Admin time

A cold bright sunny day to wake up to, after the night of the full Harvest Moon which I didn't see as there was a veil of high cloud last night. After breakfast I called St Joseph's hospital to find out about the pre-op PCR, only to be told this is no longer a requirement, just a larer flow test on the morning of the operation. It's a relief that I don't have to return from the Gower a second time in our holiday week. Then a resumption of Monday housework chores, followed by some preparatory work on a biblical reflection for the Morning Prayer video upload on operation day. The less I have to do while we're away, the better.

While Clare was cooking lunch, I attempted to renew my phone and broadband contract with TalkTalk on their website. I guess it was about now two years ago that I did this last. It's such a long time since I visited the webmail site I was first obliged by their security to change password. Then the upgrade/renewal links didn't work, so I had to phone the helpline. I didn't have to wait long, but the process was careful and laborious, taking twenty five minutes to complete. Doing this has reduced my monthly bill by ten quid, but it will go up again, by the measure of inflation next April. Heaven knows how much extra we'll be paying over the next eighteen months.

After lunch I went for a treatment with Clive, taking an appointment taken by Clare. Now she's started her daily osteoporosis injections, she decided to forego physical therapies while while observing whether the new treatment makes any difference or not. It's my first with Clive in three years, having last seen him before going to Ibiza. What a lot has happened since then. He's gone from grey to white hair, so have I. The treatment was more of a therapeutic massage this time than before. It remains to be seen if it makes a difference, other than relieving me of tension and stress.

When I got back home, I booked EasyJet flights from Bristol for my next locum duty 26th January to the 13th April. Fortunately both flights are at reasonable daytime hours. No Vueling flights from Cardiff airport as the spring timetable hasn't been published yet. I don't think they'll resume until April, so demand for early year flights from Bristol will be higher, so booking as early as possible to get the most reasonable prices is necessary. I didn't book hold baggage again this time, as it adds a lot to the cost. As it is, the two way flight cost £181. Another hundred for a hold bag. I can do without the extra capacity, having learned to travel light.

This evening I visited my on-line bank account for the first time in ages. There's been no need to. move money around, except by card payment. I realised that I hadn't contributed to church funds for a while, and was shocked to find it was six months since I last made an on-line transfer. Peace of mind now for a while. There's only my tax return left to do on-line. It can wait until tomorrow. A walk in the dark around Llandaff Fields, then another epidode of 'Inspector Borowski' to end the day.

Walking warily

Overcast, cold and rainy all day. Twice I got wet going out for some exercise. My back wasn't quite as painful, after a night's rest and a massage with some Rhus Tox ointment, which seems to be more effective than a gel, laced with ibuprofen. I had to warm up and get moving slowly, thinking about every move carefully, to avoid making a movement that would pinch the nerve which yesterday got trapped for a while. 

Clare left a message for osteomyologist Clive Taylor, and he called back this morning to tell us that due to covid-19 restrictions he cannot work for the time being, unless he lives in isolation from his wife while he is working. Then if he wants to go home and be with her, he has to self quarantine in his workplace for a fortnight. He recommended me to a colleague at the Vital Health Chiropractice Clinic in Westbury Park Bristol. This practice is able to work, having succeeded in fulfilling all the stringent requirements of managing patients safely and having acquired the necessary personal protection equipment. I rang up and was able to book an appointment for Friday next week. Hopefully if I take enough care and don't have any accidents I can cope until then without making things worse.

My sister Pauline's funeral was streamed life from Worle Crematorium at three thirty this afternoon. Clare and I set together and joined in. All went as planned, but it was indeed a strange experience for us as it was for her son Jules in Dubai. Owain went to represent our side of the family, and went back to the family home in Bleadon Hill for tea with Nicky and her family. There were eight mourners at the Crem, and  many more following on-line. All Pauline's surviving cousins are of an age which bars them from all but essential local travel for the time being. It's good to see the way in which all aspects of public life are adapting to defend clientele from virus contagion. It's also worrying that there are so many individuals who wilfully ignore common sense in order to socialise and have a good time. Why do people take such stupid risks, with their own health and that of others?

Musical evening

Before going out to do the weekly grocery shop this morning, I phoned osteomyologist Clive Taylor, aware after a long night's sleep of how much I need a physical re-tune. Fortunately I was able book an appointment to see Clive at six fifteen this evening. His day is fully booked. It would mean that I'm unable to accompany Clare to the RWCMD Friends-Connect recital this evening, but he said he'd ring if he had a cancellation earlier. I was very relieved when he called a three fifteen to say he could see me in half an hour. Thankfully his treatment room is just over ten minutes walk from here. 

I came away from the forty minute session feeling more physically balanced and relaxed than I have for a while. We had supper, then caught a bus from Cowbridge Road, just after six to get to RWCMD in good time. Buses are twice as frequent in the evening along Cowbridge Road than down Cathedral or Romilly Roads, simply because there are more services on the route. We tend habitually to go to the latter for a bus rather than the former. It's not much further away than the Llandaff Fields stop in fact. Romilly Road stop is nearest but, after the rush-hour, buses are every twenty minutes and don't always arrive when they should.

When we arrived and took our seats near the front of the auditorium, we found that the new College Principal Helena Gaunt was sitting in front of us and introduced herself before the concert started. She was appointed a year ago, but has only recently moved house to Cardiff, and is now living in Canton. Three of the four students performing in the concert were recipients of grants made by the Connect support programme to which Clare subscribes. 

A harpsichordist and a viola da gamba player had been funded to spend a week in Provence playing with an Early Music specialist, before performing in a concert there. The singer was funded to spend a week with an opera singing coach in Milan. A 'cellist joined the first two, to perform a couple of trio works by eighteenth century German and French composers I'd never heard of. Delightful playful dance music. The harpsichordist then switched to piano and played a Chopin nocturne, then we heard four very different songs and arias from the singer, with piano accompaniment.

Afterwards, there was a light supper reception cum networking opportunity. I got chatting to a young woman who works for the College fund raising team. She told me she was from Ystrad Mynach, my birthplace. I can't remember when I last met another native of my home town.

Ministered to and ministering

I woke up with a crick in my neck this morning, and this reminded me that I was overdue for a visit to the McTimoney chiropracter I saw several times before Christmas. I phoned Clive and was lucky enough to book an appointment at midday. He found plenty of issues to work on, as life with such an awkwardly placed wound has meant much awkward movement and use of arms to shift my weight around in an unbalanced way over the past few months. Although conscious of the awkwardness and making an effort to rebalance myself, the effect of never doing so perfectly accumulates and takes its toll. The treatment did me a power of good, making movement easier and less stiff. The crick in my neck has gone, and I'm glad of that.

I walked from Clive's treatment room down to the local shops, visited the bank and after shopping for a few items went on to the wound clinic for a dressing change, before returning for a late lunch. Twenty minutes after finishing, I was collected for the funeral at which I was to officiate in Saint Catherine's. This concluded in Thornhill crematorium, after the journey from church in surprisingly heavy traffic for a Thursday afternoon in half term without school run traffic. The funeral drivers complain about how much worse congestion is already due to suburban expansion to the north and west of the city. How it will be in five years time with thousands more houses in new estates being built, without adequate infrastructure expansion to match population density growth, is a worrying consideration.

By the time I reached home, it was gone five. I'd been invited to join a post funeral gathering at the other end of the parish, but didn't have enough energy to socialise. Thankfully I did have enough energy to discharge my duties to my own satisfaction. I know when I need to rest, and when I do so, often wonder what I really should be doing instead. I've felt for years as if I should be doing much more than I seem capable of. I don't know who this internal slave driver is, or where he comes from. It's an odd business, never really comfortable or satisfied with my own efforts.

   

Market pictures

Yesterday morning, after a brisk walk in the chill air to the bank to get out some money, I walked to an appointment with chiropractor Clive. Since starting to take the antibiotics, I find I have more of a spring in my step, and enjoyed the exercise. The session, working on my back and neck was good too, and I got home feeling refreshed. While I was out I bought a second solid state hard drive to fit in one of my laptops and install Linux Mint. The six year old laptop I fitted a SDD with Linux for Clare works a treat with power on to an open Libre Office document ready to use in half a minute.  On a good day Windows 10 accomplishes this in 3-4 minutes, if not longer. quickly    

Later in the afternoon I went into town, to take photos of the Christmas tree outside the castle, the illuminations and outdoor craft market stalls. It all looks very bright and jolly at this time of year. So pleasing to see a tall Norwegian fir tree bedecked just with white lights. Natural simplicity works. St John's Church on the Working Street side is hemmed in by German style bars and fast food stalls, it may look like fun but the cooking smells in the air are far from pleasant or evocative of a traditional British winter evening outdoors. 

Still, tourists and shoppers come and go in good numbers. I hope the trade stallholders do justifies their attendance. Some, I recall from previous times, come for a week and then visit other regional Christmas markets. I guess business tails off after initial interest, or maybe it's a matter of affording the stall rent for a long enough time to cover costs and earn something in addition. I think I am too risk averse to ever have made a living like that. Mobile market traders have my admiration!

I attended the midweek Eucharist at St Catherine's this morning and went back into town in the afternoon to take more photos. My sister June reminded me that I'd promised some photos of the indoor market which I took with great pleasure. It's ten to fifteen years since I last did this and I have photographed several different covered markets in Spain with great interest over the past five years. This time I applied myself to the task with the same energy as I would if I was visiting an unfamiliar market to take pictures. It made me aware of just how much more colourful Cardiff market is and how almost all the stalls are occupied nowadays, compared to fifteen years ago. Someone must be putting an effort into promoting trading opportunities there, and about time too. My two days worth of photos can be found here. 

Our broadband speed has started to fluctuate and has dropped from around 1.8mbs down and 0.9mbs up down as low as 1.2mbs down and 0.6mbs up. When one device is uploading photos or doing a Windows update, other network attached devices become almost unusuable. It was impossible to see what might be causing this, as there's been no physical changes in the set up since installation, some two years ago. I contacted TalkTalk via Twitter and Direct Messaging (which I found clumsy and repetitive to use when the line dropped out. Their engineers ran some line tests and router diagnostics, but in the end I had to agree to a house visit. Something is seriously wrong, but what?

The new regime of pills requires that I take them at least two hours after eating and an hour before another meal. Doing this conscientiously has proved a little difficult given the variability of each day, and the meeting challenge of getting out of the habit of nibbling nuts or fruit in between meals if I feel hungry, as I often do. As a result of changes in diet over the past year and reduction in size of portions, I have a healthy appetite and good digestion. I'm grateful for that, when I think that some people my age don't have such pleasurable good fortune. 

I still have a couple of medical issues to sort out, however. Today I rang the colorectal surgical team administrator, and learned that there was a delay in processing MRI scan results, so there was no news about the operation I await. It seems the radiologist examines and interprets the scans in order to brief the surgical team, who then establish their treatment plan and arrange an appointment. Four to six weeks wait time, it seems at the moment. Not what I hoped to hear. Being a patient means having to be patient and wait to be treated and to effect a recovery. There's just no alternative.

   

Mystery of healing and hall of mirrors

Being somewhat confined to the house, so-say 'looking after myself' i.e. not letting my unresolved ailments get out of hand, is for the most part a dull and uneventful routine, so a week can slip by with little of interest to report or reflect upon. Today was an exception however.

Today, I visited McTimoney chiropractor Clive Taylor again. This certainly does me good, and the value added is in the accompany conversation. Clive has been an active practitioner of alternative kinds of therapy for over thirty years, and speaks confidently of his understanding and experience of the nature of healing being embedded in the relationship he has with his clients, not just in a social way, but in the physical connection which therapy requires. Without any need for interpreting this in a metaphysical way, he speaks of the importance of laying on hands, resting and centering himself, and then letting his hands be guided to work on the other person's body. It's a process Rachel and others also speak about in their therapeutic work. 

It's part of what we are, what we can be for others. I like it, and trust this more than I trust the analytical and rational approach of busy modern medicine, which seems to have broken everything down into procedures. While I have no objection to this in principle, there can be so many procedures that some get missed out, avoided because of the pressure to deliver. Really I feel we need both approaches, but this calls for more time than we ever seem to have these days.

After this, I drove over to Dinas Powis to have coffee and a conversation with Russell on the subject of Artificial Intelligence. He's interested in what the church may have to say about it. I can't really say what theologians or Christian philosophers are publishing on this, let alone what Bishops and others have to say. In the end, it's a matter of morally evaluating the use of various AI resources and concluding whether they are a blessing or a curse, and that's complex enough. The key worry seems to be over progress towards autonomous self replicating systems, promised by visionary promoters to be with us in a couple of decades.

Seeing will be believing. All sorts of things are possible in lab conditions, like cloning sheep, but that's not turned out to be as perfect as hoped for. It's not just that such immense complexity can be perfectly reproduced, but that, to put it simply, the date, time and location of any clone is different from the original, and this alone my be enough of a change in the basic precondition for perfection to avoid flaws at a genetic or systemic level. We think that various mathematical universal constants governing the laws of the universe are perfect, unchanging and absolute. For the most part they are,  until someone comes along with new observations of certain conditions which call the presumed absolute into question. There may be no end to the process of refinement in search of ultimate truth. Maybe, an infinite regress is all we can expect, like a hall of mirrors.
  

Life on hold

Another day of not doing much, determined by the continued discomfort caused by this unhealed wound and untreated condition. Some days are better than others, but it's demoralising not having any acknowledgement from the hospital consultancy which did the colonoscopy of the two urgent requests made by my GP for an early appointment. We hear a lot about waiting time delays for this or that condition in the news these days. The system is under great strain, so I'm in the same boat as thousands of others, just not knowing, wondering how long before there's any movement. 

I had hoped it would get better on its own, but not so. Sister in law Ann says it's most likely rectifiable by simple day surgery. I could probably pay to have this done privately, but that would feel like disloyalty to the NHS, such a marvellous institution, coping heroically with underfunding and over demand, particularly from people my age and older. Well, maybe if I get desperate, or get a definite response which says I have to wait another six months, which is the time I had to wait last time, I'll just have to pay. Life on hold, being unable to make plans is a real misery for an impatient soul like me.

Due to the necessity of sitting in an unbalanced may, my back is twinging, unsurprisingly, so I got in touch with Kay, our McTimoney osteopath and found that she's out of action due to injury. Clare had once been to a local practitioner who lives ten minutes walk from here, the other side of Thompson's park, Clive Taylor so I arranged to go and see him this evening. It was a very thorough introductory session and treatment, and I came away conscious of the benefit. One of his colleagues also does acupuncture so I must enquire about that too. My energy levels are dropping with the sheer stress of have to cope with this most awkward of afflictions.