Waiting time again

It was good to return to celebrating the midweek Eucharist with seven regulars this morning. I've not done much over the past couple of days, apart from routine shopping and my daily walk, but have slipped into waiting mode.

It's been good to see some Parliamentarians expressing their concerns about the hard right Boris Johnson government's behaviour. Some have put their career on the line, voting against their own party line.

Deep divisions of opinion about involvement with Europe are passionately held, and there are many more and different motives among people on each side for holding their position.

A binary referendum of the kind held with its carelessly devised options, revealed a deep fault line covered up by pragmatic compromises for 40 years. It has worked for the most part to the benefit of most people iin idfferent ways they may not always have been aware of. But didn't work well enough to benefit everyone, which I attribute to pre-existing social division and concentration of wealth and power in the London and the South of England.

Parliament is divided between dreaming nostalgic opportunists who think we'd be better off out, and those who realistically consider that we might lose more than we'd ever gain, even if they admit that EU governance needs a big overhaul. Three years have been wasted on power struggle and confrontation between these blocs.

Thank God in a way it's been deadlock and stasis, as desperation may lead from confrontation to dialogue, not only among Parliamentarians, but in the country as a whole, about what we need and hope for in future. Not just those who made the effort to vote, but also those who failed to vote for whatever reason at the time, plus those expats excluded from voting. From genuine dialogue it may be possible to reach a constructive compromise. If not there will be civil strife.

How to get people out of social media echo chambers to engage without nastiness and bullying is the big challenge, the other side of this present stalemated game of chess. But first, the liars bullies and blackmailers holding the country to ransom have to be discredited. An election may not the the answer. Political realignment of MPs, and / or reversing the hard right governmental coup needs to happen before resorting to the polls.

Tomorrow is my third round of surgery at Llandough. I'm a lot better now than I was five months ago, but the mild pain and discomfort coped with most of the time, and caring for an open wound have taken their toll on me.

I dread the thought of having the Seton's suture and/or a new wound for much longer and with no certainty of outcome. It plays on my mind, a bit like being a hostage in the dark chained to a radiator, not knowing what's going to happen, if or when freedom will be restored.

How to say this to Mrs Cornish the surgeon? I don't need sympathy, I need closure, both physical and psychological, to resume a full life before ageing sets in with a vengeance.