Nothing to do except receive

Another overcast day with occasional rain showers. After breakfast I went to St Catherine's and celebrated the Eucharist with six of the regulars. It's the first time for me to do so in a month. I can't say that I missed it. Just being on the receiving end seems right for me, just what I need at the moment. At one level doing again something I'm used to isn't difficult when necessary but at another level it takes from me more than I get back. The inner feeling that I've been 'running on empty' has been with me for over a year. I'm fit and well thankfully, continuing to discharge the few responsibilities I have left as well as ever. I'd like to stop and change in some way that would give me fresh momentum.

If I wasn't under the constraint of having to perform the service in the customary manner for the sake of consistency and continuity for those who attend, I would do things differently, much more slowly and in a more intimate setting - the side chapel would be better this than a big empty church. This would be in order to get more out of a simple act of worship, to drink more deeply from the stream, so to speak. It's certainly what I get out of just sitting in the congregation on the receiving end and having nothing to do except this.

I made of point of remembering Eluned in the service as she takes up office as the leader of the Senedd Labour Party. It is in a real sense a calling to ministry which has sought her more than she has sought it. The announcement has not yet been made when her formal election by the Senedd as First Minister will take place. Vaughan Gething has yet to offer his formal resignation from the post to the King. Nothing happens quickly in the affairs of state even if the media give the impression they do. In reality the multiple responsibilities of top leaders take time to transfer from one office holder to another, and in the meanwhile reports of new issues and challenges keep coming, even in the holiday season.

After coffee and chat following the Eucharist, I collected the veg bag from Chapter. Clare was out when I returned, having a treatment with a local osteomyologist, so I cooked lunch. Then after eating, an hour's siesta, a walk in Llandaff Fields, dodging light rain showers under the trees, and then a visit to Beanfreaks to collect this week's grocery order and treat us to a loaf of fresh sourdough rye bread. A really tasty treat.

Then with no other tasks in hand, I continued watching remaining episodes of 'Suspect' series two until supper and well into the evening after. It turns out be a melodrama with several female psychiatrists playing evasive mind games with each other, while one of them is tracking a serial killer and uncovering a huge sinister conspiracy to eliminate anyone who realises there's something suspicious going on, or else are too afraid to mention. It's not clear who the conspirators are or how extensive their reach in law, government and medicine. And after eight episodes, the killer gets his due dessert, but the conspiracy is not unmasked, so we now have to wait for the arrival of a series three (yawn).