Unwelcome ache

 A good night's sleep, waking up to sunshine and a clear sky and a fairly clear head. There were as many people in the choir as in the congregation at the St Catherine's Eucharist. Whatever else the meds may do to prevent another stroke or coronary, they dull my brain and impair reactions. The worst thing they do is to destablise my bowels with excessive wind and diarrhea and this has proved painful and bruising recently. My right buttock feels as if I've been kicked hard. The pain and discomfort reminds me of how this area felt when I had the anal abscess. Is this scarred muscle tissue being torn by pressure from emptying my bowels - collateral damage from a so-called life saving drug that ruins my quality of life? If I go to A&E today, quite apart from the long wait, the thought of another spell in hospital and maybe surgery fills me with dread. I haven't fully recovered from the assault on the senses of my last admission. If it doesn't get any worse, I'll go to the GP surgery tomorrow and ask for an assessment.

Clare didn't go to church with me this morning as she wanted to attend the Welsh service in the afternoon, so lunch was ready soon after I returned home. I slept for an hour and a half after the meal, then went for a walk around Llandaff Fields for another hour. Walking boosts the circulation which helps clear the head and ease the bruised buttock feeling. It's worth the effort.

After supper, I transcribed more of the Ulster travel diary. The way I write has changed a great deal in the years since then. I recognise the writer I was in those days, but don't think that I like the person I was back then. While it may read like a journalist's note book of observations and anecdotes, it's opinionated, rough and ready. It wasn't written with an audience in mind. Blogging has changed that for me, although I have never written for any particular group of readers and have no idea who the couple of dozen people are whose page visits are recorded after blogs are posted. It's the sense that somebody may be paying attention which drives me to express myself and my ideas as clearly as possible. I'll never know if I succeed in this. Enough for today. Sleep beckons.