Three dimensional ethics

After breakfast this morning, I worked on editing and condensing on next week's reflections for a couple of hours, then went for a pre-lunch turn around the park. I'm amazed at the growth of the French Beans planted three days ago. One of the six hasn't sprouted at all, a fifth is starting to emerge three days behind the others. Will it end up doing as well? We'll see.

More good news about the continued reduction in covid infections and deaths over the past week. This is a review following the easing of restrictions in England five weeks ago, and shows no infection set-back has occurred as a result.  This has been sustained both due to over half the country being once vaccinated and a third vaccinated twice, plus social distancing and other precautions still being followed by many. It's so good to see pubs and restaurants opening for outdoor service. 

I was particularly pleased to see that the tiny St Canna's Ale house on Llandaff Road has transformed its back yard in recent weeks with the addition of a solid canopy sheltering all the yard area at a three metre height above ground. I think this is a far sighted investment by a popular real ale pub with a substantial following. 

Most places have gone for tents or umbrellas within enclosed serving areas. Heaneys, our local nouvelle cuisine restaurant with its own cocktail bar-cum-cafe next door has canopied its car park. The building was once a paint store, with huge shop windows and a narrow forecourt, where clients parked off road. Not the most congenial of dining environments even after an extensive makeover. The forecourt is fenced off now with outdoor tables under big umbrellas and flowering plant pots punctuating the enclosure line. The shop windows no longer detracts from its appearance. It's somehow more inviting now. I wish them success in the bounce back to normality. The pandemic has really changed the ambience of city centre and Pontcanna streets for the better.

After lunch I drove Clare over to Cathays to the University Optometrists to collect her new varifocal specs which look very good on her, and deliver a hoped for improvement, given the slow deterioration of her eyesight. She's been for a DVLA mandated two-eyes field of vision test at Specsavers this week, and now we wait to hear whether the results will permit her to hold a license or not.

Then, another walk down to the river and back before supper and this week's episode of 'New Amsterdam', which was all about the ethics and values behind crowd funding for medical aid for patients who couldn't afford life saving treatments. A discussion of the issues in an essay wouldn't be nearly as engaging as a well thought out film script in the hands of the right director. The argument in words may be something any reasonable person could follow, but a movie condenses and symbolises the issues in a way that allows the reason, imagination and critical faculties of a recipient to engage with. It provokes genuine discussion over values we can identify with. We need all the tools we can find to help us analyse and think creatively

V-2 day

A lovely bright sunny morning for our car journey to Cardiff's football stadium grounds for our second covid inoculation. In contrast to the wintry grey overcast morning of out first jab visit. On the Today programme we heard from Professor Sarah Walker of the national covid infection survey research project. She reported on findings from people tested after vaccination, illustrating how mass vaccination is paying off in the population in terms of sustained high antibody levels after single and double doses. Along with continuing precautions, restrictions, test and trace, this is fast driving down infection and death rates. 

And on this day of good cheer, excellent news of the development of a much more potent anti-malarial vaccine. Roughly half to three quarters of a million people have died of malaria annually for decades, if a more effective vaccine is rolled out globally, it will transform the health and economy of many poor tropical countries.

The speed and efficiency of the UK vaccine roll-out has helped enormously. But she also presented facts that warn us against complacency. Once vaccinated you can still get covid infected a second time, albeit a milder dose, which might still make you a carrier of contagion if you're unaware of being infected. It may be a one in fifty chance of this occurring instead of one in five let's say, but this could trigger off another spike in infections if not nipped in the bud. 

The epidemic may be on its way out, but the virus will still be endemic; i.e. not totally eliminated, and therefore some level of on-going precaution will be required. like mask wearing and social distancing in enclosed public spaces. In many South East Asian countries this became habitual in any case decades ago, during the SARS pandemic, and helps to explain why their covid infection rates have been low in comparison to others. The 'new normal' is going to include mask wearing, like it or not.

We shared in cooking a pizza for an early lunch, which turned out superbly thanks to perfect dough made by Clare. Then I drove to Thornhill for the funeral at which I was to officiate. The hearse arrived just in time, instead of being ten to fifteen minutes early, which is normal - due to sporadic traffic congestion as a result of city centre restrictions on all but public transport along Castle Street. Both my journeys today, at the same time as on Wednesday this week, were un-delayed, unlike Wednesday. It's not sol easy to predict and plan journeys around the city as it was previously.

When I got home afterwards, I went for my daily walk. Kath called me and we chatted for half an hour. Then I settled down to catch up on writing emails to people from whom I have heard recently, but been too busy to respond to. After supper, another episode of 'New Amsterdam', more photos to upload and edit, and then bed.

A new kind of ethical dilemma

Another bright cold sunny day, good conditions to try out my new Zoom lens, so I was out walking in the park by ten thirty. It's pleasant to handle and produces the kind of results I hoped for, getting shots of birds high up in trees not yet covered with foliage.

This past couple of weeks the cricket pitches in both parks have been mown and boundaries marked. One group of amateur cricketers I saw were in the throes of learning how to assemble a large mobile frame on wheels designed for use as a 'practice nets' structure. There's been the occasional informal match, although how legal that was under covid restrictions I don't know, and almost daily when it's dry small groups are out there practicing bowling, catching or batting. 

As I was walking over Llandaff Fields this morning, the astro-turf wicket was occupied by two guys. One was practicing his batting, but the other wasn't bowling to him in the normal way. He was delivering a white cricket ball to the batsman using the kind of throwing device beloved of dog walkers. The park is rarely without several people making use of this shoulder pain saving device to send a hound speeding off a hundred metres to retrieve a ball. I wonder how easy it is to pitch a cricket ball with speed and accuracy down a twenty metre wicket?

Clare made a pizza for lunch as she was also baking bread and had dough to spare. I went out for another walk after lunch, and then watched New Amsterdam on catch-up. This week an interesting modern dileema was presented in one story line. A young couple meet for the first time and fall in love at College. Some years later as they get ready to be married they both do a DNA test which reveals that by virtue of sperm donation, both have the same father. They are soul mates. What should they do? Marry and keep the fact secret, but adopt children on the grounds that they cannot have children otherwise. It's something I never thought of before. I wonder if it's happened in real life?

I had a phone call from Fr Phelim this afternoon, we've been trying to catch up with each other for the past week or so. I wanted to find out how he was getting on in his new role as Ministry Area Leader, even thought it's still early days. He told me that St German's is going to be in the Roath Ministry Area from the new year onward, and no longer under his watchful eye. St German's is one of the Parishes that remained open for Sunday worship, over the past year, except when it was legally obliged to close, Both St German's and St Saviour's are seeing a return of worshippers in numbers equal to if not greater than before the pandemic, reflecting their history of rootedness in the communities they serve. He's asked me to cover the St German's Sunday Eucharist for him a week Sunday. I'll be very happy to do that. It must be the best part of eighteen months since I was there last.

After supper I binge watched several episodes of 'Non Uccidere' series three in which the mafia background history of the is spun out alongside the weekly case study in dysfunctional family crimes. Some of the stories make me wonder if they reflects modern domestic reality too.

Cinema as observatory

Another day of clouds with chilling north wind, and even a brief bout of hail this afternoon, with snow on high ground. It's just like we're back in early February again. My morning prayer upload went smoothly, and after breakfast, I recorded and edited two more day's worth of uploads without a hitch, in less than an hour. Finally I made contact with the chief mourner of the third funeral I'll be taking, and was then able to prepare the service.

I also made contact with osteo-myologist Kay, who has been out of circulation not just due to covid but due to a personal injury a while back. She's now resuming work, and I have an appointment with her in Newport a week today. My neck and shoulder still need sorting out properly, I have found a way to stop the condition getting worse and having seize up on me, but I think there's an alignment issue which only someone with expertise can sort out.

This evening I finally got around to watching last week's episode of 'New Amsterdam'. It was interesting in that it dealt almost entirely with concerns about palliative care, and the different needs of patients in their end of life phase. The NYC public hospital in which the drama is set doesn't seem to have a chaplain on the staff team as such, but many key staff clearly exercise extended pastoral roles in relation to patients. I'm not sure how true to life this is, but this narrative angle poses challenging questions about the role of ministers of religion in a secular setting.

Then, by accident I discovered that More Four Walter Presents is screening two more batches of episodes in the low key Italian detective series 'Non Uccidere', which mostly looks at crime in the context of family relationships. Religious issues crop up in some episodes, to more of an extent than in other modern crime series. Despite the Vatican at the heart of its capital city, Italy is as secular as any other European country. I wonder what this particular story telling slant has to say about society and religion there today.

Getting ready for Easter

Occasional bursts of rain and cold winds today. I had an appointment for a blood pressure check at the GP surgery at ten. It's much the same as it was when I last went, when I was still taking the doxazosin, so at least I've not made things any worse. I had a good discussion with the practice nurse, who, knowing my condition wasn't unduly concerned about the reading she took. I discovered that she used to work on the Llandough day surgery colorectal surgery team with Mrs Cornish. A reassuring surprise.

As I've been asked to do the Easter Week on-line Morning Prayer and Reflection, I wrote the first in the series of six, starting from an idea I remembered from last night as I was falling asleep. I've also been asked to celebrate the Eucharist at St Catherine's next Wednesday. I enjoy being in the congregation on the receiving end, but no longer feel that as I priest I must, out of devotion if not duty, be celebrating as often as I can. Being able to stand in and support our overworked clergy team means a lot, and gives me a different kind of pleasure and satisfaction. 

I had a preparatory phone conversation with the chief mourner for next Thursday's funeral. I'm standing in for Fr Jesse in Caerau with Ely Parish. As it's Maundy Thursday, he'll be gathering, in the flesh or digitally, for the Chrism Mass with other clergy I imagine. I've had to cover in the past when there have been funerals on this day. 

Clare went into town to bank a cheque and enquire about transferring big sums digitally and she returned reassured by what she learned. I cooked a paella with prawns in it for lunch, and that worked out well. Clare was late returning, but it was just ready finally as she came through the door.

I fell asleep again after lunch and went out late for a walk, late in the sense that Clare had booked me to take her to Rumney for her first post lock-down hairdo with Chris at six. We were surprised at how little traffic there was. It took us half the usual drive time to get there. I returned, got supper ready for her, and spent the evening writing in front of the telly, catching up on this week's 'New Amsterdam' episode. One of the stories was about a prayer group which met in the hospital concourse. Good things were seen to happen when they were around. 

Dr Max Goodwin, the hospital director is of Jewish origins, a very secular scientist. He tolerates the group's presence, unprepared to see any difference their prayer is supposed to make until he himself ends up trying to intercede for a patient with a new life threatening ailment, who then inexplicably recovers. Everyone is relieved and grateful but mystified by what happens. Even the pastor of the prayer group admits he doesn't know how it happens: "But I know one good thing." he says smiling. "Prayer changes us inside!" A-men to that.

Croeso Dewi Sant

Although I slept quite well, I obviously needed more, so after breakfast, when I'd completed Morning Prayer and some Spanish exercises, I found myself nodding off, and slept soundly for over an hour. All I have to do is relax a while and I fall asleep, but if I have things to do, I can stay continuously active and not feel tired at all. I don't understand it. 

For tomorrow's video reflection, I started thinking about bridges with the re-opening of the Blackweir Bridge topical at the moment. Writing a script came easily, and with a surprise. I googled 'bridges in the Bible' and the search result didn't produce the name of any bridge. The fords of the Jordan and its tributary the Jabbok are mentioned, and the standing stones at the Jordan crossing, but no bridge, despite the fact that Greeks and Romans had already engineered lasting stone bridges around the empire centuries before the time of Christ. Yet, the idea of bridging the gulf between separated entities is there in scripture in the concept of reconciliation. The verb 'to bridge' rather than the noun 'bridge' is what you find. Bridge building is a commonly used metaphor. I didn't have time to dig deeper and find a reason, I first had to think of a way to illustrate the sound recording I made.

When I went for a walk in the afternoon, I went down to Blackweir Bridge and video'd a thirty second introduction to the reflection with the bridge in the background. My Google Photos accounts have scores of bridge photos taken on my travels. The Photos app uses shape recognition technology to guess which ones show a bridge. This gave me a huge variety of pictures to work with for a slide show to go with the audio and the video, and I'm pleased to say that with a little patience, it worked, as planned.

Fran and Mark came around to deliver the completed St David icon she's painted. It's hanging on the dining room wall, and looks magnificent. It' like having a special house guest. The four of us went for a walk in Thompson;s Park so we could chat socially distanced. I took my Sony DSLR with the 50mm lens, which I rarely use, preferring big long lens. The 50mm lens has limited scope compared to others I have, but I thought it was about time I learned how to work with and benefit from those limitations, or find out if there are any benefits. This is very much a matter of trial and error on my part!

I finished the task after supper and watched part of a Welsh language song writing competition with Clare on S4C, before watching this week's 'New Amsterdam' episode on More 4 catch-up. The episode highlighted inadequate health care resources in prison and the terrible impact this has on inmates' mental and physical condition. Tough watching.

Bridge returns to life

I slept for nearly nine hours and woke up to bright sunshine. Lately I've not been waking early, or if I do, I go back to sleep while waiting for 'Thought for the Day' on Radio 4. I make a point of listening on BBC Sounds catch-up before I get up. It's useful to be able to roll back a live broadcast, and it works well.

I learned from a local news item today that Blackweir Bridge repairs are nearly complete and it will re-open next week. I also learned that the bridge isn't part of the City Council's estate, but the University which funded construction and maintains it. It wasn't closed due to the pandemic, as I presumed, but due to minor structural damage that made it unsafe. Repairs took couple of weeks, but the best part of a year to agree to get done, though there's been no hurry to complete. The public is much better informed and prepared to be cautious crossing the bridge now, socially distanced, in single file - hopefully!

I was pleased to see a photo of Fran's icon of St David appear in this week's Parish Sway newsletter. I've written Monday's reflection on the icon and a discursive prayer which I'd like to record in St Catherine's if I get an opportunity when we go to church tomorrow to join in the pre-reopening spring-clean.

For the second day running I've taken my Sony Alpha 68 DSLR camera out walking with me. It's such a lovely camera to use, I find that I take far more photos with it when I'm out in good shooting conditions. Its weight with a long lens is the only disadvantage, three times as heavy as the Olympus. If I had a long and a broad lens for the Olympus that were together as good as my versatile Alpha mount telephoto, the Olympus would be a match in terms of photo quality, and much lighter by design. The equivalent lenses, even second hand are pretty pricey on a low budget. Clare keeps asking what I am going to do with all the pictures I take. If I could decide on interesting themes to select, I could compose photo books to use as gifts or even for sale as coffee table items. Trouble is, I'm no better with the idea of seeking a market than I am seeking an audience for my writing. Fear of failure? Fear of not being noticed? I wonder why?

Another interesting episode of 'New Amsterdam' to watch on catch-up tonight, with an interesting little vignette of what happens when a medic pursues a concern about the health of drug addicts and provision of safe managed injection places in a world where doing this is against the law. The forces of law and order are unable to punish adequately or eliminate the international chain of illegal drug suppliers. Drug addiction is a major global public health issue. Why drive users underground and into crime when with the right support they can be helped to get lives and health in order and weaned off drugs? 

This approach has been shown to work in places where licensed supervised clinics have been set up. It's hard to understand why advocates of law enforcement are reluctant to change strategy, unless they are addicted to playing 'cops and crooks' never really succeeding in winning. Addicts are in a way victims of the consumer culture the world has created, but treated as perpetrators. It doesn't have to be like this.  

Beware the air we breathe

Back to thick grey clouds and intermittent rain today, with more to come in the next few days, and threats of flooding. At least I didn't get too wet, walking before and after lunch. I cooked rice and Brussels sprouts with boil-in-the-bag mussels again, tastes to cheer us on another miserable day.

Official covid infection statistics released today show continued downward progression. In three weeks time phased re-introduction of children to classes in school will begin. Groups of four people from just two households will be able to meet again outdoors from this weekend - but judging from what I observe on my daily walks in the parks, this has been taking place already for weeks, few are even an arm's length away from others, let alone properly socially distanced. There's no sign of enforcement taking place, except in car parks. 

It's good to hear more being said about the risk from airborne infection. The existence of more contagious new variants calls for this to be emphasised, outdoors as well as indoors. I find it strange that early research nearly a year ago revealed the likely role of airborne transmission, yet only in the past three months when the contagion risk had been observed to be much higher has it been given increased prominence in public health advisory videos. 

Drivers of taxis, buses, and above all, ambulance drivers have suffered disproportionately high infection rates due to the amount of time they spend in enclosed spaces transporting, then waiting with patients, and treating them. Their standard of personal protection equipment needs to be much higher than in reality it is. I'm not sure we're hearing much from either unions or the government on what's being done to reduce the risks to health and safety in a crisis. Who cares for the carers here?

The Parish weekly notices are now being delivered by means of Microsoft's Sway, one of the apps that is part of Microsoft Office. The diocese also uses Sway to circulate its weekly info round-robin. An Office user can bring together text, images, web-links, audio and video into a presentation hosted on One Drive and accessible via a URL It can even be used to create a website. In effect, each week's round-robin is a little website of its own. Sway has been around for seven years but like video conferencing apps has seen new uses and users during the pandemic. It's rather passed me by, as I'm no longer delivering 'content' to anyone. I wonder if it will supplant the Christmas newsletter pdf in years to come?

This afternoon I watched this week's episode of 'New Amsterdam' on catch-up, and later in the evening the last episode of 'Rebecka Martinson - Arctic Murders'. Not for the first time in this series, a presumed murder turns out to be an accidental death whose circumstances cause others to lie about it. Tragedy in life can have many layers to it.

Thinking together

I celebrated the Eucharist at St John's this morning with nine others. The church was open when I arrived, but nobody had a safe key, by Fr Benedict rang the caretaker, and we were able to open the safe at the last minute. Mthr Emma came as well. I appreciated being able to minister to the Parish clergy for a change. 

The Gospel of the day struck a chord with me, Jesus healing a leper whose appeal to him begins; "If you want, you can heal me and make me clean" (Matt 8.2). Jesus says "Of course ..." It's like the man is trying to make Jesus feel guilty, rather than saying outright "Have mercy on me, and heal me" Jesus doesn't try to teaching him a lesson, or play his game, he just heals him, and sends him off to register his healing with the local priest and make a thank offering, and say nothing about how he has been healed. The man can't resist being indiscreet and tells everyone he meets about who healed him. 

Yes, he's got a great story to tell after goodness knows how long living in social isolation, but he ignores the only thing Jesus asked of him in return. There's no comeback, no sanction for disobeying Jesus. He's already on his way, someone else is begging him to heal them. The story begs the question why Jesus seeks to avoid publicising his ministry. It's what biblical scholars call 'The messianic secret'.

It struck me, perhaps for the first time, that Jesus doesn't look for approval or support. He asks those he helps to be discreet about his ministry. He gives to each person individually. Contrary to popular ideas about what a Messiah should be or do, His aim isn't to start a new religious or political movement, but to offer a no strings attached experience of God's unconditional free grace to anyone open to receive it, no matter what their status, motive or attitude. He's not out to change anyone he helps. They must find in themselves the need to change in response to grace they have freely received. This was hard to grasp in His own time, and it still is nowadays. 

Yesterday Clare started talking about making face masks, as both of us find the designs of those we find in the shops are never quite satisfactory in use. She found a sewing pattern to work with on the internet and then produced a trial version which fitted me better than her. I have a larger head and a long jaw. A mask that I wear correctly always feels as if it will slip off when I talk, as I have a big jaw and long chin. It's good to have a mask that gives me more confidence to wear when I'm ministering to others.

I had a walk around Pontcanna Fields after lunch, and was surprised to find, later in the day, that I walked further in total today than at any time since the first week I was in Ibiza, without feeling tired. It's good that my energy levels are still improving - well, maybe not every day. I'm just glad that improvement is still possible at all.

By chance this evening I discovered Series Two of the New York City hospital drama 'New Amsterdam' started last Thursday on the More Four Channel. I was much taken with series one, both the story-lines and the characters, and the first couple of episodes of series two which I watched this evening didn't disappoint. 

It was amazing tonight to see a hospital's medical director portrayed as making a effort to learn what was possible to do to improve the general health and well-being of staff complaining that they never had enough time for themselves and their families and always felt tired. He figures out that most of them are taking four hours a day to commute to work, on public transport if not driving across a congested city, exhausting in its own right. He proposes that staff pool their commuting expenditure and hire a coach that will pick them up from home to take them to the hospital, saving a couple of hours a day to be that much longer at home, and give them quiet time on the bus, enabling them to plan their day, and get extra rest. It just works. 

So often in life complex problems can be addressed in a simple creative way, once a right understanding of surrounding issues has been reached. John Bell's 'Thought for the Day' on Tuesday spoke of Jesus, not as one who handed out edicts from on high, but as one who sat down and discussed essential matters with people at grass roots level. It's something the church needs to pay more attention to in its 'strategic' planning, rather than do surveys and bring in experts to forge policies everyone can follow,

Faith journey

I attended the Eucharist at St John's this morning, and said goodbye to Mother Frances and friends in the congregation there. All my duties are done except a service at St Paul's this Sunday, so now I have to get ready in detail for my journey to Ibiza. I went to the wound clinic and collected supplies of dressings to see me through most of the time ahead. The wound is easier to manage and this is evident in the decreasing amount of medical waste produced. Packing just one case is going to be an interesting exercise when I get around to it! 

I'm still a bit nervous about how I'll cope away from my comfort zone and the security of home, but this is the challenge of trusting faith is about. I keep thinking of the biblical sage which begins by stating the Abram was 99 years old when God called him to leave Harran and become an nomad in Canaan. 

It's been very windy with occasional strong downpours today, and chillingly cold, if sunny for my afternoon walk, even with my old thick ski jacket on. There's a lot more rain on the way and more flooding to come it seems.

The engaging 'New Amsterdam' medical drama series I've been following for months with 22 episodes, finishing tonight on a rather shocking tragic note. This suggested there's a second series in the pipeline. I check with IMDB and found there are another sixteen episodes to come and these are being aired now on a subscription channel, which means they will come over to More Four in the next six months or so. I look forward to that.  

O Radix Jesse

I got to sleep late and got going too late to attend the Eucharist at St John's this morning, but I did get out to visit the wound clinic and collect some dressings to be sure I have what I need to cover the usual supply and demand chaos surrounding the holiday season.

While I was out, I realised that my wallet was missing from my jacket, and that gave me a panic, until I remembered that I'd last worn the fleece my sister gave me, and hadn't removed the wallet and put it back in its usual place. Silly small things like this can be quite upsetting. Coping over the past year has made me more of a creature of routine than ever before. I have to discipline myself to carry out everything, to make sure I don't get caught out by an unexpected change in the condition of my wound. Fatigue or concentrating on the wrong things at the wrong moment can sow minor chaos in my routinised life.

Losing keys, as I did on Monday, misplacing wallet, specs etc, are quite upsetting. Call it ageing, or forgetfulness, whatever, it's more to do with the long drawn out recovery from 'flu in my opinion. I get bursts of mental and even physical energy sometimes, and then phases of sluggishness. Not so much fatigue though, as I'm not desperate for an afternoon siesta as I was I few months back. There are some gains. I just wish I didn't have to wake another month for the pre-op surgical assessment, with no date fixed for op number four. It's a plague on my morale.

Another interesting episode of 'New Amsterdam' tonight, in which the head of A&E is taken to task for near-miss errors. The doctor in question is energetic and workaholic, and normally successful, but she's heading for burnout, and abusing prescribed medications which, it's revealed, she's taken since her teens for coping with ADHD diagnosis. She's in denial, but in a well portrayed encounter with the hospital's psychaiatrist, she acknowledges what's been driving her, and commits herself to change her behaviour. What I found interesting was how she attributed her usual work success to the fact of her ADHD condition. Not blaming it, but drawing on that source of energy to give more of herself that should reasonably be asked. She'd learned to channel that which other might regard as problematic about her. With so many youngsters these days being diagnosed with ADHD, how often I wonder do their teachers and medical specialists see the possibility to acknowledge and harness this energy for good, rather than try to contain and control it.
 

Health, belonging and usefulness

I celebrated the Eucharist at St John's this morning. After cooking lunch I went into town in search of a pair of trainers for my daily walk, from Sketchers recommended by Podiatrist Michelle Bird. They're very lightweight, and proved comfortable to wear when I put them on for a short walk around the park later in the day. Hopefully the thick sole will be kinder on my feet for longer walks.

Clare has now corrected and approved our annual Christmas newsletter, so it's ready for circulation. That's my next task to prepare. Half will go by email, the other half by post. It's a bit of an effort, so I have to be in the mood to get started and get the job done in one go.

I watched another episode of 'New Amsterdam' in the evening in which the hyper-actively zealous hospital director has to undergo chemotherapy and struggles to slow down and be tied down like a normal patient. I understand that. Keeping going as normally as possible is what I've tried to do this past year too. A remedy against feeling despair at being useless. 

In another story-line, the hospital is frequently visited by a homeless man presenting a series of ailments and injuries, some serious, others trivial or imaginary. He visits so often, he costs the charitable foundation over a million in medical bills and this is an ethical headache. They won't refuse him treatment, but that amount of money could benefit scores of patients. The Director realises that the man is most in need of a secure place to live, and rents an apartment for him to call his own, theorising that prevention is the best cure. But this isn't enough. 

He's soon back again with another trivial complaint. It's clear that he knows the entire hospital like the back of his hand. It's the one place in his life as a lonely single person where he feels cared for. He just needs to shift from being on the receiving end of community care to belong within it. He's found a role keeping company with people as a volunteer while they are undergoing chemotherapy, and helping people with directions to find places they need to visit and his life is changed.  

Project milestone reached

Apart from taking a funeral at St Catherine's at lunchtime yesterday, I spent most of the day writing, with an afternoon break for an interrupted five mile walk, to re-charge my brain. The exercise, both of transcribing and adding in explanatory detail is quite demanding, as in places my journal is  thin on detail, as it was written at the end of each day's activity while I was in Sarajevo.

When I'd had enough, I stopped watched the previous and current episodes of 'New Amsterdam' on More Four. It continues to sustain interest with its complex medical procedures, some difficult ethical decisions, and the evolving personal relationships between dramatis personae. 

Much the same was true of today, with another uninterrupted five mile walk and watching a couple of episodes of Series Two of 'The Team' On More Four to punctuate the day. By late afternoon I finished the transcription job, and felt a great deal of relief. It's not finished. There are vital corrections, and probably additions as well, as I'm finding memories of the time surfacing, which didn't get noticed and noted then even though they were and still are important aspects of the story to be told.

'The Team' is most enjoyable. It's a crimmie about an international group of detectives working on the same frontier crossing case. The cast is different from Series One. Team members are from Belgium, Denmark and Germany. It's about a mass murder in Jutland with Islamist terrorism, antiquities theft and people trafficking all in the mixture. What I appreciate is the way different languages are brought in - Danish, Flemish, German, English, Arabic and French.

It's well subtitled and not confusing, but it lends a special quality to the drama. The detectives often use suitably accented English between them and sometimes with subjects being interrogated. Arabic conversations between people caught up in the crisis also occur, but the speakers use either English or French to relate to the police, since they are Syrian refugees or settlers. Both ex-colonial languages are still used in Syria. It's very well done.

Thankfully, no sermon to write this evening, as I have no assignments for tomorrow. I'm quite glad of a respite, I've done a lot of extra jobs this past year with little time off. Our Oxwich Bay holiday told me that I'm in need of refreshment. If only I could take a few quiet weeks seaside retreat in Malaga. It's impossible to plan anything until I hear about my next surgical appointment. I don't know when that will be. It could be several months before I get treated. This is really beginning to bother me. I increasingly feel like a hostage awaiting release pending negotiations out of their control.