So tired

I didn't have a good night's sleep with toilet trips, then lying awake waiting apprehensive to see if my heart was going to race. Thankfully it didn't, taking time to walk to the bathroom and back seemed to help. I posted an audio version of Morning Prayer with reflection for the first time at half past three in the morning, being unable to finish and upload a video one. not knowing if I'd be able to do it after Thought for the Day. I was exhausted after yesterday and spent much of the morning in bed, either dozing or writing. Siân the Kings Road GP medication nurse practitioner phoned for a briefing about prescription renewal. 

I phoned the surgery for a blood pressure  check appointment. There are other arrangements about medical appointments to be made and kept track of. So much information to be absorbed and dealt with, and I'm so slow. It was good to hear Owain working from home in my study. I have been tired today and not feeling well on and off, Stress builds up.  My blood pressure is high. I need to rest whenever I feel overloaded.

Owain and Clare did the shopping between them and made lunch. I wanted to go for a walk in the park in the afternoon. Clare and I managed a circuit around the block, but I didn't feel like doing more. 

Owain learned to use a pressure cooker to poach gammon in apple juice for our supper. I decided give up recording and posting the Wednesday Morning Prayer video, rather than be unreliable in producing one while I am recovering  but I will continue to write a biblical reflection each week for the WhatsApp prayer circle if I can for the time being. Nice things were said, but I need no more commitment stress, I I don't need to go with the flow but float without anchors for now, neither proactive nor reactive. Writing relieves brain stress surprisingly, despite the typos getting worse when I'm tired. Just like my speech. I talk as little as I can to people I have no personal relationship with, as I stumble to express myself.

Veronica leaves for Catalunya tomorrow. So sorry not to have seen her and John again here in Britain. I had a helpful phone chat with Ann about medication and neurology. Good to get some insight into what is going on in my brain these days

At dusk I did another circuit around the block to get some fresh air on my own, to maintain confidence in what I can do, then chatted with Owain until bed time