A new kind of ethical dilemma

Another bright cold sunny day, good conditions to try out my new Zoom lens, so I was out walking in the park by ten thirty. It's pleasant to handle and produces the kind of results I hoped for, getting shots of birds high up in trees not yet covered with foliage.

This past couple of weeks the cricket pitches in both parks have been mown and boundaries marked. One group of amateur cricketers I saw were in the throes of learning how to assemble a large mobile frame on wheels designed for use as a 'practice nets' structure. There's been the occasional informal match, although how legal that was under covid restrictions I don't know, and almost daily when it's dry small groups are out there practicing bowling, catching or batting. 

As I was walking over Llandaff Fields this morning, the astro-turf wicket was occupied by two guys. One was practicing his batting, but the other wasn't bowling to him in the normal way. He was delivering a white cricket ball to the batsman using the kind of throwing device beloved of dog walkers. The park is rarely without several people making use of this shoulder pain saving device to send a hound speeding off a hundred metres to retrieve a ball. I wonder how easy it is to pitch a cricket ball with speed and accuracy down a twenty metre wicket?

Clare made a pizza for lunch as she was also baking bread and had dough to spare. I went out for another walk after lunch, and then watched New Amsterdam on catch-up. This week an interesting modern dileema was presented in one story line. A young couple meet for the first time and fall in love at College. Some years later as they get ready to be married they both do a DNA test which reveals that by virtue of sperm donation, both have the same father. They are soul mates. What should they do? Marry and keep the fact secret, but adopt children on the grounds that they cannot have children otherwise. It's something I never thought of before. I wonder if it's happened in real life?

I had a phone call from Fr Phelim this afternoon, we've been trying to catch up with each other for the past week or so. I wanted to find out how he was getting on in his new role as Ministry Area Leader, even thought it's still early days. He told me that St German's is going to be in the Roath Ministry Area from the new year onward, and no longer under his watchful eye. St German's is one of the Parishes that remained open for Sunday worship, over the past year, except when it was legally obliged to close, Both St German's and St Saviour's are seeing a return of worshippers in numbers equal to if not greater than before the pandemic, reflecting their history of rootedness in the communities they serve. He's asked me to cover the St German's Sunday Eucharist for him a week Sunday. I'll be very happy to do that. It must be the best part of eighteen months since I was there last.

After supper I binge watched several episodes of 'Non Uccidere' series three in which the mafia background history of the is spun out alongside the weekly case study in dysfunctional family crimes. Some of the stories make me wonder if they reflects modern domestic reality too.

A creaky Advent start

I had yesterday to myself, wrote my Sunday sermon, cooked lunch and prepared vegetables to cook later when Clare returned from Worcester, then went for a long walk. Clare then texted me to say a train strike left her stranded in Worcester so she had to return to Gail's for a second night's stay. The veggies remained ready in the pan uncooked. I prepared another portion more for myself to add to them, ready to cook for Sunday lunch.

With nothing better to I watched telly all evening. I watched the latest 'New Amsterdam' episode on catch-up, also the first two episodes of 'The Sinner' series two. Then I watched the latest episodes three and four of the same live. It's another slow moving psychological thriller figuring the reason behind a double murder committed by a thirteen year old. A New Age back-to-the-land cult with a bent for psychoanalysis features as part of the context of the story. In series one it was a Millennial Survivalist cult that featured. Curious.

Up early today to be out of the door by half past eight for two Solemn Masses, one at St Saviour's and another at St German's, as Fr Phelim is away this weekend. The parish now has two St Padarn's ordinands on placement, Geraint, now in his second year of placement in the parish is joined by Natasha, also a second year student, but she had a job related placement last year in Reading, having been employed as a CofE children's officer for the four years before then. 

It's the first time either church has had a female ordinand, and I think she's been well received. I believe she and Geraint were involved in preparing children for first Communion. Three of them received the sacrament at St German's. Tomorrow, Phelim is leading another Parish Pilgrimage to Rome and Natasha is taking part.

It was lovely to be back in that parish again, as people welcome me as a familiar friend. It was also good to be able to concelebrate again with my old friend Fr Graham Francis, who has grown weaker since we we last together at the altar, as a result of an advanced stomach cancer, but he still battles on, making sure everything is in order and done to order, using up his day's quotient of energy to do what he loves most in life, being a priest at God's altar.

When I got back from church I had a text message from Clare to say that she was on a train that was going to arrive in Cardiff at one fifteen. I started cooking the veggies, and by the time she arrived lunch was ready to serve.

The morning left me feeling pretty drained, not just because of early rising, but because I had to cope with my old neck and back problem, caused by a misaligned pelvis, itself due to the long term impact of the open wound. I must get an osteomyologist appointment to straighten me out soon! It started to develop after my third op, probably because when unconscious surgeons fix your body in a position which makes it easy for them to work on without regard for later consequences. Whole body medicine isn't practiced in this reductionist era regrettably. I have been fighting a losing battle keeping this under control how I have learned to through a succession of osteomyology treatments over the years, but there are limits to what anyone can do on their own.

I went to the St Catherine's Advent Carol service this afternoon, before going for a walk in the dark. The choir was double its normal size and made a good effort, albeit a little under-rehearsed in parts.

I watched a fascinating account of the life and work of the French painter Paul Gaugin on BBC Four before turning in for the night

  .

 

Reunions

Yesterday afternoon, Owain arrived after lunch to be re-united with his sisters and stay overnight. It's a great joy for us to have all three of them together under the same roof with us. It's lovely that they all still get on well together, and can enjoy sitting at table, sharing a meal and chatting. 

This morning, I had an early start to be ready to drive to Splott to celebrate the 9.30am Mass, then the 11.00am Mass afterwards at St German's. This time, my old friend Fr Graham Francis was at church, and concelebrated the Eucharist with me. The last time we were together in this way at the altar was probably in the late 1980s, when he has Vicar of Penrhiwceiber, and I was a guest preacher on behalf of USPG. 

It's fifty years since we were both at St Mike's in training. We were among a small number of college students recruited as volunteers with Cardiff Samaritans, allowed to be be away from College on a weeknight, once a fortnight, I think it was, so that we could do the overnight shift on telephone duty. We both learned a lot from this. It was one of the first student pastoral placements outside of the domain of parochial ministry. A modest innovation in those days, but the start of a practical revolution on ministerial training which happened over the next couple of decades.

Graham lives with stomach cancer. It deprives him of his characteristic energy. He needs to rest a lot, but it doesn't hinder him taking as full a part in the Mass as he can cope with. He can't preside and preach at at Sung Mass any longer, so for most of the service he sits, and reserves himself for concelebrating and sharing the distribution of Communion. At the end, he leads the singing of the Angelus, having pointed out to me that it's an hour earlier than it should be sung, an anomalous custom from times when the St Saviour's Mass finished at noon. Since student days Graham has been a master of liturgical know how, with an immense library of publications accumulated over decades. Not an academic but a practical and creative liturgist, to whom a scholar might resort if they couldn't track down a historic resource in any library or book-shop. It saddens me to think that none of our scholarly or training institutions seem interested in inheriting his collection. He started asking when he retired. He's got publications nobody has got around to digitising or ever will.

We had a super family lunch, when I got home. Then I walked with the kids through Bute Park while Clare had a siesta. We took photos in the park and then had a go at a family selfie in the garden when we returned. I wasn't entirely pleased with the result of the latter, which I attempted to do with my Sony Alpha 68. Setting it up to take timed shots is different from the three other Sony cameras I have, and this proved disconcerting, as did setting up the camera tripod. Thankfully, Kath has a lot more expertise than me, in matters audio-visual, and rescued the situation from a long drawn out wait while dad got things right.

Kath drove Owain to the station at tea time, then headed back for Kenilworth. Time seems to pass so quickly on days like these, re-forging family bonds, with the sun shining and nothing to distract us from being at home together. I'd have liked to be completely well, but despite continued improvement this dreaded affliction still pulls me down, somewhat unawares on occasions. I'm resilient, but not as much as I expect to be. I needed Kath to remind me of how much better I am now than I was last Christmas night, when things really did take a turn for the worse. But also for the better, as I had my first contact with the District Nurses team on Boxing Day morning, and since then, I have everything to give thanks for.

Double duty day

I spent yesterday lying low. Clare and Owain went shopping in town, and Owain came home with a new Samsung phone for his birthday from us. He's also inherited my treasured Toshiba Chromebook and is delighted with it, as it performs so very well compared to the early Samsung he's been using for the past couple of years. He went out to a friend's birthday party for the evening, and once I'd got my sermon ready for the morrow, I went to bed early. There was nothing I wanted to watch on telly, and I needed to put my energy into recovering.

I was up early and out of the house on my way to Splott before nine this morning., to celebrate Mass at St Saviour's Parish Church. It must be over three years since I was last there. Sadly Fr Graham was away visiting his sister for her 70th birthday. I was a bit of a disappointment, as I had looked forward to sharing the Mass with him again, for the first time since I worked for USPG thirty five years ago. Never mind, I'll be here again in August, when I cover for Fr Phelim's annual holiday. Geraint, the St Padarn's ordinand assisted at the service and again at St German's. He's thoroughly enjoying his time in this long term placement, which is pleasing to hear. And the congregations are enjoying him too.

It was delightful to return to St German's, having been unable to offer cover on a Sunday since Fr Phelim's appointment because of being away or ill. It's a place I love to share in worship, whether celebrating or praying with the people. The sun shone brightly in the sanctuary during the Eucharist. It's awesomely beautiful, and slows me right down, it seems, almost to a halt, in pure enjoyment of being in The Presence. This is surely one of those 'thin places' the Celtic mystics talk about.

Clare cooked him a vegan recipe birthday cake, which we had slices of at tea-time. I was grateful to have come through my morning's work and feel none the worse for wear. It was good to know that I can manage to do two service back to back if needed like that. This is a distinct result of my general improvement over the past month, so that I can not get up and get going earlier than at any time in the past nine months. Slowly getting my life back!

St German's Advent Welcome to Bishop June

For the second week in a row, I celebrated and preached for a said Eucharist at St Catherine's, only this time it was at eight o'clock, and there were ten of us. I met Dylan, the third ordinand to be placed here for part time on-the-job training with St Padarn's Institute, which replaced St Michael's College Llandaff as the Church in Wales' ordination training centre last year. As a native Welsh speaker from near Llangollen, he spent the first half of his first year at Eglwys Dewi Sant, and is now getting quite a different, more common experience of settled urban Parish life in a benefice of Canton.

It started snowing during breakfast, but the temperature wasn't yet low enough for to cause problems on the roads, so rather than leave early and take the bus / no bus risk to get there on time, I drove over to St German's to join the congregation and Fr Phelim in welcoming our new diocesan Bishop June Osborne, presiding and preaching for the fisrt time. I was pleased to have an opportunity to meet her at last, and to see how happy people were on this historic occasion. She preached an encouraging and thoughtful sermon about prophets as solitary people standing apart from crowd in order to deliver the message of God. The future, under her fresh and different style of leadership will be interesting, not just to observe from the sidelines, but also to participate in. 

In our briefest of conversations, I raised with her the matter of the role of retired clerics in the life and work of the Diocese, and she said that she was aware of the extent of this, and intends to look afresh at what potential contribution might be made by the ranks of used aged volunteers. Given that many of us are fitter and active for much longer in life, but happy to have the freedom of a pensioner's life, there may be more we can do, as part of our Christian stewardship of time and talents, and be seen as part of the bigger strategic plan. Well, we'll see.

Later in the afternoon, I headed from home to the Stenier School in Llandaff North, for the school Community Choir's third pre Christmas concert. Despite the weather the audience was bigger, and the choir did very well indeed, singing a variety of material in Latin, Welsh and Old Engish. They were more confident, more cohesive, and thus clearer in delivery. My first carol singing opportuniy of the year, when in times past I'd have gone through half a dozen Carol services by now, and for this reason it was that much more a fresh enjoyable experience.
   

Ministry in the face of fear and anger

At breakfast aboard ship yesterday morning, a lady with a Mancunian accent told me about the bomb incident at Manchester Arena. It seems she'd been watching late night TV news in her cabin. We had not found a moment of idleness in which either of us wanted to watch TV  throughout the week, or listen to the radio, or scan internet news feeds, so we had no idea of what had happened. Sadly, she was quick to lay the blame at the door of 'them foreigners', and my 'what if the bomber was British?' speculation fell on deaf ears. Away from the ship, it was easier to follow the story from the phone, as signal reception in the Dreieckgebeit is strong, no matter the nationality of the service provider, which switches not infrequently as you travel around.

I woke up early this morning, aware that I'd be facing a class of children attending the midweek Mass I was due to celebrate at St Germans's. It was difficult to know how to prepare for this, especially as they could be any age group between seven and eleven, and there's no way of knowing how much the kids would have taken in at home, let alone in school. For once I wasn't looking forward to taking this service. Thankfully the morning's 'Thought for the Day' by Dr Michael Banner, offered me an insight I could work with, about kindness being essential to peacemaking. And I managed to use the story of Beauty and the Beast to illustrate how loving those we fear can change people. Well, I survived. And probably wittered on too long. As I do.

Fr Phelim arrived at the end of Mass, to meet the wardens and discuss his official arrival in the Parish as he finally has a licensing date, 14th June. It's to take place in the Cathedral, Both St German's and St Saviour's will be free to welcome him in their own way. The previous effort made by the diocese to unite these Parishes was a failure which damaged rather than develop relationships between them. There's no certainty every initiative in renewal or reform of the church for mission will succeed. But, there are unlimited possibilities to learn from failure and grow in wisdom and understanding as a result. Fr Phelim is commissioned to build bridges, re-establish trust and heal divisions, as a first step. I feel confident his background ministry experience, working in Belfast will be a blessing to all in the long run. I'll be praying for him and cheering him on from Malaga by then, thankful for the last couple of years I've be privileged to share at St German's.

    

A special announcement on a special day

An early start to the day, with a celebration of the eight o'clock at St Catherine's. There were ten of us present, including Clare. Then, after a second breakfast, the Sunday Mass at St Germans, with three dozen people, remembering Hamid's baptism on this day at St German's last year. He still hasn't been deported, and is living with his sister's family in Perry Bar, regularly attending St John's Parish church. They seem to have come to terms with his journey of faith, so different from theirs. Later on Facebook there were photos of Hamid in church at St John's this morning, being blessed by the Vicar during the Mass of the Baptism of Christ. That certainly brought a smile to my face.

At the end of the service, Area Dean, Canon Bob Capper arrived to deliver the announcement of a new incumbent for the Parish of St German & St Saviour. Fr Phelim O'Hare, our local Team Vicar here in Canton Benefice. It's a great appointment. He's a very experienced priest, and having worked in his earlier ministry in Belfast, he has experience of a similar kind of urban community environment. This will serve him well. When he starts his new ministry, I'll have worked myself out of a (locum) job for the third time in the past four years. I'm likely be helping out somewhat more in Canton Benefice when the vacancy starts, right on my doorstep. Even so, there are still three vacancies in Spain where I've done locum duty, still to be filled, so the opportunities to continue in this kind of ministry won't disappear any time soon.

   

Passiontide begins

This morning, all the sacred images in St German's were veiled in purple, and the purple rather than the optional red was the liturgical colour of the day. It looked dramatic. My personal preference, however, would be to keep the crosses and crucifixes unveiled as the sole focus of visual attention, rather than unveiling the cross alone on Good Friday afternoon, and the rest of the images at the Paschal Vigil. It's one of those historical anomalies which has never made much sense to me.

It was nevertheless quite an occasion for a news announcement. I was asked to read to the congregation at St German's a brief statement from the Diocese about the incumbent Fr Dean, whose leave from the Parish I've been covering. He has accepted a new appointment as Priest in charge of St Mary's, succeeding Fr Graham who retired at the end of January. Once he is inducted to St Mary's, the Parish of St German with St Saviour will formally be vacant. How long it will take to prepare a job description and recruit a new incumbent is unknown, but it will be a different kind of uncertainty, as both congregations will have things to do, but meanwhile they'll continue to be served by locum priests. 

Post Easter, I'll be there more sporadically because of planned holidays, and then returning to Spain for June and July, to support other congregations without their own regular pastor. It'll be two years for Nerja this autumn, and more than four for Costa Azahar. I hope it won't be quite so long for St German and St Saviour, as there are many capable lay people in both churches to keep things well organised and open for business. It's much more of a challenge in some European congregations to retain enough volunteers to cover everything that needs to be done for the enterprise to thrive healthily.

After lunch today, I walked over to Llandaff Fields with my DSLR to look for birds to photograph, as the weather continues to improve. This week at last, I've seen a pair of Great Tits and some Sparrows feeding at our bird table. There were pairs of song thrushes out in the Fields. I saw them, but didn't hear them singing as I did a couple of weekends ago.

Also I spotted a Great Tit starting a nest high up in a hollow in one of the great lime trees along the avenue that runs parallel to the river Taff. Then I caught some good pictures of a bird I didn't recognise, but on checking later, discovered was a Redwing.

This was a first sighting for me, and made it an altogether pleasant little outing.

In the evening, another tense episode of Le Carre's 'Night Manager' on telly, beautifully crafted with fine acting.