Mission conclusion

Cold and overcast again today and a poor night of disturbed sleep overshadowed by anxious feelings. I don't know if it's my concern about Santander pushing clients to accept on-line bank statements instead of paper ones or the queasy reaction of my digestive system to medication that bothers me in the small hours. I hate waking up feeling tired and lethargic, needing a rest before I can face activity apart from thinking quietly and composing a reflection for next week's Morning Prayer offering.

Clare went out after breakfast to buy a replacement kitchen tablecloth. The existing one got scorched by a candle overheating in its glass candle container, melting the table cloth beneath it, setting off the kitchen smoke alarm. It was more flammable than we realised, and should have had a wooden block or a saucer to serve as a heat sink. Plasticised fabrics are not to be trusted ever. Lesson learned. I started cooking lunch as soon as she returned, a little late, as my attention had been absorbed by writing. 

I received an email from Emma in Euro-diocesan HQ expressing appreciation for my fourteen years of locum ministry. She started in her job around the same time as I retired, and although we have written and spoken over the years, we've never met, a strange aspect to being part of a large dispersed organisation. I replied, thanking her for her support. There's no longer any reason for me to hold a Permission to Officiate in the diocese in Europe, now that I can't drive. No matter how complete a recovery I make or healthy I stay, I'm now a risk as far as ministry abroad is concerned, work and travel insurance un-affordable. Well, it was wonderful while it lasted. 

I'm not yet sure if I'll recover well enough to celebrate Mass and preach again in this, my home diocese. I don't know if I'll need to renew my Permission to Officiate at some time in the future, should a return to regular public ministry be possible. I need to know if I can handle the stress involved after a long spell of inactivity. Besides that, do I have anything more to contribute to the common good of the church? Making a Morning Prayer video for the Parish WhatsApp group is one thing I still do. Facing a congregation again is an unknown. I've not read a lesson in church unless I was celebrating. I've not volunteered, as I think it's more important that others are given the opportunity. I'm learning to be on the receiving end, listening and not judging or criticising.

After emailing Emma I walked in Llandaff Fields for an hour, and on my way home bought some chicken to roast. After supper, another episode of 'The Night Manager' to watch before bed.