political commentators ask if Trump has become a Russian ally. He seems willing to appease rather than confront Putin. For years Trump has cultivated business relationships in Russia. Who knows what compromising information Russia has on him? 

The head of MI5 warns against increasing threats from Russian cyber attacks and the dangers of AI being used to develop new threats by 'hostile actors', as individuals, organisations or nation states are referred to in security jargon. Sanctioned  Russian oil tankers and naval vessels sail through seas close to Britain and our air space is probed by Russian drones and military aircraft, risking an incident but just avoiding one. We hear of criminals hired to commit crimes on behalf of anti-semitic extremists, and on behalf of Iran or Russia. It's disturbing to think that war could break out in Western Europe accidentally and Britain would not be exempt from the consequences.

Tired legs

I thought I slept quite well and woke up fairly refreshed but my Fitbit told a different story. I asked myself if it's really that accurate in monitoring and interpreting bodily electrical impulses 24/7.  After breakfast, Clare went off by taxi to her study group meeting in Penarth. I spent the morning reflecting and writing. When Clare returned, sooner than anticipated, we prepared lunch together. Then she went to see a movie at the Chapter cinema while I did the grocery shopping in the Co-op and Tesco's after we'd eaten. Neither of us remembered that Jorja was due to clean the house this afternoon. Oops!

I found the exercise tough going this afternoon. I felt physically tired as if I was recovering from running a marathon, which to be fair, was what the Google Health app indicated, telling me I needed to rest and take it easy before exercising today. I don't understand why I should feel like this. I wasn't out of breath, but I did stop and sit on a park bench a few times to relax my leg muscles rather than pushing myself hard. 

I went home at tea time to deal with the rubbish and recycling, but Clare was back from the cinema and on the job and had put out the bins already. We had supper together, then she went to a Pilates class while I went out again and walked the rest of my daily distance as it got dark. The last half hour of my walk was less strenuous than earlier. I felt as if my leg muscles had taken all day to warm up and I was able to go at a more brisk pace. Sometimes my body feels like a stranger to me.

I spent the evening after supper watching the final episode of series one of the Icelandic crimmie 'Black Sands' and several more of series two, including an episode dating from 20 years earlier serving as a prequel to series one, explaining the back story to dysfunctional relationships and perpetrators portrayed in series one. It's an unusual device. The last episode can wait until tomorrow.

Escalation

A colder night, with the aurora borealis displaying overhead to the north and west of us, but the sky wasn't clear enough of thin cloud for the colours to be visible. It was overcast and raining when I got up, but it didn't last long. A good night's sleep nevertheless, although it didn't prevent me from feeling tired and stiff. I don't know why.

Clare went shopping, and I cooked lunch. She came home with a new steel frying pan and steel utensil to turn pan fried food, replacing one made of disturbingly deteriorating plastic.  After a brief siesta I walked around Thompson's Park and then Llandaff Fields. I caught sight of a Jay foraging in the open grass and took several photos. As I walked back down the avenue I was overtaken by a cyclist with a toddler in the back pannier. A second child on a bicycle about five years old was pedalling furiously to catch up and called out "Daddy!" He slowed a little and extended his right hand at a low enough level for the child to take his hand and hold on to it as they rode on together ahead of me, too fast to get out the camera I'd just put away and take what would have been a touching photo from behind. Clare had already eaten supper early when I arrived home, as she was about to go out for choir practice.

For the second time in the past few days, Houthi forces have attacked King Khaled international airport in Riyadh with missiles, killing 13 people and injuring over 300. The airport is now closed as a result. The Saudis struck Houthi forces holding the airport in Sanaa and Saudi air defences are being kept busy dealing with incoming missiles.

Crude oil is still being exported through the Straight of Hormuz by tankers under US naval escort despite occasional attacks from Iranian forces or its Houthi proxies. Houthi control of the Bab al Mandeb gateway to the Red Sea adds to the risk and vulnerability of supply chains. Iran is exporting oil in defiance of American sanctions. The volume of refined products, particularly diesel and liquid natural gas, is well below pre-war levels, leading to price rises with far reaching economic consequences. There has been no progress in diplomatic talks. 

Trump speaks with false optimism of the war ending 'real soon now'. He alleged yesterday that Ukraine and Russia have agreed to an 'energy cease-fire', but Russian attacks on Ukrainian power infrastructure since then express contempt for his utterances and show how foolish he is to believe he has influence to bring an end to either conflict. He minimises the effect of support that Iran is receiving from Russia and China in the background and is in no position to confront them openly, having invested so much in waging a war against Iran that has caused so much economic upheaval in the Gulf states and wider world.

With the sun setting around half past six, impaired eyesight is slower to adjust to reduction in contrast outdoors. I've got used to this over the past year, and take more care to notice my surroundings when I'm walking. I need stronger light to use a keyboard as well as when I read a book. After supper I watched another episode of gloomy slow moving Icelandic crimmie 'Black Sands'. Much of it is filmed in semi darkness for dramatic effect. It does nothing to enhance my viewing experience. It's frustrating.

Attention seeking outrage

Quite a good night's sleep, despite going to bed late. We were nearly late arriving at St Catherine's for the Eucharist but that was due to Clare walking slower than usual. Her ankle is giving her pain at the moment. Two children were baptized during the service this morning. I thought Fr Sion looked more relaxed taking the service. With the St John's congregation worshipping in St Catherine's at 9.00am today, he didn't have to leave early to rush between churches to meet a deadline.

After lunch and a snooze, I walked in Llandaff Fields, while Clare's study group was meeting. Here and there, a noticeable section of a particular tree's leaf cover has turned golden brown, though the majority of trees have not yet followed suit. It made me wonder if one tree suffers more stress than those surrounding it to accelerate leaf die-back: e.g. exposure to a localised current of hot or cold air, or insufficient water reaching its roots. Each tree has its own story.

Navi Pillay, a highly regarded South African who was an International Criminal Court judge has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The U.N. Human Rights Commission, and the Court have come under increasing criticism and attack in recent years. Last year  a UN report overseen by her concluded that Israel's actions in Gaza were genocidal. The Nobel committee stated that by honouring her it wanted to remind the world that the international and national rule of law underpins the system devised. 

Trump reacted in a fit of pique, attacking the Nobel committee decision as 'political', and announcing fresh sanctions on the International Criminal Court, the body established in 2002 to prosecute individuals accused of war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide. In a joint statement, the foreign ministers of Canada, Denmark, Germany, France, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, and the United Kingdom reaffirmed their “continued and unwavering support” for the Court, which condemned Trump's move as an “assault on the rule of law and on the very foundations of the international legal order,” 

Trump has also announced that America will buy sanctions breaking diesel supplies from Russia to meet the global shortage created by his war against Iran, with the aim of reducing the pump price of diesel in the run up to mid-term elections to boost his plummeting popularity. The revenue will support Putin's effort to prolong the war against Ukraine. President Zelenskiy described this as "A gift to Putin, an investment in a war that must be ended." Trump reacted by saying it's time for Ukraine to get a new President, but his move has met with strong criticism from Congress members on both sides. 

Trump's Department of Justice proposes speeding up the death penalty backlog using execution by firing squad. It comes in the wake of last week's botched execution of a woman by lethal injection, who is now recovering in hospital. It's not clear what will happen to her next. First on his hit list is Ex Major Nidal Hasan, an army psychiatrist  with hidden islamist sympathies, who massacred thirteen unarmed soldiers at an army base in 2009. He was paralysed from the waist down in the shoot-out. It is proposed the execution will be live streamed to serve as a deterrent to others. But what message about justice and humanity is conveyed by legally killing a wheelchair bound man in public? One attention grabbing pronouncement after another from the White House administration generates outrage or uncertainty. America's economy suffers meanwhile? Does Trump or any of his advisors have any real idea about the impact of his decisions and pronouncements on the world outside of his charmed circle of fans?

After supper I watched the melodramatic finale of series one of 'Black Sands'. Behind the murder mystery a back story of child abuse in a dysfunctional foster family. It was a bit difficult to piece together. Working out who was who among the characters from the way it was portrayed added unnecessarily to the mystery. The dialogue was in English or in Icelandic, a North Western Germanic language descended from Old Norse. Familiarity with German, Swedish and Danish movies made it possible to identify some words but not the flow of dialogue. Relying mostly on sub titles added to the challenge of working out what went on. A lapse of concentration meant having to rewind to read and make sense of dialogue, not something that's often necessary. I've just discovered there's a second series to watch. Shall I bother?

Excursion

A better night's sleep feeling refreshed when I got up. Clare we up ahead of me cooking Saturday breakfast pancakes. We wanted to visit a lighting shop at the bottom of Sloper road to look for a replacement standard lamp, but had difficulty identifying the best bus that would take us in that direction as we'd already decided on a trip to Penarth. The information provided by Cardiff bus is plentiful but not exactly user friendly in the way it's presented. We ended up going to the bus station in town to get one of several different buses which go to Penarth via Sloper Road, with the aim of visiting the shop on returning from our excursion.

Clare bought a small pumpkin yesterday and excavated the flesh from inside it to use in making pumpkin soup for lunch. It was full of flavour, enhanced with lemon juice. Then we went to the bus station on a 61 and caught a 92 to Windsor Road in Penarth, where we caught a convenient 305 which took us a mile downhill to the sea front. The tide was out. We walked on the pier enjoying the spectacular view of the pebble beach and Severn Estuary under a blue sky with fluffy white clouds floating in it. Then we walked up to the cliff top path and had a cup of tea from an ice cream stall overlooking the children's playground and the sea. We climbed back up to Windsor Road on the steep path through Alexandra Park, and were lucky enough to find a 92 bus waiting to return to Cardiff bus station, where a 61 bus was about to depart. 

We got off at the stop near the 'Rock & Malt' fish and chip shop where we bought a generously portioned take-away supper. As my head was much clearer, I enjoyed our five bus excursion this afternoon rather than enduring it. It makes the prospect of holiday travel feel promising once more. After we'd eaten, I watched the finale of 'After the Flood' on ITVX then three episodes of 'Black Sands', keeping me up later than necessary. Serives me right if I'm tired tomorrow.

Jewellery shopping

Yet again painful trapped wind in my gut robbed me of a couple of hours of sleep. Both of us got up late for breakfast. We were hardly ready when Clare's flute teacher arrived for a lesson at ten. An overcast and drizzly damp start to the day. Fortunately, the sky cleared. The afternoon was sunny, and the temperature dropped to single figures after dark.

After lunch we went out in search of some earrings to go with the pendant I bought Clare for our 60th wedding anniversary. First we visited a pawnbroker's shop on Cowbridge Road East, with a jewellery display in the window as Clare had seen something of interest in the window, but it turned out on closer examination to be unsuitable. It's the first time in my life that I've been inside a pawnbroker's shop. Then we went to town on the bus and visited half a dozen jewellers without finding what we were looking for. In Castle Arcade there's a shop that sells quartz crystal jewellery with lots of original designs, and that was where a set of simple pendant earrings caught her eye a good match for the neck pendant.

We took a bus back to Cowbridge Road East to call at the hardware store for some mothballs. Sadly two of my short sleeved pullovers have acquired moth holes from being kept un-bagged in a bedroom chest of drawers.

After supper I watched a couple of episodes of an Icelandic crimmie called 'Black Sands' on Walter Presents. A multi layered story, a bit slow moving, but interesting enough to persuade me to stay up late.

The changing face of money

Wind pain in my gut deprived me of an hour's sleep but I slept fairly well apart from that. Kath phoned on her way to work while we were having breakfast. We were delighted to hear that Rhiannon has joined a University theatre group and has been enlisted as a costume designer for a musical production. She has to come up with ideas and supervise others in making the garments. Such a good experience, given that she'll be doing this in future course projects. Rachel messaged us to say that she's booked her home flight for 22nd December staying until New Year's Eve. Kath and Anto are going to Vienna for New Year but will be here with us for Christmas, which we are hosting this year. 

The morning slipped away while I wrote and reflected on current events. Clare made lunch an hour early as she is joining a community choir gathering in the garden of a pub in Grangetown to sing for the funeral of a former member. Apparently a service cannot be held in St John's church as it is being hired as a film location. This extends to Sunday as well. The St John's nine o'clock congregation is asked to meet at St Catherine's for the Eucharist instead. 

I hope members will resist the temptation to think this is the thin end of the wedge. Both congregations together would fill either church, but being 'local' is key to the offer of Anglican Parish worship. Gone are the days when both churches would welcome a thousand people between them to Sunday worship. It's a tenth of that nowadays. Running costs are higher than ever and hard to cover. Even so, occasional funerals and weddings fill each church with hundreds attending, but how much this contributes to all maintaining Parish ministry is anybody's guess. 

Use as a filming location raises income that benefits the struggling finances of a small congregation. St Catherine's church benefits from having a period piece church hall often used in this way, sparing the church building from disruption. St German's was also used for location filming last year. It's argued that appearing in a TV drama showcases the building and attracts movie buffs curious to see inside a building in real life. Maybe so, but does it attract worshippers or inspire long term commitment? 

Fewer churches are open to visitors these days. There's less opportunity for curious folk to enter and explore, to experience the aesthetic of sacred space evoking awe and wonder through its beauty. As an undergraduate St Mary's Tyndall's Park in Bristol was on my walking route home from the chemistry lab. A side door was often open, and a handful of people would be inside doing routine cleaning and polishing, always ready to welcome passers by with a smile and encourage them to look around or pray. It was a capacious Victorian Gothic Anglo-Catholic edifice, dark within, thanks to its array of stained glass windows making good use of blue and red colour. Quite apart from the odour of incense still lingering after Sunday Mass and Benediction, it was for me a new experience of sacred mystery which I grew to delight in. 

Ten years after I graduated, the church was closed, its diminishing congregation could no longer afford to use it. The BBC bought it for storing equipment, props and scenery, but it was subsequently bought by a free evangelical congregation and converted into the Woodlands Centre', a Christian enterprise still alive and active, albeit in a radically different contemporary way to its High Church missionary predecessor.

I went to the Post Office after lunch to send Rachel's birthday present. I was astonished to find there was an import handling charge to pay on top of postage, even though the item wasn't of high value. This drives people to order gifts and have them delivered through Amazon, depersonalizing the nature of the gift. It may be convenient, as digital payment is more convenient than hard cash, but this diminishes the material reality of the exchange. Having said that, I went to Tesco's on my way back to buy olive oil, eggs and a pack of chicken legs to roast, and paid digitally for a second time in half an hour. I still carry cash, but have become dependent on making digital payments. Meanwhile the number of cash machines diminishes. 

I remember when they were introduced in the early seventies. Natwest bank  issued me with an Access credit card. I pre-loaded with sterling and used it to withdraw French Francs during a camping holiday by Lake Annecy. I don't think that was the main intention of the card company at the time as it meant the banking consortium behind Access paying me a tiny sum of interest instead of charging me for borrowing their money. Post Office travel money cards appeared thirty years later. Other companies and banks issued pre-paid money cards for use as a kind of digital currency. In the late nineties Geneva public transport issued a pre-pay travel card called 'CASH'. We didn't bother with this as a monthly season ticket called a 'Carte Orange' was part of my job expenses package. Nowadays this is the name given to a phone SIM card or eSIM for tourists. How things develop over time!