In limbo

I took my Doxazosin pill before bed last night, to avoid its initial impact by sleeping through it, since it tends to make me both light headed and drowsy. It didn't make any difference, however, as the negative effects persisted until after lunch. It doesn't seem to be reducing my blood pressure either, which is still erratic like my pulse. Well, it's always possible that my sphygmomanometer is faulty, and that the body takes time to adjust to a higher dosage. It's all rather un-nerving. The blood test result arrives tomorrow, so I have emailed the surgery to ask for a GP telephone consultation. 

I walked into town this afternoon, and got caught in a ten minute rain shower as I walked down Riverside embankment. Fortunately the trees have a thick coverage of leaves, enough to shelter me on a dry patch of ground until it was over. There was a breath of wind the cloud moved and the sun returned. That's how the weather has been now for several days. I go out, thinking I don't need rain gear, and then it rains. For several days now that's how it's been. I resent having to wear a mac in high summer, or having to carry a brolly or a mac. Annoying weather, if such a thing is possible. 

There seemed to be more people out and about in town this week than the last time I visited. For the sake of the retailers I hope that shoppers are buying and not just looking, which is what I tend to do. But then there's so little I really need these days. The bargain used Olympus OM-D I had my eye on last week has now disappeared from Cameraland's window, presumably sold, thus removing one more temptation to buy something I don't need.

I watched a string of NCIS episodes during the evening to take my mind off these wretched symptoms. It's so odd to be reasonably fit and functional, but feel unwell in this insidious way. I feel as if I'm being poisoned not supported by medication at the moment. Such a bizarre state to be in and I don't know what to do with myself. I wish it didn't take so long to get a reasoned diagnosis, but all medical services that are working are doing so at a much slower pace under the 'new normal' - unless there's an emergency. I'd hate to be in need of emergency treatment these days, even though the coronavirus crisis is making far less demand on medical services these days. I feel I'm in limbo until I know what's wrong with me, if anything. I won't mind if nothing physical is amiss and it turns out to be psychosomatic, or just a case of burnout, as age catches up with me. It would serve me right.