Fatigue

Another overcast damp day. Nine hours in bed, three hours awake, maybe half awake. I didn't feel so bad but once I'd taken the prescribed medication and drank enough water to compensate for the amount lost overnight, I started to feel drowsy and drained of energy. It was an effort to get ready and out of the house to walk to church, but fresh air and exercise makes a difference, sort of. We were about forty adults and ten small children at the St Catherine's Eucharist. 

When we got home I helped with preparing and getting lunch on the table, pushing back against tiredness. Is the cocktail of medication I'm taking the reason I end up feeling poorly? At least I'm able to keep walking, so long as I don't push myself too hard. I slept for half an hour after we'd eaten, then went for a walk along the east bank of a swollen river Taff. The wind was strong, roaring in the trees as it blew from the west on the return stretch across Pontcanna Fields. Rain was forecast but fortunately stayed away until I was safely home again. 

While I walked I started to think about a recent bank statement I received. Opening the envelope, I accidentally tore the document and had to repair it and couldn't remember if I checked the balance and was sure it was enough to cover outgoing direct debits. It was enough to start me worrying, as if fighting strong gusts of wind wasn't enough worry already. I start to panic these days if I feel I'm slipping out of control, a legacy from the sense of helplessness and extreme pain experienced when an ENT medic was trying to stop my nose bleed three months ago. When I arrived home I found the bank statement quickly and to my relief, all was in order. No risk of slipping into financial danger. It was just that I couldn't remember checking the statement once I'd pieced it back together again, not long after discharge after the nose bleed emergency.

After supper I watched another couple of episodes of 'Les Invisibles' and then headed for bed, hoping for a longer night's sleep.